max3732 Posted May 27, 2019 Posted May 27, 2019 I was on it for a year before and only met a handful of people in real life and aside from a couple of events. It's been a year or 2 since I was on and I'm thinking about what to do differently with my profile and messages. One thing I noticed is some of the same people here as years ago. So I know there are probably a lot of old accounts and I need to filter by last time on the site. I read my bio and to me it looks pretty good. Very upbeat and explains about my personality and interests. The pictures show me doing different activities and in different situations. I know I should update my pictures and bio but what should I do differently? With my messages I was usually saying something like "Hey Jennifer, great to meet someone else who enjoys reading (or whatever). Have you read anything interesting lately?"
Happy Lemming Posted May 27, 2019 Posted May 27, 2019 With my messages I was usually saying something like "Hey Jennifer, great to meet someone else who enjoys reading (or whatever). Have you read anything interesting lately?" If you really enjoy reading, how about meeting a woman in real life at a used book store. I always seem to get into a conversation when I visit my local used book store. Perhaps, I'm a bit tainted in my opinion of on-line dating. I did try it for a brief period of time and disliked it. I think my biggest complaint is waiting for a response or not getting a response. In real life, if a woman is going to reject, she is going to tell me fairly quickly. I know immediately to move on to the next person. Have you thought about trying more "real life" situations to meet people?? 1
smackie9 Posted May 27, 2019 Posted May 27, 2019 There's another thread going about Match you might want to partake in https://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/684505-disappointed-match-time-around
Author max3732 Posted May 27, 2019 Author Posted May 27, 2019 If you really enjoy reading, how about meeting a woman in real life at a used book store. I always seem to get into a conversation when I visit my local used book store. Perhaps, I'm a bit tainted in my opinion of on-line dating. I did try it for a brief period of time and disliked it. I think my biggest complaint is waiting for a response or not getting a response. In real life, if a woman is going to reject, she is going to tell me fairly quickly. I know immediately to move on to the next person. Have you thought about trying more "real life" situations to meet people?? Reading is one of my favorite ways to relax, but I haven't been to a used book store in years. Usually I buy books at the grocery store or online. Why did you mention a used book store as opposed to a general one? There is a small book store that opened up near me, but the problem is parking. I have given a lot of thought about trying more "real life" situations, but haven't had much luck. One of my hobbies is tennis, but the problem is at the advanced clinics it's almost all guys. I see the beginner classes have women in them, but the level wouldn't work for me. I also play on a men's league and all the guys there are married and I try to drop being single when I can, but have only had 1 guy try and set me up. Aside from that I've tried the cold approach with women I see on the street, but if there is someone I find attractive it's almost like I have a beautiful women phobia when trying to talk to her. I don't really know what else to do. Most of my time is spent working, with my family (parents and brother), or with guy friends. I don't know any single women or how to meet them other than this OLD
Foxhall Posted May 27, 2019 Posted May 27, 2019 I have found that elite singles and e harmony are better sites than match, for more genuine people anyway, too wide a pool on match, reduce the playing field 1
Author max3732 Posted May 27, 2019 Author Posted May 27, 2019 I have found that elite singles and e harmony are better sites than match, for more genuine people anyway, too wide a pool on match, reduce the playing field What was your experience like with elite singles? I was thinking of doing that one too, but it's a little pricey.
Happy Lemming Posted May 28, 2019 Posted May 28, 2019 I haven't been to a used book store in years. Usually I buy books at the grocery store or online. Why did you mention a used book store as opposed to a general one? There is a small book store that opened up near me, but the problem is parking. I don't really know what else to do. Exploit every opportunity to put yourself in a social situation with like minded women. Buying your books on-line is not going to do that. As far as "used" bookstores vs. "new", first off I'm cheap, second the women I have met at "used" bookstores were more my type, practical, "down to earth" women. Less chance of getting a "gold digger". Parking?? You are making excuses not to put yourself out there. Park a block or two away (if you have to) and walk to this new bookstore. Small bookstores are the best. You don't have to buy something each time you go in, you can browse and see if someone catches your eye. People love to talk about their favorite author or the latest great book they read. Personally, I've picked quite a few stinkers, lately. My book picker must be broken. What you do is exploit every opportunity in your free time to meet new women. Do you have a local bar/pub?? I met my present long term girlfriend while swimming at an apartment complex pool (where I was temporarily living at). I swam up to her, chit-chatted a bit and ask her out for drinks later that night. I didn't know when I went for my swim that day, that I was going to meet someone, but I utilized the opportunity I had put myself in.
CLS63AMG Posted May 28, 2019 Posted May 28, 2019 What was your experience like with elite singles? I was thinking of doing that one too, but it's a little pricey. Elite singles is a joke, I was on there a few years ago and there were no women on it. Even the site was so excited when someone actually signed up that they'd let you know in your inbox. Too bad 99.9% were free accounts that couldn't do anything. Pretty sure I met the only 2 paid women members on it before deleting. I've been on them all and that one was by far the worst and I live in a huge city. Eharmony was no better, it too suffers from "no paid members" syndrome. The free apps have taken their toll
Foxhall Posted May 29, 2019 Posted May 29, 2019 Perhaps it varies from country to country, In fairness in my experience, I have found elite singles ok, there are plenty of women on it in my country, and I would say if you chat to say six women on a particular day, you will get a first date with at least one, my only slight negative with it is that perhaps given its name, it tends to attract quite " career successful" women who are not always the easiest to form a connection with (for me anyway lol) I did get a 6 month relationship out of it though and the Asian lady I have met for a few dates recently came from it.
lurker74 Posted May 29, 2019 Posted May 29, 2019 Keys to online dating... First, be original. Come up with a story. I don't mean lie. I mean write your profile like a novel or a short story where you and your potential mate are the main characters. Honestly, if I read one more profile where the woman loves to laugh or the guy loves to travel or the lady that is looking for her partner in crime as long as he loves dogs, I might cry. Don't do this...you love to read, like some TV shows but don't spend a lot of time watching anything (except ____, of course), love to travel but haven't had as much time recently, which is why 2019 is a priority travel for you. You enjoy good food but don't mind dive bars. You are not looking for a hook up and just want someone with similar interests for good conversation over dinner and the occasional movie on the couch at home. Just please be creative. Otherwise you had better be super hot. And second, the first message. Understand that women - almost regardless of who they are - get 15 to 50 messages a day. It's great that she loves to read but you have to stand out. That usually means trying to make her laugh or think... Absolutely ask a question. Certainly base that question on her profile...but not on yours. She likes to read, so do you. But what else? Does she like to travel (they all do)? You decide you're not going in on Monday and have three days off. Are you reading in the mountains, on the beach, or just staying in bed until the police do a welfare check? No she gets a mildly funny message she can respond to and you have a built in follow up (what would you be reading?). If she's got pets in her picture, I have to be honest, I am only interested in your dog. Does he like fine dining or dive bars? Do not compliment her looks or her profile. You can send one follow up message, but it better be funnyish (i.e. where should I send the rescue team?). And if you get a few messages back and forth, ask for the digits. When you do, text her, and by the fifth message, ask her if she's free at a TIME and a DATE to meet for drinks or whatever. Get her OFF of Match so that you are no at the front of the line. Good luck. You're going to need it. 1
smackie9 Posted May 29, 2019 Posted May 29, 2019 If you are serious and going to spend the money, invest in a real matchmaker/dating coach. A human can do a way better job than an app. 1
Author max3732 Posted May 31, 2019 Author Posted May 31, 2019 Keys to online dating... First, be original. Come up with a story. I don't mean lie. I mean write your profile like a novel or a short story where you and your potential mate are the main characters. Honestly, if I read one more profile where the woman loves to laugh or the guy loves to travel or the lady that is looking for her partner in crime as long as he loves dogs, I might cry. Don't do this...you love to read, like some TV shows but don't spend a lot of time watching anything (except ____, of course), love to travel but haven't had as much time recently, which is why 2019 is a priority travel for you. You enjoy good food but don't mind dive bars. You are not looking for a hook up and just want someone with similar interests for good conversation over dinner and the occasional movie on the couch at home. Just please be creative. Otherwise you had better be super hot. And second, the first message. Understand that women - almost regardless of who they are - get 15 to 50 messages a day. It's great that she loves to read but you have to stand out. That usually means trying to make her laugh or think... Absolutely ask a question. Certainly base that question on her profile...but not on yours. She likes to read, so do you. But what else? Does she like to travel (they all do)? You decide you're not going in on Monday and have three days off. Are you reading in the mountains, on the beach, or just staying in bed until the police do a welfare check? No she gets a mildly funny message she can respond to and you have a built in follow up (what would you be reading?). If she's got pets in her picture, I have to be honest, I am only interested in your dog. Does he like fine dining or dive bars? Do not compliment her looks or her profile. You can send one follow up message, but it better be funnyish (i.e. where should I send the rescue team?). And if you get a few messages back and forth, ask for the digits. When you do, text her, and by the fifth message, ask her if she's free at a TIME and a DATE to meet for drinks or whatever. Get her OFF of Match so that you are no at the front of the line. Good luck. You're going to need it. Thanks! My profile starts like this "When I wake up in the morning I'm extremely excited to see what adventures the day will bring" and then I talk about things I enjoy doing, people that are important to me, then about my personality and finish with what I'm hoping to find. To me this seems pretty good, but something with my profile or messages is obviously not working. Maybe I'm missing the humor or challenge her aspect of the first message. What I've been doing is just asking for more detail about her interest, like if she says she likes the ocean I'll ask how often she gets out there and what she likes to do. I've sent a few messages with a joke or challenge and nothing back yet. Although I did get a few likes from women that are nearly 10 years older than me and have other things about them outside of my criteria.
Author max3732 Posted May 31, 2019 Author Posted May 31, 2019 If you are serious and going to spend the money, invest in a real matchmaker/dating coach. A human can do a way better job than an app. How do I do that?
Lotsgoingon Posted May 31, 2019 Posted May 31, 2019 The best step for online dating ... is to have some fantastically flattering photos of yourself. How are your photos?
Author max3732 Posted June 1, 2019 Author Posted June 1, 2019 The best step for online dating ... is to have some fantastically flattering photos of yourself. How are your photos? What do you mean by flattering? Since my photos were a few years old I changed my main one to be a headshot of me smiling. The others are various activities or me dressed nicely or in nice locations like by the water.
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