Most beautifull woman

[traditional]

I have been stalking the hospital emergency unit now few days in search of the nurse of my dreams. I have some music on cd that I compiled for her after I went to see her last Friday on false pretences. I have her name but nothing else. I think offering her the music makes it easier for me to give her my contact number. Last Friday when I was there I was not comfortable to ask for her number, that I think from experience is suicide/sudden death. If she refused then I cannot go back and ask again nor bring up related subjects when I see her-so from then on it stops at "hi how are you" also giving lady your number is preferable I think because if she don't text or call then its better to trust her on that decision-which is for a good reason, also to never bring up that subject.

 

 

I don't find her every time I go there, I was considering to go to their admin offices and try get her contact details, but I am happy I didn't as it would be going to far. The more I go there, the more doubtful I get, there is no way to get any info about her. I think too much into it now and I have to remind myself that contrary to my wishes, I am not going to pursuing her romantically, I want friendship-but that also seems almost senseless-its not what I really want, and by principle I don't keep women friends.

 

 

I consider giving up everything, but I keep thinking about her all my wake moments-all day long and it may become an obsession. Thinking about her makes me feel somewhat happy/ dreamy and less caring about my huge bag of issues. I simply cannot keep going back to the hospital everytime, stalking the place. It is quickly becoming awkward and numbing.

 

 

What else doe one do?

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

Your behavior is very abnormal and this is creepy. Leave her alone. Stop stalking her.

[traditional]

By stalking, I mean I go there to find her and make friendship-properly by giving her music and see if we can exchange contact details, if she agrees. The problem is since I do not have the rosters for shifts, I end up going there when she is not on duty. I do not want to ask people there about her.

Ok, I agree, it may be creepy. I will not go back there again, its much easier and a relieve, it costs me too much anxiety to go there in the hope to see her and get her number or give her mine or if she will even be interested. I have no information about her apart from her name and family name which she told me. I do not know if she is married with kids or in a stable relationship or with someone -one of which is the case most definitely.

 

 

I don't want to be creepy, I would like to have her at least as friend in my life or maybe a good acquaintance. This is because I have unresolved issues in my life, it would just be too complicated to try and pursue her romantically. I do not feel highly sexual or lusty about her-ok not in the usual manner. I think if I just had lust, this would be over and done with because I would be indifferent about her, it would be easy.

 

 

Thanks for all the commentary,

[Deya]

if you felt such a strong feeling, maybe, it is a sign, and she is your soul mate? why don't we accept signs the life gives us? my advice: if you cannot get her out of your head, go to this hospital again to see her and just get acquainted. what's next? The time will show, but do not insist on her.

[Burning]

My friend. All you are gonna end up doing is getting hurt or hurting her.

 

She is not your woman. You have no right, per any god, to watch her like you are. You have no business being at her place of work. You have no right nor business to provide her with music CD or anything of the like.

 

You are being disrespectful with your actions. If she were to discover your behavior she would not want to be friends.

 

Do yourself a favor and stay away. You do yourself harm otherwise. Find a therapist who can help you.

[traditional]

The fact that I m on this platform means something was wrong with this whole setup since that Friday. It is all strange including my behavior. Please comment me on the music cd idea its original, how else would you approach someone to be friendly.

 

 

Never wanted to hurt the lady, I decided I will not go back there, it is tiresome. I even though I get the strong urge to see her, I also hope her image in my mind is not devily.

I seriously don't want to discuss this with anyone not even a therapist. I tried talking to a friend since childhood because I trust him with my life and his best advise was that I am jut f....d whichever way I want. I will indeed smoke something and sleep try forget.

 

 

Thanks for all the good advise.

[mrs rubble]

Do not give her the CD. Do not visit her at work and do no try and get details out of hospital admin as they're not allowed to give out details. you'll just end up looking like a fool.

Have you tried looking her up on social media? It might help you to get over this crush you have if you see her with a boyfriend or girlfriend or husband.

[Burning]

Do not give her the CD. To her she doesn't know you, you are a complete stranger.

 

How would you feel if a stranger came up to you - a person you have never met, know nothing of, have never spoken to expect in passing - and gives you a CD to be friends. Most would be extremely uncomfortable.

 

Her response when you called her beautiful of - oh okay - says you have already made her uncomfortable.

 

 

 

And kindly do not try looking her up on social media. Her private business is her private business. It is utterly irrelevant if she has a husband or a boyfriend. You are a stranger. You do not know her.

[GorillaTheater]

Please comment me on the music cd idea its original, how else would you approach someone to be friendly.

 

Do you like restraining orders? Because this is how you get restraining orders.

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

Do you like restraining orders? Because this is how you get restraining orders.

 

Exactly!

 

OP, I'm wondering if you have some sort of "diagnosis" that prevents you from understanding social norms?

[traditional]

The cd does not have a bomb, I could bring her flowers, a spatula, a ball whatever, the idea was just to hand her something with a note that I want to be friends and that way get my cell number to her. It would then be incumbent on her to use my number or not. If she did ok, if not then it would be as clear as day that it get a rest.

 

 

The reason I ended up stalking the hospital emergency looking like a blood junky is because I do not have her contact details or roster for shifts meaning I get there and she was off or if she is there they are very frantically busy saving someone. I do not do social media for whatever reason, this is far as I go with my filth. Plus it would still be creepy stalking if I look her up on social media.

 

 

I am not very clear why I wanted to know her as a friend if I don't want to have romantic or lust something, it may mean that I am coward, well ok.

 

 

I feel very strongly about her now, but I already messed this up. I hope she does not suffer any emotional or whatever harm and that she never knows this was going on. I will indeed keep the cd with the note and my number in the car until this situation fades from my mind. I think in a month I will see how I feel and then try something less creepy-al the creepy commentary really made me question my sanity-maybe brought on by issues. Again it is good to get perspectives of people all around the world.

[traditional]

I have considered looking her up on social media but maybe I really did not find out the truth, perhaps in an effort to keep this fantasy going. This thing seems very serious than I thought.

 

 

I am a bit dumbfounded, I have had instances chatting up ladies in awkward places without thinking twice and somehow succeeded getting numbers or interacted with them normally and I was always indifferent.

 

 

Maybe with age comes consideration. Maybe she was a better option for something to think about and admire than divorce, loosing everything, kids disoriented, thinning out, broke etc. However nice her image and thoughts makes me feel, its sad that its spoiled with this.

 

 

I met my wife at school, I don't know or can't remember how I managed that situation, I can only remember chasing her around school premises, there was the day she finally stopped running out of exhaustion, but I would like to think it was love. I married her out of jealousy, please don't blame me she was my first and I had to do something however tasking it was I stayed. But time and life wore out everything. I think in order for anyone to give relevant or non judgemental advise one must try be truthful, I stayed last two years not discussing anything with anyone about my life and it is depressing, discussing the nurse really filled me in.

 

 

I will leave the beautifulness in peace.

[traditional]

I am awake with million thoughts. As said before I am with my wife since I was in the last grade at school, through University everything, now 24 years. I practically grew up with her. Many things happen when you are stuck with one person in a relationship like that, its extremely complicated. Its even more complicated since as a man everything is your responsibility including being wrong always and carrying fault for everything along with providing everything for everyone.

 

 

For years I sacrificed my entire being for her, from feeding to supporting her and her family to keep her happy. All a while I live a life of a poor monk working away from home, I did this because I wanted to keep her and there were now 3 kids. Talking to someone about anything would just be looking for judgement.

 

 

I just became too tired. It became clear after my wife upgraded herself and got a better position at work that she really wanted a life where I am not in the picture and by then I also strayed resulting in a child from it. I am tired to feel guilty, I have done my part, I also do not want to blame my wife for all the things wrong in my life. Whatever the case may be, she deserves happiness, she also gave me her youth, many men challenged me with her and I would like to think only a few apart from the guy she is now seeing have indeed seen my sacred sites on her body whiles it was good and she was with me, she is mother of my kids, but its done.

 

 

I am currently not seeing anyone for the last year or so, and its out of choice I like to believe even though factors such s finances, downtime with confidence etc do play a role. more situation.

 

 

I really do admire the nurse, I have urgent feelings for her now and I wish it was somehow ok for me to court her if it was possible under normal circumstances. I will not go and try to see her, if I get into any trouble with this , I may loose joint custody of kids.

 

 

I think I will not research anything about her also, I prefer to remember her image and how it feels and stop at that.

[basil67]

Please remember that your infatuation with her is simply objectification. You know nothing of her other than her beauty. You've fallen for her looks and not her personality.

[traditional]

It is good to tell here than people who hold you for blackmail on problems.

 

 

When I was courting my wife at school, I was not aware that she was out of school a year to give birth, and was back from that, she is two years older than me and got the girl with an even older guy, whom she was chasing whiles I was chasing her.

 

 

By the time I ate the apple I was hooked and didn't care about anything that may have looked suspicious to be involved in at my age. I was in love and was ready to accept the struggle. We continued this thing us three, I was plain just dumb, they were having fun sponsored by me. For my own life, I don't know why I was in that thing, I was blind, it was fashion for school girls to see older working men for niceties and money and keep a peer boy for the stupidness they have.

 

 

I was in perpetual competition with the older mechanic guy, I wanted to outsex him and show her, but I think the reason I outstayed him contrary to my believe that I won, was that he simply found another younger girl, my wife stayed with me because she had a child and I seemed best choice.

 

 

I cannot remember a time I felt or see myself being in love or feel belonging or happy, I always made sure everyone else is happy, never satisfied with my wife never sure, always jealous looking out for men around, working hard to make sure I keep her. Its seriously a lot.

 

 

I now realize I never really felt any love or being accepted genuinely because I am, I always paid. Now I am almost useless, lost weight, everything wrong , but I don't want to be in a relationship or being married or run around girls and women. I want to rest. It feels like I was in a zoned out state, its like now I hear melodies and all instrumentation in music, see things in a funny light. I know all this explains nothing about the turmoil with the nurse lady, she is a pleasant thought and I follow advise here not to disturb her life.

[schlumpy]

This lady is the most beautiful woman on earth. I could not help myself staring at her. I did not feel the usual lust or want to get her number or anything of that like. Has anyone experienced this.

 

Happens to everyone, probably some more than others. I've never been sure what is that causes the attraction. It is often is one sided but once in awhile both people get clobbered at the same time.

 

There was a woman at work that would cause my pulse to rise whenever she entered the room. It was all on my part and since I didn't let on - no harm done. I never submerged those feelings totally but after a few weeks I was back to normal. I never knew what it was. Was it her voice, the way she moved, or the angles of her face? It will remain forever a mystery and what's so bad about that?

 

The problem comes in from the other person finding out and then using you as a thrall. That's going to leave a bad memory in your life.

 

Best Wishes

[schlumpy]

my wife stayed with me because she had a child and I seemed best choice.

 

I cannot remember a time I felt or see myself being in love or feel belonging or happy, I always made sure everyone else is happy, never satisfied with my wife never sure, always jealous looking out for men around, working hard to make sure I keep her. Its seriously a lot.

 

Many men choose the route of super provider in a relationship. A few of my friends would allow themselves (in my opinion) to be taken advantage of by their kids and wife for money (financing cars, house, etc) or they would be expected to put aside any personal interest they had in favor of what the family wanted to do. I'm not sure they felt unhappy. To them it was what their life was all about and it kept them busy. They felt needed. I felt it just got them taken for granted.

 

Think about doing something for yourself. Learn something new. Take up a hobby. There are lots of wonderful things in this world that will bring fulfillment with family being only one of many.

 

Best Wishes

[traditional]

Hi, thanks for the comments. I still think a lot about the nurse lady. I still am not convinced that I have the confidence to approach her. It frustrates me because I always felt radical and straight forward when dealing with women.

 

 

I thought a lot about comments on here about the sinister stalking thing. How else do people meet if checking out someone is creepy. I don't go inside the hospital premises, just drive by hoping to catch a glimpse if lucky, that should be wrong also, but every time I think I have enough courage, just get weak to do anything at all.

 

 

I think about all the reasons why I do not feel comfortable trying to court her, and I remind myself that the least I can do is make an exception to ask her for friendship, which also does not make sense if I have other thoughts or feeling about her. Also doing nothing at all, I think is a disservice to myself-I fear I will have a type of guilt.

 

 

The thoughts persist and I get tempted to look hr up on social media, yet I fear what I will find. I have decided not to do anything, except think of her and drive by the hospital until it fades.

 

 

Its just sad, why did I have to live all my life to experience this now. My friend thinks I should smoke weed then go see her, I will be more relaxed and not too self conscious, I smoked last night and ended up writing her a love song, I am glad I did not go stalking the hospital.

 

 

Its a really nice feeling/thoughts are nice-its almost like watching baby videos which are relaxing and funny, but this is more intense (I have never told anyone that I like babies and baby videos much less my closest friend-It will seem highly out of order, not manly or creepy), its a pity that I could not enjoy my kids as babies full time since I have always worked out of town-wife was never willing to move-I had to move twice and now work 500km from home in another town.

[traditional]

Sometimes I feel so angry that I decided against asking for the nurse lady number-more so because I thought if I did and she refused, its done, could never go back, not even friendship stories. I was thinking to take her music and that way get her my number hoping she takes it even out of politeness even if it ends up in the refuse and she never did call/text, would be better. But this is also difficult to do-creepy also it seems.

 

 

I am currently in no relationship per say, as marriage also is gone-only communicate with wife about most essentials and kids. I am solitary person, I really don't feel lonely, prefer to be by myself most of the time-as long as I have music, play guitar, age of empires strategy game for hours in free time, don't go out since I do not drink alcohol. Some think its boring that I must go out more and meet people, I feel its just too much unnecessary information just like social media-being on Facebook etc.

 

 

I hope I can forget madam beautifulness most soonest,

I met a guy in nearby town who used to play in a band same time as I was in another band-very good bassist-well traveled with music, suggested that we start jamming and teach some young people instruments so we play on weekends, that is a little exciting, maybe I can play the song about nurse with them.

 

 

I am somewhat glad I came on here otherwise I might have done very embarrassing things, or end up being hurt in the hospital-as one comment here implied-which in fact would be convenient.

 

 

Thanks again

[anika99]

This obsession with the nurse is nothing more than escapism. She is a fantasy that you indulge in to escape the problems of your real wife. You know it is all fantasy and that's why you won't look her up on social media where you might discover that she is married with children or you might learn other things about her that are not to your liking. You want the fantasy not reality.

 

You are unhappily married and instead of dealing with your problems you are fantasizing about a woman who doesn't even know you. The bottom line is that as long as you're married and living with your wife you have no business handing out your number or gifts to other women. You say that your wife is having an affair and that you yourself have cheated and had a child with another woman. Everything about your marriage is toxic and unhealthy for your children. Getting involved with another woman would just add more pain and drama to your children's lives. Besides, no single woman in her right mind would want anything to do with your situation. You should be working on fixing problems not looking for ways to get other women involved in the mess.

[preraph]

I'm glad you are going to start jamming with a band. This will be a good distraction and if you end up playing in public, will lead to meeting new women the right way.

[traditional]

Yes, I've thought about this strange fixation with this lady, the beauty. Deep depression runs in my family, possibly an obsession with someone who don't know I exist to escape problems. I don't have situation to escape from anymore, it is clear where I stand.

 

 

How I arrived at divorce is because I realized I could not blame my wife because I feel this way or my life is a mess or that I endured years of what I don't know how to articulate anymore or that she spoiled our survival etc.

 

 

I came here because I was confused with what I was /am experiencing, I thought someone could have well have a way to approach his situation and lady but I have since established that it was outside social norm, etiquette etc, I refrain from that behaviour, I now also know that having thoughts about someone you see is mental.

 

 

It really breaks me that I have to give up everything because its wrong, but it feel nice

[preraph]

You may well have chronic depression, but what you are showing with this woman is obsessive behavior. You got fixated on her just because she was beautiful and because it is taking you back or giving you an escape from some old issues. You have some lucidity into that, so I think it would be beneficial to see a therapist, get tested, see what's going on, and then get to the root of why you are vulnerable to fixation and obsession. If it worked, it would be a burden off of you.

[traditional]

I am glad I came on this platform, otherwise I would have committed major blunders that could have shamed me or be in large trouble. I almost felt defensive against most comments, but I realize despite small cultural differences, most people especially when it has to do with emotions and romantic behaviour are the same world over.

 

 

I have some regrets about when I had the 2 small opportunities, what I could have said or done or how I could have approached this for something at least to have worked. I was/am a coward, I brought this onto myself. Usually to chat up ladies is not a problem, but here I got infused with fear and insecurity and it turned into a freak show. I can't understand how I came to have these actions and thoughts about walking up to someone and ask to be friend-seemed normal, I should really go out, I am not shy person really, even yesterday at the shop and meat place I was asking for milk from two ladies.

 

 

I have a milk joke where I ask ladies for milk, they always say they don't have and I point to their bosom with my eyes, and they always laugh. It is a very risky and supposed to be rude, but since the first time I did this joke, nobody ever is offended, or angry, I still don't know why, some even strangely ask "where", I just add on that I feel hungry and sleepy. but the joke must be set up correctly with greeting first. I cant fully explain what setting which type of women etc, but it works with all even if they look agitated and busy. I do not know why it works if its so rude. sometimes, they even touch the bosom, perhaps to show there is no milk. I have never tried or unknowingly tried on a nursing lady holding a baby-too far, but pregnant ones really like it.

 

 

Aside from that, If thinkin about beauty is sinister, then I allow myself to be sinister for a while at least-long as I don't interfere in her life and I don't feel that I owe anyone or my soon to be ex wife not to think about nurse or have nice fantasies. I don't think this is enough to land me in the mental house or be a social outcast, I almost committed blunders which maybe even could destroy the remotest chance.

 

 

I must admit as one of the few things that I cared about to pray about, I told God everything-even if he knows already, I will not go to hospitals, I will not look up this lady in any way or form, I leave everything in his trust, should I maybe one day come across this lady, I will be ready to approach her in the most normal way.

 

 

thanks again everyone.

[traditional]

Since I brought up God in my previous post, I have convictions that I arrived at after thinkin about how intelligent, logically and practically and mostly mind-blowing the world is made. How from sperm and a jell egg a being comes with hard teeth and nails, which are white, black thin hair etc. The world is so perfect that even those things that seem cruel, evil and bad are indeed part of the perfection even genocide, war, serial killers included. But for survival of the human specie-we have to surrender most of our "negative traits" for the good of all-from state of nature to society.

 

 

I am almost convinced that as humans we are actually energy that came from a galaxy or planet with a compatible type of matter. We occupy a physical body, which is the type of matter needed to exist on earth.

 

 

I think that is enough to have some people want to intervene, but all I want to say is that the world is so perfectly made that I am convinced there is intelligence outside of this world, there is an energy-be it God, Universe, whatever it is-it is impossible for there not to be God.