Author Jacobbradford29 Posted May 21, 2019 Author Share Posted May 21, 2019 Are you suggesting she deserves to be hated? NO! I'm suggesting that my family, friends and former coworkers dont think I am lying. Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted May 21, 2019 Share Posted May 21, 2019 NO! I'm suggesting that my family, friends and former coworkers dont think I am lying. Ok....I guess I'm just not getting what you're trying to accomplish in this thread. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jacobbradford29 Posted May 21, 2019 Author Share Posted May 21, 2019 Ok....I guess I'm just not getting what you're trying to accomplish in this thread. I just wish there was a way that I could fix things where she doesnt hate me and my family doesn't hate me too. I wanted her to just be with me behind closed doors because my family and everyone else hated her but she wasnt ok with that. But I did want her around. My back was against the wall Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted May 21, 2019 Share Posted May 21, 2019 My back was against the wall So you're the victim. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted May 21, 2019 Share Posted May 21, 2019 I just wish there was a way that I could fix things where she doesnt hate me and my family doesn't hate me too. I wanted her to just be with me behind closed doors because my family and everyone else hated her but she wasnt ok with that. But I did want her around. My back was against the wall There isn't a way to "fix" things. She will hate you and, rightly so, and so will your family. What you can wish for is that if you come clean, they will forgive you at some point and that it won't be so that YOU feel better, they will forgive you so that THEYcan move forward and feel better over time. You can and should live with what you've done and make a real effort to learn from the experience and never do anything like that again. After a significant period of "repentance" and effort, then you might try to forgive yourself and leave the past in the past. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted May 21, 2019 Share Posted May 21, 2019 You have some unwarranted behaviors that you seem to have no control over and until you get in therapy and find out why and fix it, you are not going to have a good relationship. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jacobbradford29 Posted May 21, 2019 Author Share Posted May 21, 2019 She will hate you and, rightly so, and so will your family. This is why I feel so terrible. I tried to act macho in front of my parents and I told her that she needs to act as if I dont exist. I told her that I am dating the girl I cheated on her with but I know she knows I was lying. Me and that girl never post anything together, my friends and family never interact with her or anything. Holidays have come and gone and we haven't had one couple picture. So I mean I know she knows i was lying. But that isnt enough for her to forgive me is it? Like you can tell when someone is dating ? Look I dont know what kind if mindset shes in. I wish I could figure out Link to post Share on other sites
SophieG Posted May 21, 2019 Share Posted May 21, 2019 Like you can tell when someone is dating ? No! I’ve been with my bf for almost a year and there isn’t a single trace of him on my Facebook, except for the fact that he’s in my friends list. So no, not having any pictures doesn’t mean anything. Just leave the girl alone. You’ve put her through hell and humiliated her for your own little ego. Stop, don’t contact her even again and let her live her life 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Orokotikki Posted May 21, 2019 Share Posted May 21, 2019 I stand by my earlier statement. As for some people believing you, well no ****, but only people stupid enough to believe you will tolerate you and they will get wise over time or clued in by others you burn. Which you will, because you do not have a real desire and change and do right because you are to afraid to face consequences and deal with them. Best of luck. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
AlitaAngel Posted May 21, 2019 Share Posted May 21, 2019 Long time lurker, first time poster (because of this). What about Emily? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jacobbradford29 Posted May 21, 2019 Author Share Posted May 21, 2019 Long time lurker, first time poster (because of this). What about Emily? No I dont know an Emily. Her name isnt emily. Link to post Share on other sites
Orokotikki Posted May 21, 2019 Share Posted May 21, 2019 I don't know man. You've already proven to be a liar, it might have been Emily for all we now. Not sure whether to admire your perseverance in still posting here or pity the obliviousness. Link to post Share on other sites
AlitaAngel Posted May 22, 2019 Share Posted May 22, 2019 Her story and your story sound the same. Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted May 22, 2019 Share Posted May 22, 2019 Her story and your story sound the same. **eating popcorn** Link to post Share on other sites
Rayce Posted May 22, 2019 Share Posted May 22, 2019 **eating popcorn** I remember that thread... it does sound similar. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Amethyst68 Posted May 22, 2019 Share Posted May 22, 2019 OP, you made people hate this innocent girl just because you wanted to sleep with her but not date her. You have made her life a living hell, people think she is a stalker, talk about her, insult her. Your mother shouts and insults her in public. You have ruined her reputation, this will follow her for years unless she leaves her home. A place she has as much right to as you do. Even then, a lot of this is online and could resurface wherever she goes so she may never be free! You did all of this intentionally and then have the unmitigated gall to say you never wanted to hurt her....... . WHAT THE HELL WAS WAS YOUR INTENTION THEN? OP, if you belonged to me in anyway I'd report you to the police, this has to be some sort of harassment, bullying crime. You'd no longer be welcome in my life after victimizing someone like that. I am wondering though where you learned it was okay to treat people like that? Is that how things are done in your family n 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted May 22, 2019 Share Posted May 22, 2019 Good Lord! It does sound similar to Emily's thread. I hope to heck this isn't "that guy". Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jacobbradford29 Posted May 22, 2019 Author Share Posted May 22, 2019 Her and your story sound the same. Ok, I looked at that story as much as I felt like it (meaning I'm not going through all of those pages). FIRST of all and most importantly, that guy is a sex offender at least that's what I'm gathering. I'm NOT a sex offender, I'm not in my 30s , I do not like girls that are way younger than me and I've never slept with any one named emily. I do see similarities sort of because of the lying. But I've owned up to everything I've done here. You said you "lurk" well dont come here with that because I REALLY dont appreciate the accusations you just brought here from your "lurking". I'm not the most honorable man but you will NOT be calling me a sex offender. Please go "lurk" somewhere else Link to post Share on other sites
AlitaAngel Posted May 22, 2019 Share Posted May 22, 2019 OP, absolutely nothing wrong with lurking. Some people, including myself, have had issues and reading advice other people receive has been enough to straighten out my own problems. I linked to a specific post that I said is similar to yours because of the "working together at an airport" and having a "falling out" "mother hating her" it is all the same. But regardless, what you did was wrong and coming to a forum does not redeem you. Leave this poor girl alone already or come clean to everyone. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
LenaRea Posted May 22, 2019 Share Posted May 22, 2019 Ok, I looked at that story as much as I felt like it (meaning I'm not going through all of those pages). FIRST of all and most importantly, that guy is a sex offender at least that's what I'm gathering. I'm NOT a sex offender, I'm not in my 30s , I do not like girls that are way younger than me and I've never slept with any one named emily. I do see similarities sort of because of the lying. But I've owned up to everything I've done here. You said you "lurk" well dont come here with that because I REALLY dont appreciate the accusations you just brought here from your "lurking". I'm not the most honorable man but you will NOT be calling me a sex offender. Please go "lurk" somewhere else Yes - you “owned up” on an anonymous online forum. How proud you must be. What you really need to do for a proper “owning up” is come clean to your family, her family, your former workplace, EVERY SINGLE PERSON to whom you’ve destroyed this completely innocent girl’s reputation. I’m appalled at how you truly don’t seem to grasp the gravity of what you’ve done to her. You say you didn’t mean to hurt her, maybe the first time you lied about her you didn’t, but you do not systematically demean, denigrate, humiliate, and actively discount every aspect of a person, FOR YEARS mind you, to every single person she’s in daily contact with on accident. The damage that you’ve not only caused to her personally and professionally, but emotionally is unconscionable. You should be on your knees begging every persons’ forgiveness, not just her. For her sake I hope she never has to look at your pitiful face EVER AGAIN. LEAVE HER ALONE!! You’re a psychopath. Get help right away, because what you’ve done should be prosecuted. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted May 22, 2019 Share Posted May 22, 2019 (edited) @preraph I've acknowledged what I've done. There literally no way for me to fix it. If I ran into her right now, she would want me to stay away from her or pretend she didn't see me. i do not understand how you could hurt someone who stood by you when no one else did.....to be honest your post is the type of post that makes my brain shake..... unlike other posters .....i will not say that you deserved to be hit or punched in the face...that's wrong...... what i will say is there is a way to make things right even if she never wants to see you again or hear from you ...send her a written letter telling her how wrong you were to treat her the way you did .....tell her what you appreciated about her (her standing by you etc) the way she took what your mum said without retaliation and apologise with all your heart......dont expect a reply.....dont give any excuses for what you have done...there are none.... then come clean to your mum about how wrongly you treated her and friends of yours......tell them too how wrong you were and what you lied about her...tell everything ...come clean.....then explain to them all the lovely things she did....how much you hurt her with your lies.... and be open transparent and honest..... be accountable and make restitution by your total honesty... now.....your mum and your friends ...if they love you they will be upset with your lies and deceit ...but hopefully.....respect you more because you are willing to cop the consequences of your actions and love should always prevail if they truly care for you..... i feel for this girl...and i feel for you ....because you arent really living the truth are you........ the truth of who you really are and what you have done and thats a hard slog to keep up the facade...you must be all twisted up inside.....sick to the stomach........let the facade go and you will heal and become a better person ..... be accountable to who you really are and own it..and then make a promise to always be honest in the future and not make up horrible lies that hurt people....and cause other people to hurt people....take my advice and do it........for your own sanity and well being.,....and for the well being of others.......tell the truth... there is no easy answer for you what you have to do will be hard....as it should be..its never going to be an easy fix but a hard fix......thats consequence..... it will be worth it.....in the end.....peace to you and to that girl...i wish her to have forgiveness in her heart for you so she can move on from you.....and the damage you have done.....to find someone who truly cares for her...good luck...deb Edited May 22, 2019 by todreaminblue 1 Link to post Share on other sites
LenaRea Posted May 22, 2019 Share Posted May 22, 2019 Yes ^^^^^^ This 100%. Exactly what Todreaminblue suggests. Full disclosure, accountability, forgiveness requests (from everyone) and facing all consequences is the only way to move forward and escape with any shred of integrity, dignity, or honesty in your future. If you don’t, you will be haunted by this for the rest of your life. If you feel terrible and afraid, you should; what you’ve done to her is off the charts horrible. It’s sustained abuse, emotional manipulation, harassment, and the worst kind of bullying. Don’t expect her to forgive you, but if she does, please just give her peace. You really need to give her that anyway. And seriously - get psychological treatment. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Rayce Posted May 22, 2019 Share Posted May 22, 2019 I also agree with todreaminblue…. take to heart what she is suggesting then learn from this experience and vow to never play someone again. Your young and can change.. maybe you can pay forward and help others instead of harming them. Peace 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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