Author badaboombadabing Posted September 3, 2019 Author Share Posted September 3, 2019 To be honest I did push her away yeah. But over this time I realised I might have been too hard on my self in the initial post. I have a stressful job and she is in college.She is young and doesnt know how to be happy alone. So when i wasnt able to focus myself on our relationship due to my other problems she became scared I dont love her anymore and was gonna dump her even though that was not the case. And the problem was due to her being scared she started pushing, became needy and clingy. I did tell her many times that she should try to find a hobby or something because when she wasnt studying or sleeping her only form of entertainment was me. I kept telling her I cant be your everything in literal sense. And as time was passing by I was under more and more pressure because she kept saying she isnt happy , Im not trying anymore and she didnt even try to realise why am I that way or tried to talk to me about it. All she did was complain and cry when I refused to meet up because I wasnt feeling like it.(I would always try to reschedule or something because I didnt wanna meet up when I feel like ****) No I dont think you guys are right about her being over me.I know that when we met to break up all of the feelings were still there.And her friends and everyone told me she is in pain and suffering after a breakup that she didnt want things to end like that etc. So I dont think you can lose your feelings so fast after 4 years. I wasnt that bad to her as I thought I was. She shifted pretty much most of the blame on me and I believed her because I was in shock and didnt wanna lose her. I get it she is young immature and I believe her new relationship is a rebound, a band aid on an open wound. Because I dont think she knows how to deal with this. (Neither do I to be clear. This is also my first breakup like this where Im hurting)and yeah youre right about me being mad at her etc. Im trying not to be and probably wont be when the right ammount of time passes by. But right now feeling hurt, rejected, thrown away like a garbage is all Im feeling and no I dont think we will ever get together again. Even though I think the reasons we broke up were not that bad and nothing that couldnt be solved. But we still broke up, we are young, unexperienced, immature , had bad communication etc and all of that led to this. Im at the point where I think I have equal ammount of good and bad days as opposed to only bad days at the beggining. So I think Im progressing a bit. Do I feel happy about myself yet.. hell no xd I still feel like **** and bad human being. Do I wanna go into a rebound relationship just to ease the pain a bit... hell no Im gonna get trough this the hard way and becaome stronger (one can only hope xd ) And who knows maybe someday destiny will lead us back to each other but just not anytime soon . Because even if she would contact me if her new relationship fails I wouldnt be able to get over the fact she dated a new guy and we would never make it work at this stages of our lives. Im working on my problems and learned a lot from my mistakes but she isnt doing anything regarding herself. She just jumped into a new relationship and thats it. So yeah we wouldnt work. Dont worry Im not giving myself a false hope or anything. She will 100% never contact me and Im ok with that. I do wish her happines in life even if its without me. But I just dont wanna feel like this anymore and wish it would end already. Link to post Share on other sites
Maddie82 Posted September 3, 2019 Share Posted September 3, 2019 (edited) How could she know why you were the way you were when YOU didn't even know why? How could she talk to you about it when you just kept pushing her away and refusing to see her? You are pushing the blame on her and that's unfair. She cared deeply for you and only became scared and clingy when YOU changed toward her. In all fairness, i think anyone would get scared if their partner began dismissing them like that. Why didn't you attempt to sit down and talk with her properly about your issues? You can't seem to accept that she has moved on with her life. Edited September 3, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator quote removed Link to post Share on other sites
Author badaboombadabing Posted September 3, 2019 Author Share Posted September 3, 2019 (edited) We did have a talk, couple of times. I tried explaining to her that Im under stress a lot .She even suggested a break that I thought would not help us at all. Yeah maybe I am trying to shift blame back, I dont even know myself. Yea I cant accept it that she is already dating because I still love her. Problem is I dont even know whats true anymore So I guess Im trying to ease up my pain a little bit. What I hate most is that she wanted to break up on Easter this year but didnt , wanted to see if things could change. And they did I realised I need to snap a bit and show her I love her. Even though I did and she noticed Im slowly getting back to my oldself and trying harder she still ended things. Right when I needed her the most. If she did lose feelings for me why stay and not end it right then and there. Also when you look arround at what kind of people get second chances and partners that stay with them despite everything I still wonder how could she just not try a bit harder. Yeah I get it, she lost feelings so she didnt care anymore. I guess my point is yeah Im not even close to being over her and cant even look at myself in the mirror and telling myself :why didnt I try harder sooner and showed her I love her. Im a dumb son a bitch and yeah I did realise what I had and lost and I am trying to improve and be the best version of myself but how am I gonna ever be able to open myself to someone else. I dont wanna be left again by someone when I reach an obstacle in my life. Edited September 3, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator quote removed Link to post Share on other sites
assertives Posted September 3, 2019 Share Posted September 3, 2019 (edited) Your post is really quite infuriating and contradicts what you said in your earlier post. It sounds like you are just rewriting your relationship history to fit whatever narrative you have made up in your mind about your role in what went down that led to the breakdown of the relationship. What I hate most is that she wanted to break up on Easter this year but didnt , wanted to see if things could change. And they did I realised I need to snap a bit and show her I love her. Even though I did and she noticed Im slowly getting back to my oldself and trying harder she still ended things. Right when I needed her the most. If she did lose feelings for me why stay and not end it right then and there. Also when you look arround at what kind of people get second chances and partners that stay with them despite everything I still wonder how could she just not try a bit harder. Yeah I get it, she lost feelings so she didnt care anymore. Girl really can't win. Damned if she tried and damned if she didn't. She tried for AN ENTIRE YEAR and pretty much tolerated being rejected for an entire year. Also, too little too late. If you loved someone, you don't push them away until the verge of a breakup and decide to put in A LITTLE effort is good enough and expect them to stay on and continue waiting for you to come around. It is not. The relationship didn't die overnight. It started rotting from inside out over a year. I dont wanna be left again by someone when I reach an obstacle in my life. Also, stop blaming her. She didn't leave you because you had an obstacle in life. She left because you treated her like **** for a year and she finally had her heart broken enough times. Having an obstacle in life is not an excuse to treat a loved one like ****. You communicate and work together to overcome the obstacles and milestones in life as a couple. Then you'll grow together as a couple. Again, nobody owes anybody a relationship or a 2nd chance. Different people have different threshold for bs behaviour, plus some people have more respect for themselves and wouldn't stand for being treated like ****. That said, her threshold have been pretty darn high to be trying for AN ENTIRE YEAR to fix the relationship while you checked out and kept pushing her away. I mean, not many girls would hang on after being rejected for that long by someone who's supposed to be their romantic partner so there's that. But at the very least at the end of the day, she can look back and said she's tried. Edited September 3, 2019 by assertives 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Fekenaws Posted September 3, 2019 Share Posted September 3, 2019 "What I did few days ago was sent her a text explaining why i behaved the way i did and that im ok with her decision never to talk to me again and that Im gonna do what she wants." - For future gfs I just want to let you know this is an extremely beta and passive aggressive move. It feels like an attempt at a guilt trip. Just stop talking to her cold turkey and move on mate Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts