Men make me sick to my stomach. Literally

[Rocker71]

I only read your initial post, but I think it has to do with the guys you're picking. A woman only needs to express to me one time she's not interested and she will never hear from me again, ever.

 

I'm the exact same way. She doesn't even have to say it. I can pick up on it and delete her number and refocus on women who are interested. I never take it personally either.

[Blind-Sided]

I don't know if reading posts like this are good or bad for me. LOL. (im a guy) I know there are a lot of "Players" out there... but there are a lot of good guys that just get stuck in a "Grass is greener" situation, and are tossed aside. Or worse... we get demonized to validate someone else's agenda. Because of that... the "Good Ones" may feel jaded, and have a hard time trusting again.

 

 

But on that note... there are just as many women who are the same.

 

 

Guess there's no real info here... just a response to what I'm reading, since it's very personal right now.

[OnlyHonesty]

This is not gender specific, or necessarily about the picker. It's simply a cross section that represents the state of the collective consciousness. Dating online, offline, social media, in person or through friends, you are likely to find the same.

 

What you will discover is vastly more egoic people, than normal ones. Look at the state of society, then tell me why you are surprised you can't meet a decent person...

[JulieDtd]

Prior to this relationship, I had dated quite a bit, online dating included.

 

Other than 2 or 3 really freaky experiences, everything was mostly good!

 

I'm wondering if it's perhaps the type of guys you swipe right on. In general, I have a thing for really smart guys or outdoorsy guys, and would only bother with researchers, coders, programmers, professors or rock climbers, canoeists etc.

 

Very varied perhaps, but I have always had a few rules --> I never, ever bother with men who have selfies whereby the sole focus of the photo is on how good they look. I'm not sure if you know what I mean. Like those where they smirk into the camera, where they look good and they know it - I never ever bother with people with such photos as their number one pic.

 

Usually, I do guys who have dogs in the photo (i know, such a typical girl), guys doing some outdoorsy activity, travel photos, or guys who look a little goofy.

 

Other rule is, I look at the profile and make sure they sound down-to-earth. And chill. I avoid all men who put things like "looking for a casual thing" etc., or things like "earn big bucks" or anything that points to an inflated ego.

 

Now, with all these rules in place, I still met a couple of doozies (one asked me to marry him on the first date. I ran fast and hard). But most of the time, i actually went on dates with really sincere, decent (at least from the first few dates) and intelligent men, and really enjoyed the whole dating process!

[chillii]

I can relate to this post big time. MEN make me sick a lot. I have been dating guys for two years after my last relationship. Sometimes, when I'm getting ready for the date, i would be crying while putting my make up or something. I feel like every man has some sort of a mental illness or a redflag.

 

That's all just sad as hell , l've known a lot of good men , most of friends or guys l've met are good guys. And being a guy myself believe me l'd pick it or hear about otherwise in minutes.

l dunno how your managing the run your having, l mean it must be your choosing and choices.

The thing is, way back when when l was single, you could spot these women a mile away , in person in seconds. Or on date sites for example guarantee the real her will be among it in just a few lines somewhere, many of them in the first line or even in the name they'd chosen to call themselves. And if by some magic they did manage to sound sane through their page write up , a few messages or a call would let it out anyway if there were things.

 

So l dunno in guys on date sites never looked, but if they're anything like the women there's no need to even meet the losers and whackos .

The good ones you could also pick in things they said on their page, their photo's,a few messages and phone calls.

l actually thought date sites were good like that because in women , whatever they say or show gives them away right there and you just wouldn't even bother with 90% of them.

l don't see why it all couldn't be the same with the guys if your a good judge of character

 

like for example right there, why are you even seeing this guy now then if he's all that , why even start seeing him or go on seeing him ?

Right there could be your prob , l mean you just wouldn't even bother with people like that.

 

So say for me , it wasn't the women l actually met that were making me sick, l only met the few great girls out there that l could find and girls where l felt we could have a very good shot.

What made me sick was the rest of them and things l saw or heard or even read in ls sometimes. But l've never had anything to do with that type. Just seeing it all was enough though.And they do all the same scamming and fronts and lady like acts that l'd imagine these guys would do, but it's as transparent as glass , they unravel before your eyes. You just avoid them.

Edited April 16, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[toomanyquestions123]

That's all just sad as hell , l've known a lot of good men , most of friends or guys l've met are good guys. And being a guy myself believe me l'd pick it or hear about otherwise in minutes.

 

I guess it's a matter of luck/bad choices. No, i dont mean all men make me sick. I am pretty much sure there are a lot of good men out there that i did not have a chance to meet yet. If i want to go back to the dating history of my last two years of singleness, i can label each. For instance: 1. The shortie 2. the serial cheater 3. the egoistic 4. the rebel 5. The one who can't get over his ex 6. The one who just got divorced and calls his ex crazy 7. The overly attached dater 8.The one with anxiety disorder 9. The future faker 10. the fast forwarder 11. The commitment phobe 12. the former criminal 13. the one who think i will be obsessed with him in no time because he is the most amazing man. etc etc etc...

 

Those are the people that i am sick of. I just want normal and normal seems too hard to meet nowadays.

 

But you are absolutely right about knowing immediately from chatting and few phone calls if the guy is right or no; I am new on OLD and i am scared I am being picky or something.

Edited April 16, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[divegrl]

Maybe try meeting men in real life.

 

Have a beautiful day my friend.

[stillafool]

It would seem if people feel that "men make them sick to their stomachs" they would simply stop dating them. Why put up with something you don't like just to not be alone? There's nothing wrong with being alone. Not everyone has to be coupled in life.

[Versacehottie]

It would seem if people feel that "men make them sick to their stomachs" they would simply stop dating them. Why put up with something you don't like just to not be alone? There's nothing wrong with being alone. Not everyone has to be coupled in life.

 

I would agree that generalizations about men and a negative opinion about dating guys will cut you off from being open in the right way and getting the best from others and putting the best of yourself out there. If you are becoming jaded to the point where you feel bitter toward guys as a whole, it's time for a break. Live your life and find other ways to meet guys without putting that much pressure on finding love. Just socialize and see what happens. Part of the pressure is self-generated.

 

Also it depends on how you look at things: it can be just as discouraging or confusing to meet great guys that you just don't feel it for or that somehow you find yourself dating for a while. Harder in some cases because they've done nothing wrong and you might just be confused. So be grateful that the guys who are idiots, etc are making it easy and clear for you. A special and the right person for you is inherently a bit of a search and a process

[chillii]

I guess it's a matter of luck/bad choices. No, i dont mean all men make me sick. I am pretty much sure there are a lot of good men out there that i did not have a chance to meet yet. If i want to go back to the dating history of my last two years of singleness, i can label each. For instance: 1. The shortie 2. the serial cheater 3. the egoistic 4. the rebel 5. The one who can't get over his ex 6. The one who just got divorced and calls his ex crazy 7. The overly attached dater 8.The one with anxiety disorder 9. The future faker 10. the fast forwarder 11. The commitment phobe 12. the former criminal 13. the one who think i will be obsessed with him in no time because he is the most amazing man. etc etc etc...

 

Those are the people that i am sick of. I just want normal and normal seems too hard to meet nowadays.

 

But you are absolutely right about knowing immediately from chatting and few phone calls if the guy is right or no; I am new on OLD and i am scared I am being picky or something.

 

 

 

 

Yeah , l know, scary thing alright , should try it after a 20 year marriage , couldn't believe this is what life had come too.

But try not to be too hard on yourself , more be hard about who you choose to even bother with.

l was only on a date site a short while and that alone was pretty sickening too , it was a different world to when l was single last.

But try to remember there are just genuine good people on there too , looking for all the same things you are, it sure is an experience fishing them outa there though l know , but they are there.

 

Anyway , good luck.

[bachdude]

I have mixed feelings about this thread.

 

On the one hand, it's pretty mind boggling how clueless some guys are when it comes to dating and how to approach women. A lot of the problem is that guys are not raised with a good understanding of what being a man is. It use to be more clear. Today it is suspect. And more and more guys do not have good role models. Men are totally confused because we get so many messages that are virtually impossible to put together. Be confident but vulnerable, manly but not too much or it's toxic masculinity, be sensitive but don't let on you get hurt feelings...etc.

 

We have no clue how to act anymore...It's a complete mess.

 

We should be a GENTLE-MAN, a 'gentleman'. It says it all right there, perfectly.

 

On the other hand, titles to threads like, 'Men make me sick to my stomach..." come off as men bashing...like we need any more of that kind of talk in our culture.

 

So, OP, I wish you luck, though. If you use OLD, it's a pure numbers game. There will be more bad apples then good. Have reasonable expectations and a sense of humor about it.

Edited April 16, 2019 by bachdude

[golden.peach]

Well, I had a honest talk to myself and I think I'll take a break from dating. Hopefully, when someone right will appear, I'll notice.

 

I realized that most of the times I'm not going out with these men out of pure pleasure and excited-curiosity (I don't know how else to call it); sometimes I do it because our common friends set us up a date and I don't wanna come off as rude, and other times I do it out of boredom. Boredom, yes, if I'm being completely honest.

 

The thing is, most of my close friends moved away (other countries, other cities) or they got married and have babies, so I was left with a handful of people I know and can go out with. I’m also pretty busy, I got a job, my own business and several hobbies. I can’t be all by myself all the time. I think I just wanted to find someone I can share all of these with, but I ended up feeling under pressure.

 

That doesn’t change though the fact that some of the men I met are ”doozies”. Like some of you pointed out this is the world we live in. Probably, some women are just as bad.

 

In the end, I’d like to say that I wasn’t trying to bash men, but some of them are scary and exhausting. I had no idea finding a normal man is that hard...

[snowcones]

It's rough out there.