loversquarrel Posted July 3, 2019 Share Posted July 3, 2019 With that many young kids, when does she have time to cheat??? Cheaters aren't exactly known for good morals so I'd venture to guess when shes home and hubby isnt. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted July 3, 2019 Share Posted July 3, 2019 Cheaters aren't exactly known for good morals so I'd venture to guess when shes home and hubby isnt. When my ex searched for and found strange on Craigslist, he met a stranger for sex while she was babysitting a napping child in that child's home. Link to post Share on other sites
loversquarrel Posted July 3, 2019 Share Posted July 3, 2019 Talk about leaving out the most pertinent information. she's got a bunch of young kids so yes she's exhausted and not feeling sexy. This is not rocket science. I'm glad you're helping out, but being with kids all the time is just exhausting. Facebook is all the life she's got time for and I agree with you that she's on it too much, but that seems to be her only contact with the outside world, but I would start by acknowledging that having a bunch of kids is exhausting and stop trying to minimize how much she does and validating her in that way and then asking her to stop being on Facebook when you are home and in the same room with her. Can't help you with the sex. She's exhausted and not feeling sexy. Also women don't give blowjobs their whole life. It's work. I recall waking up bright and early, getting the twins ready for their day, going to work, coming home, picking up, laundry, cooking dinner and getting the kids ready for bed. That was with no help (they went to daycare while I worked). I dont ever remember being to tired for my then future wife, and if I was tired I would stay awake. It really isn't that difficult. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted July 3, 2019 Share Posted July 3, 2019 I recall waking up bright and early, getting the twins ready for their day, going to work, coming home, picking up, laundry, cooking dinner and getting the kids ready for bed. That was with no help (they went to daycare while I worked). I dont ever remember being to tired for my then future wife, and if I was tired I would stay awake. It really isn't that difficult. Not the typical experience of a SAHM. It IS exhausting. I've done both....SAHM of little ones, and working full time outside of the home with little ones. Each has challenges but only the first one is very, very exhausting. Link to post Share on other sites
schlumpy Posted July 3, 2019 Share Posted July 3, 2019 (edited) Let's not take shots at his wife until there some evidence. She could be addicted to video games (single player) and while that can be a bear to overcome it's not cheating on your marriage. Maybe she's playing candy crush, minecraft or stardew Valley. Let's give her the benefit of the doubt. We don't want to act like a old western mob howling for the prisoners blood in front of the jail house. Best Wishes Edited July 3, 2019 by schlumpy 2 Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted July 3, 2019 Share Posted July 3, 2019 ^^^^^ possible. But that's generally not a reason to bring your phone with you into the bathroom. Not wanting your spouse to see what's on the phone could be a reason. You're right that this needs to be verified instead of simply assuming the worst, but IMO it does sound pretty suspicious. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
oldlion Posted July 4, 2019 Share Posted July 4, 2019 It's time to sit her down and tell her that in view of all the time she spends on Facebook, the lack of sex, her total disconnection with you and refusal to attend marriage counseling, then maybe it's time to talk about divorce. You need to tell her this face to face. Tell her exactly how you feel. Right now all you are is an ATM machine that is paying for everything and getting nothing in return. This is not what a marriage should be like. Whether she is cheating or not, it is very clear you are being cheated out of a life you deserve. Do something about it. I wish you well. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
DKT3 Posted July 4, 2019 Share Posted July 4, 2019 Why is it that some act like raising kids is like working 18 hours a day in the coal mines. Most of the MW cheating over in the other section have kids and they find plenty of time to cheat. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted July 4, 2019 Share Posted July 4, 2019 If she was working full time she might make better use of her time... and she might pay attention to her kids/home. But ignoring you and your needs seems to be her big priority... so there’s no reason to stay and take more crap behavior from her. If she intends to waste her life looking at the phone screen then divorce her and make her work to support herself. You can pay child support for your child - but she will need to get busy re entering the workforce. She got you to agree to pay her way and her kids way by working enough for two people... change that agreement ASAP. You’ve made it too easy for her to use and abuse you. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted July 4, 2019 Share Posted July 4, 2019 she will sit on her phone all day and I truely mean all day in the past 3 months the longest time she has stayed off of Facebook is 54 minutes unless she's asleep. I've talked to her about marriage counseling and she will not go. If the above two things are true, why does anything else matter? Blades of grass, I don't care if she's online studying to be a nun, this isn't a relationship. And cheating or not, you're being deprived of the physical and emotional connection marriages are built on. Yes, raising and caring for small children is tiring. But that doesn't give either partner the right to check out of the marriage and commit to an online-only life. I'd make a marriage counseling appointment and tell her in plain English what's at stake. If she still won't go, your next call should be to an attorney. If she's ignoring you, she's not paying attention to the kids either. Start keeping notes, document everything... Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
Maddie82 Posted July 4, 2019 Share Posted July 4, 2019 She takes her phone in the bathroom for long periods of time. There is your answer. She is cheating, at least emotionally anyway. Time to get tough. Get the evidence first and confront her. She will likely throw it back on you because you went through her phone but it's a tactic, a go-to defense mechanism. Don't let her break you down with that. Link to post Share on other sites
Maddie82 Posted July 4, 2019 Share Posted July 4, 2019 With that many young kids, when does she have time to cheat??? Everyone has time to have an emotional affair. She spends all day on her phone. If its a physical affair then she can easily ask a friend or neighbor to watch the kids for half hour or so while she 'pops to the shops' Nothing is impossible just because you got kids. Link to post Share on other sites
LoveFiend Posted July 4, 2019 Share Posted July 4, 2019 You know what people get tired of each other after so long, its a perfect human reaction thats why after just a couple years of marriage I went on to my 2nd wife. My ex-wife had 4 husbands before me and a few boyfriends it was all cool. It may be time to think about getting a new wife. Im on my 2nd wife, but I would love to have at least 5 of them in a lifetime. I have known men and women who have been married 5+ times in there life. Things just get old after a while. Link to post Share on other sites
Maddie82 Posted July 4, 2019 Share Posted July 4, 2019 (edited) You know what people get tired of each other after so long, its a perfect human reaction thats why after just a couple years of marriage I went on to my 2nd wife. My ex-wife had 4 husbands before me and a few boyfriends it was all cool. It may be time to think about getting a new wife. Im on my 2nd wife, but I would love to have at least 5 of them in a lifetime. I have known men and women who have been married 5+ times in there life. Things just get old after a while. What a tragic and selfish lifestyle. Not everyone gets tired of their SO after so long. Most people have long and healthy marriages to their SO for the rest of their lives. People who get bored and change their spouses like they change their clothes don't have a very fulfilling life. People with multiple wives/husbands is very off-putting to future partners. Edited July 4, 2019 by Maddie82 Link to post Share on other sites
loversquarrel Posted July 4, 2019 Share Posted July 4, 2019 Not the typical experience of a SAHM. It IS exhausting. I've done both....SAHM of little ones, and working full time outside of the home with little ones. Each has challenges but only the first one is very, very exhausting. On my days off they didn't attend daycare so I've experienced both sides of this and I can fully assure you it was much more exhausting when I had to go to work on top of it. Link to post Share on other sites
loversquarrel Posted July 4, 2019 Share Posted July 4, 2019 Why is it that some act like raising kids is like working 18 hours a day in the coal mines. Most of the MW cheating over in the other section have kids and they find plenty of time to cheat. Lol!!! Eactly!! Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted July 4, 2019 Share Posted July 4, 2019 She takes her phone in the bathroom for long periods of time. There is your answer. She is cheating, at least emotionally anyway. Time to get tough. Get the evidence first and confront her. She will likely throw it back on you because you went through her phone but it's a tactic, a go-to defense mechanism. Don't let her break you down with that. Well, she actually could just use the 15 minutes in the bathroom as an escape from the kids, so she stretches it out as long as she reasonably can. She could be reading the news on her phone for all we know. Link to post Share on other sites
DKT3 Posted July 4, 2019 Share Posted July 4, 2019 True, but coupled with what else he has said, unlikely 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Maddie82 Posted July 4, 2019 Share Posted July 4, 2019 Well, she actually could just use the 15 minutes in the bathroom as an escape from the kids, so she stretches it out as long as she reasonably can. She could be reading the news on her phone for all we know. She's on her phone ALL DAY on Facebook. Sounds to me like she's just igoring the kids. Everything the op has describred points to an emotional affair. And how would you explain the message she received from a guy calling her a homewrecker? Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted July 4, 2019 Share Posted July 4, 2019 She's on her phone ALL DAY on Facebook. Sounds to me like she's just igoring the kids. Everything the op has describred points to an emotional affair. And how would you explain the message she received from a guy calling her a homewrecker? I was really just playing devil's advocate. Link to post Share on other sites
Poutrew Posted July 4, 2019 Share Posted July 4, 2019 She's on her phone ALL DAY on Facebook. Sounds to me like she's just igoring the kids. Everything the op has describred points to an emotional affair. And how would you explain the message she received from a guy calling her a homewrecker? Yep. While she is taking a time out from the kids, recharging her batteries with some flirty banter via face book, the little one took only 3 minutes to drown in the kiddie pool... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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