Author Brazi319 Posted May 31, 2019 Author Share Posted May 31, 2019 @Flame Aura, my intention was solely to try to reestablish a friendship. As I mentioned before, there was 0% chance of a relationship. I didnt want one and she wanted kids (eventually). I was not going to give her kids, technically I cant anymore. So I’m clear as to what I want. @Versacehottie, I understand and tend to agree with your thoughts about this situation. I was being hopeful that a friendship can still be had but the more I write about this and read objective feedback, maybe friendship is not something I should be seeking from her; maybe I should not be dealing with her anymore. That version of her is gone and now there is the mother & wife not the adulterous divorcee (she divorced him a year into our FWB, not something I wanted her to do) I was dealing with. She is different although I thought some things never change. That was my hope. I’ll let that hope go, as well as her. Now we are supposed to meet up next week but I have to change the date, so I will see.... Link to post Share on other sites
Versacehottie Posted June 1, 2019 Share Posted June 1, 2019 @Flame Aura, my intention was solely to try to reestablish a friendship. As I mentioned before, there was 0% chance of a relationship. I didnt want one and she wanted kids (eventually). I was not going to give her kids, technically I cant anymore. So I’m clear as to what I want. @Versacehottie, I understand and tend to agree with your thoughts about this situation. I was being hopeful that a friendship can still be had but the more I write about this and read objective feedback, maybe friendship is not something I should be seeking from her; maybe I should not be dealing with her anymore. That version of her is gone and now there is the mother & wife not the adulterous divorcee (she divorced him a year into our FWB, not something I wanted her to do) I was dealing with. She is different although I thought some things never change. That was my hope. I’ll let that hope go, as well as her. Now we are supposed to meet up next week but I have to change the date, so I will see.... When i'm reading between the lines of your posts, i think you want more than friendship, eventually, whether it be benefits or even more--although you might not realize it consciously. I actually think there is nothing wrong with friendship with this person when that's what you actually do want and when you actually want only that. I don't think you are there yet TBH. Also the more of this story comes out indirectly, it sounds like she has really weak boundaries and moral code. Like lots of cheating, perhaps? You haven't come right out and said it but if i'm reading it correctly that's what i see. Maybe it makes you feel extremely desired that she would cheat on whoever she was supposed to be with and that makes this addiction thing to her more strong, it's an ego boost and then some. Don't fool yourself too much. It's has as much to do with the fact that she is not capable of being loyal and is greatly in need of her own ego boosts and feeling desired by two people. These are the type of people who need to create drama to FEEL like something amazing and magnetic is going on in their lives. If it's not happening for good and normal reasons, they create it through drama and back and forth and playing people off each other etc. It's toxic as you may already know. So yeah you should walk away from interaction with this one. Postponing your upcoming date is the least of your problems. You need to find a way to get her out of your life before she messes with it. She is impulsive and erratic with bad judgment--why bring that back into your life? Sooner or later it's going to be you that gets burned. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Brazi319 Posted June 3, 2019 Author Share Posted June 3, 2019 Again, thank you all for your input. You have in part validated for me at least the type of woman I thought of as a friend. First off, we were to meet last week but she cancelled ‘due to work’ and wanted to connect this week. I said sure because of course these things happen. We were supposed to meet up tomorrow and I just got a text that her mother is sick or something. Ok, sure..... Just like the earlier part of the year, kicking the van down the road. Not interested. At this point, I’m feel like a fool and know I’m being breadcrumb’ed. I have not replied. One might say to ghost but I think that’s immature but at this point, I think it makes the most sense. Since I am not on social media, it’s actually easy. I’m in a great place in my life and just wanted to enjoy it with someone that I thought was cool. Eye opener..... I’m good, she’s dead to me. Link to post Share on other sites
Versacehottie Posted June 4, 2019 Share Posted June 4, 2019 I think you are doing the right thing. If there ever was a situation where i feel someone was having you around as backup, this fits the bill. It's not fun when someone jerks you around and it's one-sided, no matter what the label is. Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
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