mortensorchid Posted May 26, 2019 Posted May 26, 2019 I signed up for Match at the beginning of the year. I'd been on it before but hadn't in a few years. Thought I would try it again just because. It was depressing as hell. I put in the description and what I am looking for very clearly (looking for a relationship not a hookup, etc.). What did I get? A few weirdos that's for sure : 22 year old guys who look like they are 9 wanting a fling with an older woman (I politely told them no thank you), a guy in his late 30s who started off by asking after the "hi how are you" portion when was the last time I had sex and when was my last relationship (I shut him up immediately telling him my last relationship was 4 years ago, it ended because he went home, went to bed, had a heart attack and died at age 44. Then instead of texting me on my phone number he messages me through the website asking if I want to talk still, I said no because you're 38 and should know better than that). And the one and only one I met was a complete wimp. We met for dinner (I chose the place because he didn't care either way), and he said he was divorced for the last 10 years. His ex wife took advantage of him and was off cavorting with her lover the whole time, they even bought a house together somewhere in upstate New York he didn't know about until he pulled his credit report last year. Never head a word from him again. I knew I wouldn't, he didn't have one aggressive bone in his body. Has anyone else ever had such experiences with Match in particular? After that one lousy date, I said NEVER AGAIN and just let it go. Makes me depressed still.
alphamale Posted May 26, 2019 Posted May 26, 2019 I've met come c:cool::cool:l people on match but they are few and far between
nospam99 Posted May 26, 2019 Posted May 26, 2019 OP, I always try to remember to say that I believe anyone's success with Match (or any OLD) is a function of their location. In any case by contrast with your report, I'm a male who has my height and my age working against me. Even though since I turned 65 my response from women on Match has (maybe coincidentally) gotten precipitously worse, I'm still doing 'better' than what you say that you are. You describe three unsatisfactory contacts. Is that all you got? Three in five months? Or are those just the most 'colorful' to share stories about? And you only actually met one? Do you think there might be something off-putting about your profile?
Cinnamon_Girl Posted May 26, 2019 Posted May 26, 2019 I'm not impressed with Match at all. I'm in my fifties, and mostly get messages from young guys who have a "thing" for older women, or maybe they're really just looking for someone to pay their rent. I like to tell them: "Why are you messaging me? I'm old enough to be your mother. Now, go to your room!" 2
nospam99 Posted May 26, 2019 Posted May 26, 2019 Different experiences for different people ... OP and CG complain about contacts from 'younger' guys, men 'looking for one thing', and wimps. I plead 'not guilty'. Though for all I know, I may be a wimp in the 'eyes of the beholder' i.e. a woman I date. I have to laugh at the 'younger guys' complaint though. At 65, I've only met three women older than me (oldest is 69 now).
smackie9 Posted May 26, 2019 Posted May 26, 2019 Women and men have different issues about OLD. Guys it's "she lied about her weight." Women it's "He just wanted to hookup." 2
CLS63AMG Posted May 26, 2019 Posted May 26, 2019 (edited) Match is garbage now, it use to be a great place just a few years ago, could go on 3 dates a week if you wanted or had the time but not this time around! I signed up about 2 months ago and have maybe had 2 short conversations with women and no dates. Also I am 38 so its not an age thing ^, the site has just gone downhill. Edited May 26, 2019 by CLS63AMG
smackie9 Posted May 26, 2019 Posted May 26, 2019 I dunno....sometimes I wonder if its a poor musician that is blaming his instrument. 3
Happy Lemming Posted May 26, 2019 Posted May 26, 2019 i like to tell them: "why are you messaging me? I'm old enough to be your mother. Now, go to your room!" Best post of the day!! 1
alphamale Posted May 26, 2019 Posted May 26, 2019 4 or 5 women that I know IRL are on Match so there have to be some decent women on the site
CLS63AMG Posted May 26, 2019 Posted May 26, 2019 I dunno....sometimes I wonder if its a poor musician that is blaming his instrument. And I would agree, except I keep records. I've met 51 women from match since 2014 and none this time around. My guitar is in tune.
nospam99 Posted May 27, 2019 Posted May 27, 2019 Since we're picking on Match ... and before I start my complaints I have to acknowledge that as bad as Match is, it's better (for me) than all the other OLD I've tried. And I'm still on. So I just finished 'screening' my Daily and Other Matches. As is typical, almost all are: - more than an hour away - too far - more than 8 years younger - having drilled hundreds of profiles, I'm not even going to check to see if they're seeking a man my age - within 2 inches of my height - another non-starter based on reading hundreds of profiles. It's not unusual to find women whose seeking height is seven or more inches greater than their own - haven't logged on in so long that the activity indicator on their profile is blanked out During the week, Match has online chat with someone on staff. Whoever they are, they will listen sympathetically to me point out that 'bad' matches are a waste of time. But nothing changes for the better only for the worse. The suggestions I've made include to NOT send me matches who are: - 'too far' away - my criteria is 36 miles as the crow flies - that includes Natalia who is a 65 minute drive. - who I've already contacted - who haven't got a non-blank activity indicator - who have an obvious indicator in their profile, most often age, height, or body type, that they wouldn't be interested in meeting me I've also suggested that they put the salary selector back and add a political one. And that they extend the activity indicator back to at least two weeks. Currently it's one week. You can't tell if the difference between a profile that hasn't been used in eight days and one that hasn't been used in two years. 1
alphamale Posted May 27, 2019 Posted May 27, 2019 36 miles nospam99?? you have to be more flexible if you want to succeed in OLD 1
The Outlaw Posted May 27, 2019 Posted May 27, 2019 They're all depressing. Meeting someone through a mutual friend would be better than meeting a potential psycho any day of the week. 2
nospam99 Posted May 27, 2019 Posted May 27, 2019 (edited) 36 miles nospam99?? you have to be more flexible if you want to succeed in OLD 36 miles as the crow flies, alpha. That translates to 60 to 80 minute one way drive depending on the layout of the highways. I picked 36 miles because it lets me compare Natalie to other women in the same 'search result set' (going all database nerd on y'all). Because of the actual road layout, 29 miles picks up the major cities within an hour drive. Combined with my other search settings, 36 miles gets 775 hits - WAY more than practical to deal with. For comparison to my location, 36 miles in NYC gets '2000+' hits. Looks like Match stops counting at 2000. Edited May 27, 2019 by nospam99
alphamale Posted May 27, 2019 Posted May 27, 2019 36 miles as the crow flies, alpha. That translates to 60 to 80 minute one way drive depending on the layout of the highways. I picked 36 miles because it lets me compare Natalie to other women in the same 'search result set' (going all database nerd on y'all). Because of the actual road layout, 29 miles picks up the major cities within an hour drive. Combined with my other search settings, 36 miles gets 775 hits - WAY more than practical to deal with. For comparison to my location, 36 miles in NYC gets '2000+' hits. Looks like Match stops counting at 2000. that sound reasonable
Cinnamon_Girl Posted May 27, 2019 Posted May 27, 2019 Best post of the day!! Thank you. I say that when it comes to online dating, the young ones are looking for a purse, and the old ones are looking for a nurse. I'm sorry dudes, but I'm not going to pay your rent, or push your wheelchair. I saw a t-shirt a while back that read "You've been a very bad boy. Now, go to MY room." LOL! 1
nospam99 Posted May 27, 2019 Posted May 27, 2019 I'm sorry dudes, but I'm not going to pay your rent, or push your wheelchair. I hope the bolded is a joke. Otherwise THAT may be the most frustrating age stereotype I'm dealing with. I'm one of the, perhaps rare, seniors who, other than walking instead of running so no more soccer, ain't in no wheelchair. My mom (still alive) and two of my grandparents lived into their 90s with no wheelchairs. The only wheels I'm interested in are mountain bike wheels so my date and I can get to https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/0/03/View_of_Lake_Awosting_From_a_Cliff.JPG/800px-View_of_Lake_Awosting_From_a_Cliff.JPG (about three miles in over rocky bridle paths from the parking lot and especially scenic in foliage season, another three miles on the path around the lake). 1
Cinnamon_Girl Posted May 27, 2019 Posted May 27, 2019 If I marry someone and one of us later needs a wheelchair, the other should certainly push it, and do whatever else they can to take care of someone they love and made a commitment to. I am referring to someone who is unhealthy and needs care now, and is looking on a dating site to find it. I am rolling my eyes over here.
Cinnamon_Girl Posted May 27, 2019 Posted May 27, 2019 I hope the bolded is a joke. Otherwise THAT may be the most frustrating age stereotype I'm dealing with. I'm one of the, perhaps rare, seniors who, other than walking instead of running so no more soccer, ain't in no wheelchair. My mom (still alive) and two of my grandparents lived into their 90s with no wheelchairs. The only wheels I'm interested in are mountain bike wheels so my date and I can get to https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/0/03/View_of_Lake_Awosting_From_a_Cliff.JPG/800px-View_of_Lake_Awosting_From_a_Cliff.JPG (about three miles in over rocky bridle paths from the parking lot and especially scenic in foliage season, another three miles on the path around the lake). I am 54 years old. I date men older and younger than myself. There are quite a few disabled men on dating sites who are looking for someone to physically take care of them. I used to work at the VA, and a lot of the patients there are also looking for a caregiver/girlfriend, and they seem to find them. I said what I did in a joking way, but is is an actuality. I am trying to have a lighthearted discussion about online dating. Let's not go taking things all personal. 2
nospam99 Posted May 27, 2019 Posted May 27, 2019 Let's not go taking things all personal. Peace. Though I hope that 'we' (at LS) all understand that frustrations with relationships do get felt on a personal level. 2
JuneL Posted May 27, 2019 Posted May 27, 2019 Peace. Though I hope that 'we' (at LS) all understand that frustrations with relationships do get felt on a personal level. Do you think your geographic location is the real issue? If anything, a man at your age should have a much easier time, as there’re (way) more single women than men in your age bracket. Plus you have the advantage of being a healthy physically active older man. If finding love is so important to you, why don’t you move to a midwestern city while you’re still not too old? 1
gaius Posted May 27, 2019 Posted May 27, 2019 (edited) There's a park in Sarasota FL called Sun'N'Fun that would be perfect for a guy like NoSpam. It's filled with older, active people who still have a lot of spunk. I know because when I was working down there helping install their new data and TV infrastructure I was stopped and verbally accosted by more than one 80-90 year old women who were rather upset that we were behind schedule. Go figure. Anyway, as smackie mentioned, OLD isn't going to solve any fundamental dating problems people have. It's just a tool like any other. Edited May 27, 2019 by gaius
nospam99 Posted May 27, 2019 Posted May 27, 2019 Do you think your geographic location is the real issue? If anything, a man at your age should have a much easier time, as there’re (way) more single women than men in your age bracket. Plus you have the advantage of being a healthy physically active older man. If finding love is so important to you, why don’t you move to a midwestern city while you’re still not too old? Wealth, income, and population density fall off rapidly the farther you live from Wall Street. I live 'farther out', 'deep' in the 'poorer' NYC suburbs. Most of the women whose profiles I see live closer to NYC and, when Match still showed income preferences a few months ago, said they were seeking men making more money than I ever did. Also, as much as I was regularly meeting women prior to turning 65, I rarely got responses from 'further in', almost always from my own area or areas similarly distant from downtown NYC. From these circumstances, I surmise that living relatively 'out in the sticks' is a significant factor though not totally 'the real issue'. Though I do indeed hope to find romantic love, my family and my slowly dwindling pool of friends in the 'still upright and breathing' category is 'here'. I don't plan to go to the expense and uncertainty of moving and give up non-romantic love to gamble on having better luck finding romantic love elsewhere. Nevertheless, thanks for your questions and suggestions. 3
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