Wife wants to be free spirited lol

[anika99]

First of all people in their thirties are still young!

 

Secondly the OP said his wife says that she wants to go to new Orleans or a nude beach or something like that. So basically she just wants to do something fun and adventurous and she's throwing out some ideas. OP come up with some of your own ideas for a fun vacation and see if you two can find something you both want to do.

 

Your wife has been tied down since she was still a teenager and she will be middle aged soon enough so I think she's entitled to some fun and excitement as long as it includes you. It will strengthen your marriage and add a new spark to it.

 

Women are different than men. A lot of women take on a lot of responsibilities when they are still very young. They spend their young lives taking care of their family and living their life for other people. When they get older they start thinking more about themselves and what they want out of life. It's also when their sex drive ramps up and peaks so it seems to me like it's almost designed by nature to be this way.

 

In any case nobody is laying on their deathbed regretting all the fun they had when they were still young and 34 is still young. If I could go back to my thirties I'd lighten up and have a lot more fun.

[FMW]

If she wants to go with you and if it's a one time thing, then there's no problem.

 

If she wants to do it without you, that's a problem.

 

If she wants to continue doing it, even with you, that would be a problem since it sounds like you wouldn't be into it and then she would be looking for other playmates.

[anika99]

And she is at the next PTA meeting and some guy is the back is passing his phone around, saying "I knew she looked familiar, hey guys check this out"

 

Flashing your boobs for beads... the whole thing sounds classless (in my opinion)

 

I find this an unlikely scenario. I mean is that how adult men behave at PTA meeting? If so it says a lot more about the man than it does the woman he is trying to humiliate. Also I highly doubt that people would find a photo like that shocking or exciting in this day and age. Lifting ones shirt up in a sea of women who are all doing the same sounds pretty tame to me. If someone told me they had a lurid juicy photo and then showed me a picture of women flashing their boobs at Mardi Gras I'd be pretty disappointed.

[elaine567]

I played in my 20's and when I hit my 40's those "Wild & Crazy Days" were over and long gone.

I'm glad I had them, but I wouldn't want to go back and re-do those things as a middle aged man.

 

But you are coming from a place of BTDT.

Big difference.

[Happy Lemming]

I find this an unlikely scenario. I mean is that how adult men behave at PTA meeting?

 

OK, instead of PTA meeting, substitute in kids' Soccer Game or kids' Christmas pageant or neighborhood bar-b-que or any other activity where adults gather.

 

It doesn't have to be a Dad or adult man at one of these functions (passing around his phone), it can be that "techie" nerdy kid down the block passing his phone around at one of these neighborhood "get together" events.

[Happy Lemming]

But you are coming from a place of BTDT.

Big difference.

 

Fair enough, but the wife did make a decision to become a young wife/mother and basically forfeited that time.

[elaine567]

Fair enough, but the wife did make a decision to become a young wife/mother and basically forfeited that time.

Forfeited her time?

She is now only 34 not 94, plenty time to catch up...

 

It is the risk one takes with making wives and mothers out of teenagers... not a great idea.

Edited June 15, 2019 by elaine567

[Mr. Lucky]

Fair enough, but the wife did make a decision to become a young wife/mother and basically forfeited that time.

 

Interesting how many of the young fathers still seem to be able to go and continue to live it up, while the often single "young wife/mother" has forfeited her right.

 

The OP's wife wants to have fun - with him. Not a particularly dangerous concept...

 

Mr. Lucky

[mark clemson]

Interesting to see the spectrum of views on this. What's "right" for one person isn't necessarily right for others. Freedom is a wonderful thing.

 

OP, I wouldn't encourage this on her part, but I'd suggest accepting it, going along, and having yourself some fun as well. Be glad she's making plans WITH you rather than intending to go have fun without you.

[DKT3]

Unfortunately the logistics of children limit your ability to be free. And yes that is a choice she made, that choice came with an opportunity cost out. Just has every choice we make in life. When you have children you cant just pick up go to Europe and run naked for months on in....maybe a week.

[pepperbird]

op,

it sounds to me like your wife is looking for a bit of fun and spontaneity. There's nothing wrong with that, so long as it's kept in perspective.

 

 

I would sit down with her and discuss this, Find out what sorts of activities she 's interested in, and think about some things you'd like to experience. See if you two can come up with a vacation plan that includes activities you have both always wanted to try. For example, if she wants to go to a nude beach, can you include that in your plans along with something you'd like to do but haven't ever had a chance to?

 

Just because you're a wife and mother, that doesn't mean you have to give up excitement. If the two of you can plan it as a sort of second honeymoon, it could even be really bonding for you.

[major_merrick]

Am I the only one here who isn't taking what the OP's wife said as what she is literally wanting to do?

 

 

OP, correct me if I'm wrong, but it seems like more of an illustrative example. She's feeling stagnant and boxed in by her life and her kids. Who wouldn't? She's telling you not because she wants you to take her to New Orleans so she can flash, she's giving examples of what she feels are aspects of being young and hot that she has missed. I don't see what she's saying as a 100% indication of unfulfilled sexual desire, or an indication that she wants to cheat or act immodestly. I suspect that's the wrong direction to take this. However - this issue has to be solved so the marriage can last. The majority of women won't stick around long if they feel like crap and everybody else's life looks better.

 

And people don't just decide to become nudists or flashers randomly. Unless that's something she's expressed curiosity about before, I wouldn't worry about it. So, it is time to figure out how to pull her out of the rut that she's stuck in. What activities does she enjoy? What are her biggest frustrations? What is sex like for the two of you?

Edited June 17, 2019 by major_merrick

[anika99]

No, you're not the only one MM. That's how I read it too. I see her saying that she longs for some fun and adventure, she wants to feel vibrant and sexy. She has been tied down since she was a teenager and now becoming middle aged is just a decade away and she wants to enjoy some of what's left of her youthful years. I didn't get the impression that she was saying that absolutely had to be flashing her boobs at a festival or being nude on a beach, she just threw those ideas out there as examples. She's really saying that she feeis stifled by all of life's demands and she just wants to have a taste of feeling free, of feeling like a exciting woman. If she wants to experience this with her husband he would be wise to join in.

[LuckyM]

nothing wrong with this, and I agree with Gorilla Theatre.

It is never too late for fun and getting nude! It might be a blast and the start of more. Those of you who have never gone to a nude beach or park don't know what you are missing. It is not about sex and it is frowned on, actually. Be discreet if you want to. You don't have to join the crowd. The wife is usually the reluctant one to take off clothes.

 

Cancun is a boat ride away from Tampa Fla.