Buffer Posted August 29, 2019 Posted August 29, 2019 R U OK? R U going to D due to the severity of the A, the years of lies, the total disrespect to you and you marriage. Not to mention having him in your home with your children! A one off or a ONS but the effort to collude over so many years for you only to be Plan B. Time for you and your children to sever the marriage to the his WW. 50/50 custody. You were battling illness and working long hours to have him come and visit here at work and home, only to have her confess her love to him. She is one cold dude. ‘You are my drug’ really? Good luck 1
Marc878 Posted August 29, 2019 Posted August 29, 2019 She chose to marry and start a family with the OP, is still married to the OP, and whatever contact with the ex provided her - it ended with no intervention by the OP. In other words - she STILL chose the OP. Thats right out of the cheaters script. 4
usa1ah Posted August 30, 2019 Posted August 30, 2019 Because people are capable of self-assessment and self-correction. A few other facts: She chose to marry and start a family with the OP, is still married to the OP, and whatever contact with the ex provided her - it ended with no intervention by the OP. In other words - she STILL chose the OP. Maybe there's some things they need to hash out, but there is also a lot to work with. There is nothing to work with if she continues to lie about the situation. Who knows, maybe her affair partner got tired of her again and dumped her a seconded time. Some can argue chose OP or stuck with him because of the kids. What ever we might believe, she cheated on OP with her ex. He knows it was a EA and more then likely a PA. If he chooses to get divorced because of her actions that is on his wife because of her actions. If OP chooses to stay then that will be a lot of work from both sides. 1
Author Beaver0273 Posted September 5, 2019 Author Posted September 5, 2019 Life just ****ing sucks sometimes, you know? 1
Buffer Posted September 5, 2019 Posted September 5, 2019 Life just ****ing sucks sometimes, you know? I am hearing you
mark clemson Posted September 6, 2019 Posted September 6, 2019 Did something happen, or is it just the situation overall (very understandably)? 1
Author Beaver0273 Posted September 6, 2019 Author Posted September 6, 2019 Just the situation overall. Haven't gotten anything new. I've tried making her slip up in conversations about it but she is sticking to everything she told me before.
Crazelnut Posted September 6, 2019 Posted September 6, 2019 Just the situation overall. Haven't gotten anything new. I've tried making her slip up in conversations about it but she is sticking to everything she told me before. This is your life now unless you DO SOMETHING. 1
IslandSanctuary Posted September 8, 2019 Posted September 8, 2019 Personally id divorce her. Inviting him to your home when you aren't there? The messages from him knowing how you feel about their relationship? Can you say DEALBREAKER?
oldtruck Posted September 10, 2019 Posted September 10, 2019 Personally id divorce her. Inviting him to your home when you aren't there? The messages from him knowing how you feel about their relationship? Can you say DEALBREAKER? IslandSanctuary: Are you going to follow your own advice? 6
crispytoast Posted September 10, 2019 Posted September 10, 2019 Don't know why you think setting down boundaries with a cheating spouse does anything. Once the physical affair starts, the only thing that matters is if you are going to live with it or walk away. Staying sends the message that you will stay even after infidelity. At that point, you have become your own tormentor. They didn't respect you before, do you really think setting ground rules will change anything? 1
oldtruck Posted September 10, 2019 Posted September 10, 2019 Don't know why you think setting down boundaries with a cheating spouse does anything. Once the physical affair starts, the only thing that matters is if you are going to live with it or walk away. Staying sends the message that you will stay even after infidelity. At that point, you have become your own tormentor. They didn't respect you before, do you really think setting ground rules will change anything? Once an affair starts the choice is not limited to accept it or divorce. There is fighting it. Setting boundaries is part of fighting an affair.
crispytoast Posted September 10, 2019 Posted September 10, 2019 Fighting? For what? Once the affair happens, you've already been cheated on. 1
IslandSanctuary Posted September 11, 2019 Posted September 11, 2019 Once an affair starts the choice is not limited to accept it or divorce. There is fighting it. Setting boundaries is part of fighting an affair. My personal choices in this instance are just divorce. Fighting it seems awful close to accepting it. 1
schlumpy Posted October 2, 2019 Posted October 2, 2019 I am very sorry to read that you have not resolved this yet.
Author Beaver0273 Posted October 2, 2019 Author Posted October 2, 2019 Had a health issue to attend to. Seemed more important to stay alive than this whole thing. 3
Honest_Interest Posted March 24, 2020 Posted March 24, 2020 Hey Beaver, If your still out there how are you doing? I was going to throw in my 2c worth and say check for all the messenger programs....( Facebook, Snapchat whatsapp etc.... they are better for hiding and chatting than straight SMS ( Using a few Musicman Basses myself).....
Honest_Interest Posted March 24, 2020 Posted March 24, 2020 Hope everythings ok its been a 5 months now 1
colingrant Posted March 26, 2020 Posted March 26, 2020 Quote He said 'kinda still in love with you'. She replied 'honestly, I feel the same way. How is it that we had our chance and basically blew, then ended up like this?'. Another she said something like 'you are like my drug. I can go so long not seeing you and I'm fine. But when I do I dont want to see you leave' . Others somewhat like that. Not sure what you're looking for, but the above text in bold is as significant a Nd incriminating as any evidence you'll find. You have all you need right here to determine the course of your marriage moving forward.
Author Beaver0273 Posted September 27, 2021 Author Posted September 27, 2021 Good news everyone! Kids are mine. House is mine. Truck, camper, and cabin are mine. Decided what happened was too much and filed. I even got primary custody! It's weird how happy I've been since the divorce was finalized. She still is adamant nothing ever happened. Funny thing, I ran into him at a work event a few weeks ago. Told him how he messed my life up because he was desperate for my business. He insisted nothing physical happened but one time and wouldn't say anything else. All in all, I feel great and happy. Never knew I loved boating until I bought one after the divorce. She always wanted one! I could have lived out the next 15 years married to her for my kid's sake, but I'm glad I didn't. They can see even at their young ages how happy I am alone now. 13 5
Just a Guy Posted September 28, 2021 Posted September 28, 2021 Hi Beaver, great news! Sometimes the gods smile on those who really deserve it! Have a fun life!
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