loversquarrel Posted May 3, 2019 Share Posted May 3, 2019 It takes much more than food and sex to win my heart, in fact if it were just those two things then I wouldn't bother with a relationship as I'm a good cook, can easily afford nice restaurants and have always had it fairly easy with women. My version of a woman making things easier is one who makes it better. A relationship where we are each others equals, we share everything, each others support and home base, giving each other autonomy and enjoying each others company, engaging each other, etc. All of these things and more definitely make it easier because they make it better. It's all about the intangibles. Link to post Share on other sites
loversquarrel Posted May 3, 2019 Share Posted May 3, 2019 And honestly, here on LS lately, seems like the only way to a man's emotions is sex, according to a quite a few guys on here, so....all that other stuff is pretty much redundant, right? I'm not sure which guys are posting that but it's far from the truth, sex is but one component to a man's emotions. Link to post Share on other sites
major_merrick Posted May 3, 2019 Share Posted May 3, 2019 One thing for me (and I recognize that others may feel differently) I personally wouldn't accept a woman who didn't want to work. She needs to at least hold her own (break even) economically within the family. So along with winning my heart she has to be self-sufficient. I think M_M's point about respect comes into play here. For whatever reason, I don't respect women who don't make something out of themselves. Maybe because my mother was a career woman, dunno. Work comes in different forms. I don't believe (anymore) in being self sufficient. That goes against being a team. I believe in being a contributor, which is a different concept. My idea is - do SOMETHING! Whether that's working outside the home, staying home, or whatever other role you take....do something valuable and productive that uses your talents. For me, that's doing my job and doing special projects at home. I'm not great with domestic stuff. For my husband's Wife #1 and for my GF#2, that means taking care of kids and cooking and cleaning. There's dignity in all work, and all work is deserving of respect whether it brings in a paycheck or not. What doesn't deserve respect is being lazy and sitting on your butt. And that goes for men and women equally. Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted May 3, 2019 Share Posted May 3, 2019 (edited) @M_M - fully get and respect what you are saying, and that others have different views. This need for a partner to bring in a signficant paycheck of some kind in order to feel respect is an idiosyncrasy for me personally I think. It's not critical financially in fact. Just a sort of a standard that I have. Edited May 3, 2019 by mark clemson Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted May 4, 2019 Share Posted May 4, 2019 Some women just need to show up and be able to fog a mirror....:laugh: TFY Link to post Share on other sites
Springsummer Posted May 4, 2019 Share Posted May 4, 2019 Yawn...Life is hard as it is. Now women have to try their darness to win a man? What do I get in return? for my time and energy? why can't be it another way around? what men should do to win a woman? Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted May 4, 2019 Share Posted May 4, 2019 why can't be it another way around? what men should do to win a woman? Well....lessee.... Most men need to(according to many women) -Look good and have a good physique -Be tall and have a great head of hair -have a great career and make a lot of money -Be intelligent and funny... -Have alpha traits. -Love your animals -Tell you how awesome you are at every turn. -Let you win every argument -Be able to support you as a SAHM if that's what you want.. -Be handy and able to fix stuff. -Have a big dick and be a great lover.. Whereas most guys would be completely satisfied with a woman that isn't a nagging pain in the ass and doesn't get fat.. TFY 3 Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted May 4, 2019 Share Posted May 4, 2019 the stomach is the way to a man's heart. good food = love... Link to post Share on other sites
Shining One Posted May 4, 2019 Share Posted May 4, 2019 What do I get in return? for my time and energy?His time and energy, which seems fair.why can't be it another way around? what men should do to win a woman?I think the general idea is that both men and women should be doing things to "win" each other. Link to post Share on other sites
guest569 Posted May 4, 2019 Share Posted May 4, 2019 I'm not sure about this Tim. I think you are oversimplifying matters. Basil was onto something with life's stresses. It doesn't have to be about mortgages or children. What if your partner falls ill? What if they are deployed? Will you up and leave them because they're making your life hard? I 100% agree with you that partners should help and support each other through life's ups and downs. But as individuals, we need to take a certain level of responsibility for our own lives and our own happiness rather than depend on someone else to just bring it to us. Being in a relationship does not necessarily make life easier or free us from troubles. I guess it's fair enough if that's how you feel. But I just worry about the mentality of depending on someone in this way and what might happen if the relationship didn't stand the test of time. Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted May 4, 2019 Share Posted May 4, 2019 What is the purpose of a relationship if it doesn't make your life better? Having a relationship should not be about making your life better. It should enhance the really good life you have already made for yourself. Relying on a relationship/partner to make your life better is a pipe dream and puts a lot of pressure on a partner. Sure, you're life might be better because of the relationship but the partner isn't always having the same experience . . . The one thing a relationship shouldn't do is make your life worse, for sure. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted May 4, 2019 Share Posted May 4, 2019 Of course you should have the foundation of a good life but a relationship should be an improvement. Link to post Share on other sites
Wallysbears Posted May 4, 2019 Share Posted May 4, 2019 I've found it really easy to keep my husband happy. Lady in the street, freak in the bed and all that. He loves me. Undeniably. He's totally and completely devoted to me. And I am to him. He's my rock, my best friend and the ying to my yang. I keep him happy on the daily by cooking him good food (he loves that) and regular sex and adoration and appreciation. I get the same in return. It is a simple equation. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted May 4, 2019 Share Posted May 4, 2019 I've found it really easy to keep my husband happy. Lady in the street, freak in the bed and all that. He loves me. Undeniably. He's totally and completely devoted to me. And I am to him. He's my rock, my best friend and the ying to my yang. I keep him happy on the daily by cooking him good food (he loves that) and regular sex and adoration and appreciation. I get the same in return. It is a simple equation. This is somebody who gets what makes a good relationship. Both people should want what is best for each other. Link to post Share on other sites
MeadowFlower Posted May 5, 2019 Share Posted May 5, 2019 So if a woman is serious about winning a guy's heart what is she to do? I think the answer is simple. She has to give him a reason to believe that his life is going to be at least a little easier if he accepts a promotion to a boyfriend/committed relationship. ...... This is how a guy should be thinking. Is being with her going to make my life any easier or harder? What reason has she given me to believe I'm getting just a taste of heaven being with her? Don't need to make it sound like a woman's applying for the job. Link to post Share on other sites
Springsummer Posted May 5, 2019 Share Posted May 5, 2019 Don't need to make it sound like a woman's applying for the job. A woman needs a job to survive, while many men are useless or even a burden. so the question, is the man in question worth winning? what for? If life is too hard for the man, then I am not the savior, heck I can hardly save myself. If life is too hard for a man, it is much much harder for a woman. therefore, a man should be there to make life easier for a woman. not the other way around. Link to post Share on other sites
MeadowFlower Posted May 5, 2019 Share Posted May 5, 2019 A woman needs a job to survive... I wasn't meaning a literal job. Link to post Share on other sites
major_merrick Posted May 5, 2019 Share Posted May 5, 2019 A woman needs a job to survive, while many men are useless or even a burden. so the question, is the man in question worth winning? what for? If life is too hard for the man, then I am not the savior, heck I can hardly save myself. If life is too hard for a man, it is much much harder for a woman. therefore, a man should be there to make life easier for a woman. not the other way around. I think it goes for both sexes. For what it's worth, I've met a lot of fat, lazy, irritating, entitled, useless women. It is almost an epidemic in America. I think men get to ask if the woman is worth winning too. I think life is equally hard for men and women, just in different ways. Equality does not necessarily mean similarity. That's something I've learned the last year and a half in my marriage. My husband has a number of life sayings. One of them goes like this, "If two lie down together, they can keep warm...but how can one keep warm alone? One may be overpowered, but two can protect each other." I think it comes from the Bible. He also says, "a bundle of sticks isn't easily broken." Life is hard for one person...man or woman. You survive together and save each other. I learned about the value of a good partner when I was young. My husband and I literally had to protect each other and keep each other alive. It took me a while to realize the true value of loyalty. That's what you should be looking for in a partner, and that's what you should offer to a partner. Work ethic, loyalty, perseverance, honor. Ask yourself what your intended partner contributes, and what they value. Ask yourself what you contribute, and what you value. The whole should be greater than the sum of the parts. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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