My gf is bothered by me doing sex scenes in acting projects.

[lurker74]

Oh no, my bedroom problems, which I am trying to work on have nothing to do with why I chose do this acting part. I chose it as a gig to gain experience, but also to make hopefully my connections in the business, etc.

 

Me choosing it was completely career based and had nothing do with performance problems for me in bed.

 

I didn't mean to imply that you were acting out (literally) fantasies in front of the camera. Maybe you are and maybe you're not. But from your GF's point of view, I would imagine it would be easy for her to compare your preference for sexual activity with your acting scene and find the whole thing uncomfortable.

 

That's more than speculation but less than an educated guess. Still, you just may not be compatible.

[NuevoYorko]

Oh no, my bedroom problems, which I am trying to work on have nothing to do with why I chose do this acting part. I chose it as a gig to gain experience, but also to make hopefully my connections in the business, etc.

 

What is the scope of the character you are playing in this film? If you are just a random figure raping a woman, this is not going to do anything to enhance your acting resume. And you have another pending sex scene coming up? That's not a wise path to follow if you are serious about working in legitimate films.

 

Get a new agent. You need better guidance regarding which parts you accept regardless of what your girlfriend thinks.

 

Me choosing it was completely career based and had nothing do with performance problems for me in bed.

 

Bad career move, for sure. Successful actors don't start off in "sex scenes."

 

Girlfriend-wise, since you are sexually incompatible with yours and she's constantly unfulfilled with your sex life together, it makes sense that she's not secure enough to handle your sex scenes. The fact that in reality they are NOT leading you on a career path to be a professional actor certainly makes it worse.

[elaine567]

NuevoYorko is correct, playing the rapist in some sex scenes sounds like a job no-one else wanted to do.

Be careful you are not just being used.

Yes you want to get into film making but you don't want to be the guy that will do "anything" for little or no pay.

Want a sucker to do this or that? Get Ironpony, he's your man...

Be careful.

Do you have an agent?

 

I get your gf isn't happy, but maybe she thinks you are being "used" too.

Edited August 14, 2019 by elaine567

[olivetree]

Why are people talking about porn and actual sex?

Did I miss something?

 

I was under the impressions this was just acting - not actual penetrative sex in a movie.

 

Anyway, I would never date an actor so I can see where she is coming from.

[NuevoYorko]

Why are people talking about porn and actual sex?

Did I miss something?

 

I was under the impressions this was just acting - not actual penetrative sex in a movie.

 

Movie sex is still sex even if it's not penetrative and nobody has an orgasm. It's acting and not "real" but if you're insecure in your relationship, you're not going to enjoy watching your partner fondling, making out etc.

 

The OP mentions nothing about the roles he is taking besides that they are "sex scenes" so we don't know much. Doesn't sound like there is much character development though.

[Els]

^Kend...it's from other posts he's made. Essentially, he has trouble performing in bed if the sex isn't rough and dominant (him domming her).

 

 

AFAIK his real-life fetish is the other way around (he wants his gf to be the Domme).

 

 

Either way, this whole thing sounds like a major cluster****, lol. Ironpony, I've heard nothing good whatsoever about your relationship... what do both of you actually LIKE about each other, besides the warm body?

[ironpony]

Actually I explained the sex scene to her since she asked exactly what it entailed and now she is completely fine with it, saying she was picturing something much worse, and didn't realize how much of it was faked with camera tricks, and left up to the imagination.

 

So now she's fine she says and relieved. There are actually lots of good things about the relationship, I only mentioned a couple of bad things on here for advice, but there are lots of good things and we have a lot of fun together, if that counts for anything?

[manfrombelow2]

The problem is not about you doing some sex scenes, the problem is about you doing it WITHOUT being able to hide it from your woman.

 

I have no further comments on this, because all mistakes have their consequences. Make sure you don't make the same mistake in your next relationships.

[snowcones]

Tom Hanks never did a sex scene but a horse got some action.

 

 

he did in forest gump

[ironpony]

The problem is not about you doing some sex scenes, the problem is about you doing it WITHOUT being able to hide it from your woman.

 

I have no further comments on this, because all mistakes have their consequences. Make sure you don't make the same mistake in your next relationships.

 

But I shouldn't be hiding things from her, and should be honest, shouldn't I? If I hide it from her, then she finds out I did the sex scene later, without mentioning it, isn't that more questionable?

[IslandSanctuary]

I know a lot of women aren't happy if their bf gets a lapdance from a stripper. She is a professional and in almost every case she wont have any designs on her bf. But she is physically touching and grinding on him.

How is the acting any different? Different people have different boundaries and if my gf was having dudes rub on her naked I'd look for another gf because that just isn't for me.

[Els]

But I shouldn't be hiding things from her, and should be honest, shouldn't I? If I hide it from her, then she finds out I did the sex scene later, without mentioning it, isn't that more questionable?

 

 

Of course you should be honest, just like you would want her to be with you.

 

 

Glad you two worked it out.

[ironpony]

I know a lot of women aren't happy if their bf gets a lapdance from a stripper. She is a professional and in almost every case she wont have any designs on her bf. But she is physically touching and grinding on him.

How is the acting any different? Different people have different boundaries and if my gf was having dudes rub on her naked I'd look for another gf because that just isn't for me.

 

Oh well I thought that there is a huge difference though, that guy's go to stripper's for entertainment, where I was doing this as a business opportunity to try to advance in my career and make filmmaking connections. So I did it as a career goal, not for entertaining myself, if there is a difference there?