pepperbird Posted June 17, 2019 Share Posted June 17, 2019 op, if she is this impractical- an I'll even go as far as to say spoiled- that she wants you to spend thousands for a wedding redo, then that doesn't bode well for your future. Your wedding is just one day. After that, you've got the rest of your lives together. You two are going to have to find a way to come to agreements over money, and if her way of addressing the problem is to throw a temper tantrum like a child and threaten to divorce if she doesn't get her way, then I predict that you will soon be one very unhappy man. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted June 17, 2019 Share Posted June 17, 2019 pyruvate What do you get out of remaining married to this woman? You live apart. You don't have sex but because you are married you can't have sex with somebody else. She's all about your money & doesn't seem to care about you. She's blackmailing you. Seriously, what is the upside for you? Link to post Share on other sites
heartwhole2 Posted June 17, 2019 Share Posted June 17, 2019 Is it possible she is using the wedding day mishaps as an excuse to avoid moving to be with you or having sex with you? I would think long and hard about what married life with this woman will be like. You should be married to someone who adores you, who can't wait to be with you. Or perhaps I am imposing my cultural norms onto yours, I don't know. But if she is willing to wait years before living with you as man and wife, I worry that she will not put that much into your marriage once you are together either. For now, she has a convenient situation where you send money and she gets to live life as usual. Link to post Share on other sites
Beendaredonedat Posted June 17, 2019 Share Posted June 17, 2019 Added to this, my wife also has a $ 25000 debt from before we got married that I have decided to help pay off Uhm, I think your wife will not get a divorce until after you pay off her loan. I haven't read any other replies so sorry if this has been said but your wife sounds like a user and a high maintenance drama queen. She wants a divorce if you don't spend thousands of more dollars on another wedding? Unbelievable ! How well do you know this woman? Was this an arranged marriage? Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted June 24, 2019 Share Posted June 24, 2019 No, you are not being a jerk, you are being responsible. If you were willing to pay for all sorts of other things, but just not that, it might be different, but I can see that you have already supported her a lot financially. I can understand that your wife might have felt that the wedding was not as she wanted it and that she has not got happy memories of it. But, she has married you and you matter too. Personally, at this stage where you are struggling financially to help her come to your country and to support her, I think she is being greedy. To say, if she doesn't have this, she will get divorced, is blackmail. What have you spent on her so far and what has she spent on you? I know it is not all about money, I would just like to see if there has been an imbalance here. Why not say that you could have the redo later and that she could contribute half the cost? If she is not willing to do this, then no redo. By the way, if you have not consummated the marriage, then you are not really married and can annul this relationship. She would have no claim on you or your money - best way out if you ask me! I get the feeling you have been giving in to this woman for a while now. If she gets divorced because she can't have a redo any time soon, then it shows how little she cares about you and your feelings. Any decent partner would be doing her best to minimise what she was costing you and to avoid putting extra financial pressure on you. Why not suggest that when you are both settled in your country and are financially stable, you both have a special weekend away somewhere and exchange rings again, just the two of you. Find a beautiful place that you both love and make some new memories there. Link to post Share on other sites
michzz Posted June 25, 2019 Share Posted June 25, 2019 pyruvate, I'm sorry to tell you but if the mariage hasn't been consummated then it isn't a real marriage. You don't need a divorce. You can get an 'annulment' based on the fact that it hasn't been consummated. You need to talk to a solicitor/lawyer and get yourself out of this situation, it seems all wrong to me. Sorry. x ^^^^^^^^^^^ This! You're being made into a chump. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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