elaine567 Posted July 15, 2019 Share Posted July 15, 2019 She agreed with my sentiment, and also agreed it woud be better for the both of us to stop. So yes I initiated the break up, but I woud say in the end it was mutual, no? Not really. You initiated the break up. When someone suggests breaking up, the other will often agree as what is the point in continuing if one is not on board and wants to split up. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted July 15, 2019 Share Posted July 15, 2019 I guess there is a whole lot of resentment built up here and now she has found an excuse as an outlet for her anger. Did you date other women during the break up? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sobekhotep Posted July 15, 2019 Author Share Posted July 15, 2019 Did you date other women during the break up? No. I took the time to focus a little bit on my self. Travelled a bit, started taking photography more serioulsy, even got some paid photography gigs. And finally started doing my Divemaster course, one of my childhood dreams . Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted July 15, 2019 Share Posted July 15, 2019 well so she didn't listen, you walked away, then came back and she still was chewing your ear off for it.....dude get it together and just end it already. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted July 16, 2019 Share Posted July 16, 2019 Say immediately that its her problem and not apologize? I apologized and I said would not do that again. She called me names, and whole lot of other things. Well I guess that proves you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink. Why are you so scared to stick up for yourself OP? Is your self esteem that low that you will accept any kind of behaviour from her? Do you respect yourself so little that you allow her to disrespect you so much, and then you go creeping back to her to ask for more? If you don't respect yourself then who will? Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted July 16, 2019 Share Posted July 16, 2019 He doesn't stick up for himself as he knows he is "guilty" of the charges levelled, that is the problem. Fine to go on the offensive, but he knows sending those heart emojis to other women was a no-no, so he is keeping his head down instead. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted July 16, 2019 Share Posted July 16, 2019 I think you're doing all you can do, because as stated above, yes, you were guilty. That's not okay when you're in a relationship. Ah, well. She can't let it go and seems to be mining for further fuel. I think laying low is really your best option. She will either need to let it go and let you know that or go on about her life without you. You can't be expected to have to fight with her every day. Sounds like she already has access to your phone, so I mean, that's about all you can do to allay her fears, show her you're not hiding anything. If that's still not good enough, no point in going the extra yard to stay together, IMO. It is true that some people who are always suspicious are themselves people who would cheat if they could get away with it. They at least think about it and assume you are thinking same as they do. But it doesn't mean they act on it necessarily. Link to post Share on other sites
Maddie82 Posted July 16, 2019 Share Posted July 16, 2019 He doesn't stick up for himself as he knows he is "guilty" of the charges levelled, that is the problem. Fine to go on the offensive, but he knows sending those heart emojis to other women was a no-no, so he is keeping his head down instead. You're clearly a very insecure person who does the same things as ops gf. You're being very cold toward him and he hasn't really done anything wrong. It's utterly rediculous to be so bothered by the heart button on Facebook. It doesn't mean anything. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted July 16, 2019 Share Posted July 16, 2019 You're clearly a very insecure person who does the same things as ops gf. You're being very cold toward him and he hasn't really done anything wrong. It's utterly rediculous to be so bothered by the heart button on Facebook. It doesn't mean anything. I didn't say anything about what I think about the severity or otherwise of his "crime", but who cares what you or I think, it is his gf that is important one here, it is she who thinks he is "guilty", it is she he has to deal with. It really depends on the context as to how meaningful or not those heart emojis were, obviously to his gf they are not meaningless. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
usa1ah Posted July 18, 2019 Share Posted July 18, 2019 Hello every one, my first post here. And first I want to apologize if my english is broken. Although Im in my early thirties Im not very experienced in relationships or how to deal with certain things, hence seeking online forum for help. I've been with this girl for 2 years, then we broke up, and after less than 1 year we got back together this January, and things have been going pretty good. But now she is really upset because I liked and commented some pictures of girls who are friends of mine on facebook. Not the "thumbs up" likes or comments, but the heart ones. Well it something that I sorta always done without ever thinking too much about it, with no second intentions behind it, but I can totally undestand the other person who am with might get pissed. But having said for a thousand times that I meant nothing by commenting with those particular smiles, and having said for a thousand times that I never ever had anything with those girls. I also told her i would stop immediately. But she refuses to believe me and says she can't trust me 100%... Now this is taking an emotional toll on me, and I seriously dont know how to handle it. In the end I just told to her that there is no point repeating myself over and over and over, and that within a day or two we should talk again. Of course i completely see her side, but it hurts being acused of being a cheater and a dishonest person. Its a heavy cross to burden, specially in the eyes of the person you are dating. What shoud I do? wait a few days? then what? What is the best way to approach her and make her realize I didnt do the things she thinks I did? Kind regards Cheaters often accuse their partner of cheating. Link to post Share on other sites
usa1ah Posted July 18, 2019 Share Posted July 18, 2019 I have no reason to believe she cheated, but I am aware that projection is something people do to shift blame and feel better about themselves. But thats the thing.. I'm with her so I trust her. I get that someone gets upset if their significat other likes or comment with heart emojis other girl's photos, but in her eyes the only reason I did that is because I want something from them. I'm trying to act normal now, do things I normaly always do. I sent her a good morning message like I often do. Im a sucker No one ever thinks that their girl, boy, husband, wife, gf, bf or partner would cheat on them. It happens every day of every week of every month of every year. She sees you as good husband material and is trying to settle down to you. She might love you in a way but she is not in love. How is intimacy between the two of you? Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts