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Is it appropriate for a guy with a girlfriend to dance with another girl?

greenlights0000

By greenlights0000
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greenlights0000 Member

greenlights0000

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Last weekend I went to a club with a group of people. One of the guys there has a girlfriend, looks like she was planning on going but couldn’t make it. This is my second time running into this guy. No big deal. Through the night, the club was packed, he was dancing mostly by himself with the group not like with other girls. Anyway, since I really wasn’t dancing he took the approach to take my hand and we danced, he didn’t grind up on me or anything like that. But like touching my arm and twirling me around. It happened like 3 times that we danced, he didn’t like talk to me or anything. Was this appropriate?

basil67 Established Member

basil67

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I wouldn't have a problem with it.

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greenlights0000 Member

greenlights0000

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I wasn’t sure if he creeping up on me. I just always viewed dancing as an intimate activity-like the whole touching, holding hands part. Even if someone is taken, dancing with someone another than your S.O. Is off limits to me

basil67 Established Member

basil67

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What kind of dancing were you doing? Was it a nightclub or, say, a Salsa club?

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greenlights0000 Member

greenlights0000

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It was a nightclub, packed with bachelorette parties, it was loud, top 40, pop music.

preraph Established Member

preraph

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He just likes to dance. People don't seem to dance that much anymore at least not with partners but when people did dance it was common for them to switch partners as long as they didn't cross the boundaries and like you say get fresh.

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greenlights0000 Member

greenlights0000

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Okay, no boundaries were crossed. Since I didn’t see him dance with other girls, only me, I just got the wrong idea.

Curiousroxy86 Established Member

Curiousroxy86

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Say you were the girlfriend that was not there and your boyfriend was dancing with another girl (that’s not you) in the manner that you described...would you think it’s appropriate?

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h0000 Established Member

h0000

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Okay, no boundaries were crossed. Since I didn’t see him dance with other girls, only me, I just got the wrong idea.

 

You think he was hitting on you?

And are you worrying for his GF ?

todreaminblue Established Member

todreaminblue

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i feel dancign is fine as long as it isnt slow dancing or bodied dancing and no breast or bum touching then its alright....the best bet is too imagine your future bf or his gf being able to be comfortable watching you dance together....or would you feel comfortable watching your bf dance with a girl the way you are dancing with another guy...

 

platonic dancing is possible ...the boundaries are physical ones.....and drinking dulls those boundaries when you are dancing.....just as an afterthought......if you dont want regrets in your future drink water during the night and keep hydrated .....dont drink too much...(groan) i really am showing my mother side......just take whats useful to you and from me........best wishes ...deb

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basil67 Established Member

basil67

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Wondering why you got the wrong idea. Did he ask for your number? Hold you too close? Feel your butt? Ask you to meet him in the alley?

 

It may change my response.

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greenlights0000 Member

greenlights0000

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Wondering why you got the wrong idea. Did he ask for your number? Hold you too close? Feel your butt? Ask you to meet him in the alley?

 

It may change my response.

 

None of those things, the whole “holding hands” part and just that physical contact makes me think something different. I’m not even friends with this guy nor have I had a convo with this guy. I mean he didn’t dance with other girls. I just don’t see why a guy with a girlfriend would want to plantonic dance with some other girl. If I had a boyfriend I wouldn't even be interested in dancing with another guy.

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
darkmoon Established Member

darkmoon

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have known a couple of random men dance with me, then just silently drift off, no lust, no body-to-body, just a love of dance (and a lonely day possibly) with expressive arms even held up in the air at times, we twirled, and then went our separate ways

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stillafool Established Member

stillafool

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He probably liked the way you dance and you weren't dancing with any other guys so why not? If he had tried to chat you up and ask for your number that would show interest in getting to know you. He did not so he was not interested in you that way. He did nothing wrong nor did he cheat on his girl. If he wasn't holding your hand after the dancing was over what is the harm? Some dances require you touch hands and waist, still no problem.

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elaine567 Established Member

elaine567

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If you felt it was "inappropriate", why did you accept his offer to dance three times???

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d0nnivain Established Member

d0nnivain

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. Was this appropriate?

 

It wasn't appropriate for him to dance with you because you clearly didn't appreciate being danced with. You think it's improper for "taken" people to dance with others who are not their SOs. You can feel that way but it's not a universal truth.

 

Since he was dancing not grinding, not flirting, not hitting other women or trying to score I do not think he did anything wrong. He's a guy who likes to dance.

 

If you have issues with his behavior & dancing, don't date him & move away from him when you see him out.

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kendahke Established Member

kendahke

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....I really wasn’t dancing he took the approach to take my hand and we danced, he didn’t grind up on me or anything like that. But like touching my arm and twirling me around. It happened like 3 times that we danced, he didn’t like talk to me or anything. Was this appropriate?

 

It's just a dance--he didn't want to bed you.

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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malaiyas Member

malaiyas

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Dance is a hobby of mine -- this wasn't at all inappropriate.

 

Even in group dance classes, they have you switch partners... even if you bring your significant other. I understand this was a nightclub, which makes it even less inappropriate if he wasn't grinding on you. Since you weren't dancing, he was probably just trying to encourage you to get involved and have some fun!

 

I'm Latina though so to us, dancing is very much a social activity and it's not uncommon to just dance with anyone who extends a hand. It's fun. Lighten up!

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preraph Established Member

preraph

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People who really like to dance and are kind of good at it will often want to dance with someone else they may think is good at it or dances like them or whatever. Of course, it's true someone might ask you to dance because they like how you look . But dancing itself is just dancing most of the time. You can really tell if someone is using it to put a move on you because they will ask for slow dance or be too touchy.

 

I miss dancing.

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Timshel Established Member

Timshel

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Anyway, since I really wasn’t dancing he took the approach to take my hand and we danced,

 

Was this appropriate?

 

 

He reads like a guy who enjoys dancing and saw a woman not enjoying the night and welcomed her to join the fun.

 

 

In the good 'ole days we called him a gentleman.

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smackie9 Established Member

smackie9

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When I went out with the girlies I would dance with them, other guys, or the whole dance floor because I like to dance. My husband won't dance, so when we are at events, I'm dancing with anyone and everyone.....why should I stop just because he doesn't like to dance? IMO I think it's silly to ONLY dance with your SO. Slow dance/grinding or anything like that is off limits for sure....that's just common sense.

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JuneL Established Member

JuneL

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He reads like a guy who enjoys dancing and saw a woman not enjoying the night and welcomed her to join the fun.

 

 

In the good 'ole days we called him a gentleman.

 

Exactly this. OP: Since he saw that you weren’t really dancing, the guy was playing gentleman so you could be enjoying what everyone else was doing. From your post, I gathered you’re probably pretty uptight and inexperienced; you’re probably wondering if he liked you that way.

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greenlights0000 Member

greenlights0000

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Exactly this. OP: Since he saw that you weren’t really dancing, the guy was playing gentleman so you could be enjoying what everyone else was doing. From your post, I gathered you’re probably pretty uptight and inexperienced; you’re probably wondering if he liked you that way.

 

Yeah, probably was playing gentlemen. I think some of you don’t know what kind of “club” I’m talking about. I’m talking about a sweaty, loud, bunch of 20 year olds, bachelorette parties, playing hip hop music on a Saturday night, where people are drunk and spilling alcohol all over the floor. I’m not talking about the “elegant” ballroom, salsa dancing with 50 year old couples. I’m always leerly when a guy wants to dance with me at these wild clubs because

 

 

a) they are on the prowl about 100% of the time.

b) they want to get a hard on and want to grind up on me -which happened to me before and one guy even had the nerve to put his hand down my pants almost fingering me before I walked away.

C) or guys that are interested and dance to break the ice to get my number.

 

 

You think guys like to dance? About 100% of the time they go to the clubs to pick up girls.

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greenlights0000 Member

greenlights0000

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You think guys like to dance? About 100% of the time they go to the clubs to pick up girls.

 

Think of Jersey Shore.

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
LivingWaterPlease Established Member

LivingWaterPlease

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I was at a club with my bf once and a guy asked me to dance. My bf was totally ignoring me for a long time, talking with strangers (a couple). So I asked my bf if it was ok for me to dance with the guy.

 

I would much rather have danced with my bf, a great dancer but a pretty self-centered jerk.

 

He said yes but was jealous and extremely ticked off at me after we left the club. I didn't slow dance with the guy or do anything touchy or sexual, nor he with me.

 

We broke up soon after because I found out bf was having an affair! I'm glad I danced with the other guy, :).

While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!
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