snowcones Posted May 2, 2019 Share Posted May 2, 2019 I think only you can answer this. I have seen plenty of people go with one connection over the other and have a long-lasting and presumably happy relationship, and I have seen other people be absolutely miserable doing this. I really think it depends on the person whether they can do it or not. I could say I wouldn't do it but the next person would. You have to decide which person you are. Link to post Share on other sites
Lotsgoingon Posted May 3, 2019 Share Posted May 3, 2019 Keep dating ... keep meeting people ... keep and open mind ... and I guarantee you'll be surprised ... a lot! .... You'll find yourself attracted to someone who has less than your fantasy body type and who doesn't have your typical preferred body type. You need both ... but here's where I would reframe your very good question. I don't think you need ideal looks and ideal emotional connection. I think good enough looks can work ... along with strong emotional connection. There are people who became much more attractive to me after I got to know them. If I had seen them in a online dating photo page, I would not have been interested, but after spending time with the person (and this has happened so many times) I found them to be attractive and sexy. That's why I think you want to simply keep meeting people, talking to people, going to parties, socials ... yes, go randomly meet up with people who aren't your preferred type ... you'll find yourself attracted to people you didn't imagine you would be ... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Hopeful30 Posted May 7, 2019 Share Posted May 7, 2019 Fair enough. Was there literally zero attraction there? Or was it a matter of just not your typical type, but still found him attractive? (Im curious), as in this case, I do not find her unattractive at all. She is in fact very attractive and charming, just not my "usual" type. There was zero sexual attraction. The reason I continued with the relationship was because the men I *was* sexually attracted to weren't good boyfriend material. I decided not to be picky about sexual attraction anymore (since it was failing me anyways) and decided to date a man who was the boyfriend type I was looking for (even though I wasn't attracted to him). I foolishly hoped that I would develop an attraction to him with time. After all, when people always tell you that you're too picky about sexual attraction... After nearly 2 years, I couldn't tolerate his touch anymore. I loved him, but literally felt raped everytime I 'let' him have sex with me. It was a difficult breakup, I lost a wonderful person, but I couldn't live without the sexual attraction anymore. It wasn't going to just 'appear'. It was a sad lesson to learn. Circling back to your original post, mental/emotional connection is stronger, but it cannot sustain a relationship alone. There needs to be a little bit of everything. Link to post Share on other sites
Daisy2013 Posted May 8, 2019 Share Posted May 8, 2019 For me, if the emotional/mental connection is there, physical will follow. Then, the physical is mind-blowing. I can’t stand the sexual touch of someone I’m not connected to emotionally, it repulses me. Link to post Share on other sites
frus69 Posted May 8, 2019 Share Posted May 8, 2019 Sometimes emotional connection can help grow physical connection, sometimes it cant. It's just not something you can control. I dont think social media is f*cking up people's expectations in terms of physical appearance. People fall in love every day with other average people in real life. If you actually think you are unable to find real girls attractive due to social media, then I suggest you get off them first. You can give this girl some more time and see if anything can grow. if not, you need to end it because you will end up unhappy and you will essentially waste her time.`You cant force attraction Link to post Share on other sites
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