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Is it a Myth? If a guy wants to see a woman, he will make it happen

Youngestdaughter

By Youngestdaughter
in General Relationship Discussion

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Youngestdaughter Established Member

Youngestdaughter

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Not a matter of gender, or age but personalities. We need men who like the chase-that would be the man showing interest first-cuz there are women who need to be chased. And good there are aggressive women for shy men...and skilled flirtation on both parts never hurts and is in fact quite enjoyable. But naturally flirtatious people of both sexes should be able to communicate whether they are in pursuit or being themselves. My stance from the beginning is that it's not a matter of age (there have always been aggressive people of both sexes, though there was a time women had to be more manipulative ). But if it took all this mountain and heaven and earth moving, I think the human race would have died out long ago.

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Youngestdaughter Established Member

Youngestdaughter

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It wasn't just high school, but into my twenties. I just happened to see these men at reunions or sometimes talk to them on Facebook. And the reason wasn't always they were intimidated. Sometimes they assumed I was taken. Having what the most beautiful of them all called "a limitless amount of male friends" didn't help either.

basil67 Established Member

basil67

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I have this person under the same director. The last two times our team went out for lunches, every time he said"oh, she likes to sit besides me'. I didn't purposefully do so.

 

I am sure a married man will definitely not say that. I am not interested, especially the guy just got out of a long term relationship not too long ago.

 

why the heck he said that though?

 

He said it because he was flirting. It could have been the lighthearted kind of flirting which doesn’t go any further than banter, or he could have been testing the waters.

JuneL Established Member

JuneL

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He said it because he was flirting. It could have been the lighthearted kind of flirting which doesn’t go any further than banter, or he could have been testing the waters.

 

The creepy guy was putting her on the spot by saying that in front of everyone. I think he demonstrated being creepy vs flirty nicely.

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BaileyB Established Member

BaileyB

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The creepy guy was putting her on the spot by saying that in front of everyone. I think he demonstrated being creepy vs flirty nicely.

 

Rather, his attempt at flirting felt very creepy...

preraph Established Member

preraph

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He's faking it to make it.

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Youngestdaughter Established Member

Youngestdaughter

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Is this his first and only stupid thing he's said? Are they all of a flirtatious manner? Because I had a boss who was a truly nice guy. But it took us all a long time to figure that out because he said the STUPIDEST THINGS! He was from New York and made very offensive jokes about the South. And, other things he said, I simply cannot repeat. But this was a restaurant and the standards are not as stringent as they are in an office environment. My point is, some people say the first thing that pops into their heads and don't even mean them. Others try to be funny and come off crude and offensive (like insulting people's native region and those in it). But there's another kind of individual, one I mentioned earlier, who will take "Hello" as a signal and follow you home. I knew a girl who thought a guy liked her cuz he lit her cigarette. The guy was a friend of mine and I knew who he liked. It wasn't she. And I didn't have the heart to say, "Honey, you had a cigarette. He had a lighter and manners." Until you figure out what category into which this guy falls, I'd distance myself and be polite but borderline cold for your own personal and professional safety. I have to say-but this is just a hunch and I could be completely wrong-I can't help but feel sorry for him. Social awkwardness is like a disease of the personality. And if he really believes you are interested because you inadvertently sat by him, well, that's just sad. It doesn't make what he said any less inappropriate. But, again, IF, he thinks that, well that sounds like he's desperate to take ANYTHING as a signal and not in a predatory way because you didn't mention him acting on it, in a sad way like he doesn't get many or maybe any real signals. Sometimes people come off creepy, but they're really harmless. Still, this is your job. So, you can't afford to take the chance. This is unfortunate and unfair. You did nothing and now you have a situation. I'm sorry and hope it all works out for you.

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JuneL Established Member

JuneL

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“And if he really believes you are interested because you inadvertently sat by him, well, that's just sad.”

 

Let’s say she does have interest in him. It boggles my mind why someone would say “I know you like me” in front of everybody without making her feel uneasy :confused:

Edited by JuneL
todreaminblue Established Member

todreaminblue

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“And if he really believes you are interested because you inadvertently sat by him, well, that's just sad.”

 

Let’s say she does have interest in him. It boggles my mind why someone would say “I know you like me” in front of everybody without making her feel uneasy :confused:

 

i feel its because sometimes when guys really like a girl they say stupid stuff like foot and mouth disease..lol...they just lose it....like the mental capacity to form intelligent conversation and say goofy things...or sometimes they say nothing at all because they are just too worried ...i know this....because not only have i had it happen with a guy its been quite a few....get ....goofy around me....

 

...personally i have said some really goofy things with a guy i had fallen for.....i told him i knew how to hypnotise a chicken....which i do.....i can put kittens to sleep too....but as an opener in a conversation it was at the time just weird.....i have also asked the same guy if he had worms...... my mum was there at the time and she actually snorted in held back laughter in the back seat of his car..when i heard her snort i realised i said something really...goofy.........i actually meant real garden worms not like ...human worms....

 

yep...i understand foot in mouth disease....im the queen of foot in mouth like probably two feet in mouth disease.......some guys however....like my foot in mouth disease...makes them laugh...i date those guys not the ones who judge me creepy or weird...........who understand the imperfect in me as i understand their imperfect....sometimes people say the stupidest stuff.....i take a bow yep im one.........:0)..deb

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snowcones Established Member

snowcones

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I don't know if this is true if he just met you and there isn't much feeling already established.

 

But I know that when we are in love (both men and women) we act a little bonkers. Love makes you do things you'd never do otherwise. It doesn't always work out but you sure are driven in the moment to do it and you can't ignore it.

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preraph Established Member

preraph

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todreaminblue, telling someone you know how to hypnotize chickens is like something I would do too! I guess it was okay with me if I attracted offbeat guys....

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todreaminblue Established Member

todreaminblue

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todreaminblue, telling someone you know how to hypnotize chickens is like something I would do too! I guess it was okay with me if I attracted offbeat guys....

 

smilin...yay...a kindred spirit...xo...deb

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preraph Established Member

preraph

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It's what makes you unique.

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Springsummer Established Member

Springsummer

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He's faking it to make it.

 

Maybe his ex didn't want him and therefore he desperately wanted to be liked by another human being? oh, whatever, he is not my concern.

  • 5 weeks later...
Mysterio Established Member

Mysterio

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I ran into a woman about 6 weeks ago at an East Indian Resturant. I like her and she was actually talkative to me. She was with a guy and I felt awkward just asking her out on the spot. The man she was with seemed effeminate. Like a Gay best friend. Then again. I did not know their status.

 

So what do I do in that situation? I know her name. She said in our conversation is that she is not on social media. For some reason for me. I never feel like when I am the driving force in dating that it never works out. Somehow there is an obstacle all the time.

 

Here is the thing with me. I am always thinking about how things will turn out and I don't want to put myself in an awkward situation. I am just not good at that. If she was alone. It would be a different story. Two things I liked about her was one. She smiled at me and made conversation. I think I know her from somewhere, but I can't place it. The Second, she was attractive to the eyes in an understated way. If I had to say who she would look like I guess it would be Actress Regina King.

 

I don't know why I can't win in this one area of life. It's two things that I notice about women. Physical Attraction first then the personal attraction or Personal connection first then Physical Attraction afterwards. I wonder if Physical first is messing me up and others.

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