Gaeta Posted October 29, 2019 Posted October 29, 2019 Then there is no problem. You want to give him the benefit of the doubt for every issue you've brought up. You are not at all bothered by his numerous dysfunctions and character defects, so I see no problem! Go and be happy! Enjoy the drama!
Gaeta Posted October 29, 2019 Posted October 29, 2019 Everyone keeps telling me he shouldnt prioritise me over everything else? He should NEVER prioritize you over his children. That's how it works when you date a father. 2
clia Posted October 29, 2019 Posted October 29, 2019 He sees them when he sees her So, once every two to three weeks then? In short, he contributes nothing to their day to day care, and apparently very little to them financially. Have you discussed with him why he hasn't stepped up like an adult to care for the two people he brought into the world?
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 29, 2019 Author Posted October 29, 2019 So, once every two to three weeks then? In short, he contributes nothing to their day to day care, and apparently very little to them financially. Have you discussed with him why he hasn't stepped up like an adult to care for the two people he brought into the world? They live about 10 miles from him and he works atleast 5 days a week. His days off arent always consecutive and if i have the same day off we go out
Gaeta Posted October 29, 2019 Posted October 29, 2019 Lucyjane: Everybody work 5 days a week, runs all day long for work, errands, appointments, the dog, the family, the garage, the dry cleaner, NAME IT. And they all find time to be responsible parent !!! 1
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 29, 2019 Author Posted October 29, 2019 Lucyjane: Everybody work 5 days a week, runs all day long for work, errands, appointments, the dog, the family, the garage, the dry cleaner, NAME IT. And they all find time to be responsible parent !!! But he doesnt live that close to her and has no car
Gaeta Posted October 29, 2019 Posted October 29, 2019 Have you discussed with him why he hasn't stepped up like an adult to care for the two people he brought into the world? OP has mentioned several times she doesn't care about the fate of these children.
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 29, 2019 Author Posted October 29, 2019 The childen are nothing to do with me. Ive never met them. Just seen photos on his social media
Gaeta Posted October 29, 2019 Posted October 29, 2019 The childen are nothing to do with me. Ive never met them. Just seen photos on his social media Every time you say that I lose hair!! if you date this man these children will be your STEP-CHILDREN. You will need to be a care giver to them, you'll have to welcome them into your home and be a responsible carrying and nurturing figure to them, you will have to act as role model to them!! They will be part of your life 365 days a week! whether they are in your house or not. 1
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 29, 2019 Author Posted October 29, 2019 He doesnt really have any money to give her. And i think she thinks he has even less than he actually does. He told her this morning that he had paid money he didnt have ro get his phone screen fixed and that thats why he hadnt been replying to her all weekend. I think he quite often tells her he has no money. And then she sends him some
mark clemson Posted October 29, 2019 Posted October 29, 2019 Her friend has messaged me again this morning it says..... And is it not abit out of order for her friend to be messaging me all that? Dunno. Not to be mean but wasn't she just pretty much telling it like it is? (At least from her perspective.) He doesnt really have any money to give her. So he spends money that he could be spending in support of his kids on hotel rooms and bars with you? You don't see an issue with that? He has fun; his kids get the short end of the stick. Am I wrong? 1
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 29, 2019 Author Posted October 29, 2019 She Dunno. Not to be mean but wasn't she just pretty much telling it like it is? (At least from her perspective.) So he spends money that he could be spending in support of his kids on hotel rooms and bars with you? You don't see an issue with that? He has fun; his kids get the short end of the stick. Am I wrong? Yeah i guess she was. And i dont think the children go without anything
Gaeta Posted October 29, 2019 Posted October 29, 2019 (edited) I don't think you realize the amount of work and money 2 babies require. Edited October 29, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator rude
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 29, 2019 Author Posted October 29, 2019 Its really nothing to do with me. We have only officially been seeing eachother for about 6 weeks
introverted1 Posted October 29, 2019 Posted October 29, 2019 How much support money does he pay her every month? Somewhere in this mess of a thread (or maybe the previous one), OP stated that the fiancee gives this guy money, although she never says what for. Honestly, these two (the guy + OP) sounds well matched. They both have their own best interests at heart and the children, the fiancee's miscarriage, and fiancee's mother's health are all inconsequential to them both. 2
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 29, 2019 Author Posted October 29, 2019 If the miscarriage is true then i feel for her but im having a hard time believing it as its only just come out now and thwyve been split for 2 months
dramallama Posted October 29, 2019 Posted October 29, 2019 (edited) Its really nothing to do with me. We have only officially been seeing eachother for about 6 weeksIf you want to get into a relationship with a parent, it is ABSOLUTELY to do with you to observe what they are like, what part those children play in their life etc. I do hope you're just planning a quick fling with this guy rather than anything serious, because for serious he's already shown you that you'll be left holding a baby in a toxic mess while he sews his oats. Enjoy your future... Edited October 29, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator language
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 29, 2019 Author Posted October 29, 2019 He believed it straight away though and apologised for her feeling like she couldnt tell him. I dont know why he believed that without hesitation yet question the child being in hospital
dramallama Posted October 29, 2019 Posted October 29, 2019 (edited) Maybe, because as per one of your other comments he was 'pushing her for another baby' i.e. they were trying for a baby, and perhaps she had some symptoms / mood swings etc that were consistent with early pregnancy that now he's reflected he's realised - he'd know, he's been there twice before with her remember...? Edited October 29, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator quote removed 1
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 29, 2019 Author Posted October 29, 2019 (edited) But he hadnt seen her in 2 months. She said it happened at the beginning of august so he wouldnt have seen her in about 4-6 weeks at that time Edited October 29, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator quote removed
Gaeta Posted October 29, 2019 Posted October 29, 2019 He believed her right away because they had spoken about having a 3rd child so they were certainly not using contraceptive and it's totally believable she was pregnant. It makes sense 2 months later she miscarriage. 99% of miscarriage happen before 3 months. If you miscarriage on your 1st month you don't know, you just think you're having a heavy period. She was probably just suspecting being pregnant when she miscarriage. He didn't believe she was at the hospital with their child because he is a lazy inconsiderate uncaring arse and it was convenient to him to not get out of the house that night. 1
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 29, 2019 Author Posted October 29, 2019 She said she only found out she was pregnant when she was losing it or she would have told him. And that she never told him she miscarried because she was waiting to tell him in person but they split up and she thought he would think she was trying to guilt him into staying with her
dramallama Posted October 29, 2019 Posted October 29, 2019 (edited) All of which sounds really plausible. Just because he hadn't seen her doesn't mean they weren't talking. You can tell someone's moody from afar. If someone tells you they're nauseous, gone right off something they usually enjoy - later when you know they're pregnant, you're going to say 'ohhhhh!' about those things, too. I found I was pregnant just after my dad died. I had been saying how odd it was that grief was making me puke all the time. How I didn't fancy certain foods. That my period was late. We certainly had the 'ohhhhhhh' moment... She was worried and caring for her mother. I can imagine a very similar scenario to mine - 'isn't it weird that stress is making me feel.....' etc. Edited October 29, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator quote removed 1
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 29, 2019 Author Posted October 29, 2019 I would imagine if theyre talking everyday now even though they are broken up that they probably were then too
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