Guy who approach but don’t ask for a number?

[chillii]

He talks to you to see if he wants to ask for your number.

So if he doesn't he's decided there's not enough there to go any further.

If he blocks you through the night later he's probably just trying to keep a back up just in case.

Sounds like you gave enough hints to me, if that doesn't get any action l think it's pretty degrading for you to persist and still throw a number at him.

[Ruby Slippers]

Should I wait 30 minutes when talking to a guy and if he doesn’t ask for my number take off?

Perfect solution.

 

Not all advice here is good. We are not professionals.

Understatement of the year

[Gretchen12]

how lame, if a woman says that to me I just blow her off or tell her I don't give out my number. i'd rather not date women that play games

 

When you ask a woman for her number you were playing a game?

 

How sad...

[Shining One]

Women need to stop giving out their numbers.

Why should women stop giving out their numbers? Many women have done so and received successful results.

[salparadise]

Right, that’s what I “would” do, give the guy my number, however on this forum I’ve read posts like, “well the guy didn’t ask for your number so he’s not interested.” What’s with the conflicting advice?

 

Well, as you've experienced already, opinions are often worth exactly what you paid for them. The traditionalists, absolutists, and black+white (no gray) perceivers rely on simplistic concepts (more comfortable, no introspection, thinking or deciding required), when the actuality is that people, society, and the universe are complex with few absolutes.

 

As Smackie said, there are any number of reasons why he might have not asked, and many of those are not about you. It's really not as simple as he wasn't interested, I assure you. For example, he could've just gotten some kind of bad news that knocked the wind out of him and he just didn't feel like going for it. Or maybe he's not Mr. Super Smoothie who automatically hits on everything in a skirt.

 

Bottom line is that you need to feel like you have some agency here. If you like him there is nothing wrong with taking some initiative. All of that rigid Victorian era gender crap is going the way of rotary phones in the 21st century. Consider what it means to have agency, and then adjust thinking and behavior as if you do.

[Rotaglia]

Don't get discouraged. Keep going out, keep giving out and receiving numbers, bring your charm and intelligence with you and the offers will come. Guys love pretty, smart, nice girls—chances are you belong to all three categories (and you should believe in yourself), so go for it!

[alphamale]

When you ask a woman for her number you were playing a game?

 

How sad...

 

I generally don't give out my number to random girls but i'll ask for theirs. if they like me enough they'll cough up the digits, if they don't like me they'll decline

[Interstellar]

I agree that despite all the clamoring by so-called feminists, men are still expected to be aggressive, risk rejection and close the deal by asking for the phone number. So much for feminism huh? Well, if the guy still hasn’t asked you for your number then you’re gonna have to help him. Simply give him your phone number and don’t forget to write your name, you don’t want him mistaking you for Anna the actress or Sally the gymnast or you can also say, aren’t you gonna ask me for my phone number? Put him on the spot. Then he’s gonna say, “Uh..uh...uh...(nervously)..yes, what’s your phone number?”

 

Then ask him when he’s gonna call you, then tell him the best time to call you. Hopefully, when you’re home and not while you’re driving home and about to make a turn in a very busy intersection. Safety first. Just be straightforward.

Edited May 24, 2019 by Interstellar

[Grey40]

A lot of guys are just wimps these days and are afraid to get rejected that’s the bottom line. So they could really like you but just dropped the ball. OR they decided they didn’t like you enough to get the number. But most guys wouldn’t spend a really long time talking to one girl if they weren’t into it. I know I wouldn’t: I’d end the conversation somewhat quickly if I wasn’t romantically interested. I wouldn’t continue to ask questions and keep it moving.

 

So if these guys are spending a good amount of time trying to get to know you and then aren’t getting the number, it’s probably them being too scared or inexperienced to do so. And you’re right, if you want someone confident and secure with themself, then don’t worry about those guys because you wouldn’t be into them anyway.

[Curiousroxy86]

Sounds like you gave enough hints to me, if that doesn't get any action l think it's pretty degrading for you to persist and still throw a number at him.

 

I wholeheartedly agree smh

[stillafool]

I think women should give out their numbers and do the calling because from what I'm reading around here they are always the ones who want contact. Maybe that would relieve some of their anxiety if they can call and text the guy first.

[elaine567]

Grey40 wrote:

"So if these guys are spending a good amount of time trying to get to know you and then aren’t getting the number, it’s probably them being too scared or inexperienced to do so. And you’re right, if you want someone confident and secure with themself, then don’t worry about those guys because you wouldn’t be into them anyway."

 

Good point.

[ChatroomHero]

I wonder if people have ever told you that you are hard to read. I have hit on women and enjoy spending time with them, but not asked for a number because I felt any good indicator of interest was met with a comment or reaction that went the other way.

 

 

I can think of two women that asked me after a long time why I never asked them out. I pointed out I was hitting on them pretty hard and they did not seem receptive at all and their response was something along the lines of, "yeah, I probably didn't make it easy" or "Yeah, I can see why you thought I wasn't interested". I even had one that asked me why we never went out and I reminded her that I did ask her out and she flat blew me off. She agreed and said she wasn't sure why she did that but recognized she did. I have had women that I seemed to hit it off with, I mentioned I play a lot of baseball and their response was, "God, I hate baseball. Baseball players are so cocky. I would never watch a game". The interest seemed like it was there, but since she was so against something I was into and really liked, it was like immediately I figured we would not be a fit. Everything else was fine but she was so overboard at how much she disliked something I spent a lot of time on, what was the point of going any farther?

 

 

So if you have medium to low interest and put out conflicting signals, or you keep your interest close, you might think you are giving indications of interest in your own mind but come across as not interested. I do it myself. If I am on the fence I will give out signals of interest but I am conscious of not over stating my interest. Women get confused by that. The last girl I dated was the same, she was very interested and I was interested but not completely sold. We had a good date, great conversation, got along well, but she told me she was thrown off by me not making a move. In my mind I wanted to see her again but it was a Tuesday night, I had to work the next morning, and I just wasn't feeling that "she's it, I gotta have her now!". I was more in the mood that I liked her and would like to see her again later in the week and see where it goes on date #2. I recognized I was giving her mixed signals despite being direct that I was interested and wanted to see her again.

 

 

You do have a simple solution though to get to the bottom of it and not have to be the one to 'give your number'. Simply say something like, "We've been hanging out all night. Are you ever going to ask for my number?". The guy will either ask for it (and I bet he'd tell you he was going to ask but you are hard to read), or he will tell you he was enjoying the conversation but not interested in dating, etc.

[SmartDude]

This is a classic case of how women don't get the man they want. They are passive and get what comes to them. It is sad too, because if they could use their intuition and seize these moments they would be with much better guys.

 

 

So what if you blurt out "Hey here is my number"? Is it that bad? What if he is usually a high confidence guy but your beauty knocked him out for a moment and he became a social retard? Not the first time this has happened.

[Woggle]

These days if women are genuinely interested in a man they are going to have take some initiative and go for it.

[alphamale]

These days if women are genuinely interested in a man they are going to have take some initiative and go for it.

 

I get hit on by women IRL but not on OLD

[Woggle]

I get hit on by women IRL but not on OLD

 

So do I. I am married so of course I don't do OLD but if I was single I would prefer the old fashion way.

[PRW]

You go over there, talk to her, and you just plant a seed, then walk away. I do this stuff often. Talk a girl up and then just walk away. Good chance you will see her again anyway. Just did this a week ago to a pretty girl that works down the street from me. Chatted her up, made a strong first impression, and then let her go. Since she works nearby, I will see her again.

I guess that is how it works for me too. I don't do the "quick pickup" at the bar kind of stuff. But I don't do it to impress them, I do it to see if they impress me. I want to find out if I actually want to invest the time/effort/money to even have that first date. I judge their demeanor and how they interact with me to see if any interest is mutual,...if not I don't go any further. It avoids a lot of awkwardness and discomfort on both sides that way.

[stillafool]

These days if women are genuinely interested in a man they are going to have take some initiative and go for it.

 

You're right but here's the thing - women don't take rejection well at all. Plus they want the guy to pursue them to make them feel wanted and special. Yeah, I know.

[Foxhall]

Not sure if I can add anything different here,

 

a guy not asking for the number

 

• they are not interested
  
• they were merely conversing to pass the time at the event
  
• they were practicing their communication skills
  
• they do like you but are too shy to ask- one giant step to chat to you- to also ask for your number may be a bridge too far
  

,

 

could be any of the above,

 

if you put two introverts together it is likely swapping number will be a problem,

 

you have to trust your gut instinct, in a random situation like that, I might ask the girl for her number about 1 in every 5,(most times Id be a little cautious would hold back)

 

it all come down to instinct really, if you like the bloke and sense he is shy well I see no harm in you initiating the number swap,

 

it can be a tricky one, sometimes your instinct will be wrong (guy or girl) but dont worry about that it all helps to improve at feeling more comfortable at the dating game.

[Andy_K]

If a guy spends the whole evening chatting and being touchy-feely with you, he's neither shy nor afraid of rejection. He's either just after sex so he has no interest in getting your number, or else he's getting no positive signals from you so eventually gives up.

[frus69]

This guy is obviously not interested in seeing you again or he will ask for your number. He wasnt shy to touch you, it's ridiculous to say he got shy when it comes to your number.

[greenlights0000]

If a guy spends the whole evening chatting and being touchy-feely with you, he's neither shy nor afraid of rejection. He's either just after sex so he has no interest in getting your number, or else he's getting no positive signals from you so eventually gives up.

 

If that’s the case at what point does he ask for sex? Will he causally day...oh let’s oh to my place or something?

 

 

I was thinking the same thing, if a guy approaches me there is no way, he’s “shy.” Shy people do not approach strangers what so ever.

[frus69]

If that’s the case at what point does he ask for sex? Will he causally day...oh let’s oh to my place or something?

.

 

Yes. If he senses that you are DTF, he will ask "so do you want to come back to mine and have a drink/watch a movie etc etc"

 

Or it could be that he just wanted an ego boost from you

[greenlights0000]

Yes. If he senses that you are DTF, he will ask "so do you want to come back to mine and have a drink/watch a movie etc etc"

 

Or it could be that he just wanted an ego boost from you

 

How does a guy sense if a girl is dtf? If she’s dressed sexy or something?