Blind-Sided Posted February 20, 2020 Share Posted February 20, 2020 Hi All, This is kind of an extension of a post in the dating section, where a single dad was more or less ignoring his new GF every weekend. Then, reading the posts... it seems like a common thing where the dad will have his kids EVERY weekend. To me... this seems strange. Sure... If it was my situation, I would want to see my kids... but that would absolutely kill any "ME" time. Not just dating... but several of my hobbies, I need a weekend day. Now, in my case, the ex wanted "Visitation" every other weekend for me. I fought it, and would not except anything less than a 50/50 agreement. (week on/week off) and I got it. Needless to say... since my ex turned so nasty... I got "You only want your kids that much so you don't have to pay me child support." (she was nice at one time, but turned nutz) But, the reality is... I've turned into the primary. My 13yo doesn't like her mom at the moment, and only goes over to her house 3 days every other week, and my 8yo is with me before, and after school on the ex's week. (Fyi... I havn't asked her for any child support because they are my kids, and I'm happy to have them) Anyway... why would a father allow the agreement to be EVERY weekend? How did you and your ex come up with any agreement you may have? This is just a curiosity post to see what is out there, and how it works. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
dramallama Posted February 20, 2020 Share Posted February 20, 2020 I responded to you in the other thread but my ex has his daughter for one day every weekend because that's literally all he does. I wanted 50/50 shared care as I work full time, my parents are dead - I need a life too - but he wouldn't do that so if he didn't have her every weekend I'd really struggle. 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted February 20, 2020 Share Posted February 20, 2020 He'll have to do that if you take him before a judge! You can't leave it up to him or you'll always get the short end of the stick. Judges typically award 50/50. It's not too late. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
dramallama Posted February 20, 2020 Share Posted February 20, 2020 27 minutes ago, preraph said: He'll have to do that if you take him before a judge! You can't leave it up to him or you'll always get the short end of the stick. Judges typically award 50/50. It's not too late. It doesn't work that way in the UK, believe me I have tried and I was shocked! Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted February 20, 2020 Share Posted February 20, 2020 That isn't right. If you are working too, what choice do they have? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Blind-Sided Posted February 20, 2020 Author Share Posted February 20, 2020 1 hour ago, dramallama said: I responded to you in the other thread but my ex has his daughter for one day every weekend because that's literally all he does. I wanted 50/50 shared care as I work full time, my parents are dead - I need a life too - but he wouldn't do that so if he didn't have her every weekend I'd really struggle. Wow... that sucks, and I'm sorry. Being a dad for one day a week is just bad for everyone. It shows his kid that he really doesn't care, and I'm guessing as she gets older... she will just refuse to go to him. I'm hoping he at least is paying a good chunk of support. Despite what my ex thinks... I can't imagine not wanting to be part of my kid's life. Take yesterday for example. My 8yo had bad stomach pain, and the school nurse called me and said... "your daughter said you were home, and could probably come get her". (Even my kids know daddy will come to the rescue) I am fortunate in that... when I'm not traveling... I don't have to punch a clock at an office. (I go in, maybe one day for meetings) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
dramallama Posted February 20, 2020 Share Posted February 20, 2020 In good news the guy I'm currently seeing is a doting daddy and makes much more effort with his daughter - tick 😉 Link to post Share on other sites
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