Where would I go to meet guys alone?

[Oceansfun]

I’m in my 30’s, I want to venture out to meet guys where they approach me. Like last Saturday night for example I was driving downtown and saw a bunch of cute guys walking in a group I’m assuming they were headed to the bars. Also, I posted that I met a guy at a meetup event-however it didn’t go as planned like him asking my number.

 

I kind of want to meet guys as friends but I want guys to approach, and take me out. Even if I’m not dating I would like to have some fun. I don’t want to do online dating- they never work for me.

 

I just want to get hit on not viewed as a “great person” friend zone if that makes sense. I like clubs, but only if it’s packed. Coffee places no-guys really don’t approach me there

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

I just want to get hit on not viewed as a “great person”

 

Just go to bars.

[Oceansfun]

Hmm..yeah bars seem to be the best bet.

[alphamale]

Just go to bars.

 

high end bars to be more specific. you will find more college educated single men there who have their act together.

[preraph]

Go sit at the bar. Guys have to come up and say excuse me to get past you to get a drink and may strike up a conversation that way.

[Oceansfun]

Go sit at the bar. Guys have to come up and say excuse me to get past you to get a drink and may strike up a conversation that way.

 

I’m a bit shy so I’m not the type to go up to a guy to ask a question. I want to go on a Saturday night when it’s busy. My plan is to go to a bar where live music is playing-there’s a piano bar/band that plays-I figure it’s less awkward than just sitting at a bar alone at least I’ll be looking at a stage. How long should I sit at the bar? 2 hours tops? If no guy guy approaches me, should I just leave and go to a club nearby-2 hours tops there too?

[alphamale]

I’m a bit shy so I’m not the type to go up to a guy to ask a question. I want to go on a Saturday night when it’s busy. My plan is to go to a bar where live music is playing-there’s a piano bar/band that plays-I figure it’s less awkward than just sitting at a bar alone at least I’ll be looking at a stage. How long should I sit at the bar? 2 hours tops? If no guy guy approaches me, should I just leave and go to a club nearby-2 hours tops there too?

 

a lot of guys are slow on the uptake so you may want to sit at the bar alone for a few hours (2-3). it will take time for them to figure out you are by yourself. and don't drink too much because that is a killer.

[Gretchen12]

At certain bars you only need to show up and within 2 minutes a guy will come up to you. And these guys don't even care if you're with another guy. Here's a tip: male bartenders seem to know which guys are good. If a guy comes up to talk to you, look at the male bartender, you can tell if he approves.

[basil67]

I kind of want to meet guys as friends but I want guys to approach, and take me out. Even if I’m not dating I would like to have some fun.

 

Guys aren't going to approach you for friendship.

[Mysterio]

Recreational activities. Yoga/Vollyball/Judo/Pool/Bowling.

[basil67]

Yes - recreational activities will allow you to get to know a guy first rather than have him hit on you straight away.

[alphamale]

At certain bars you only need to show up and within 2 minutes a guy will come up to you. And these guys don't even care if you're with another guy. Here's a tip: male bartenders seem to know which guys are good. If a guy comes up to talk to you, look at the male bartender, you can tell if he approves.

 

what if it's a girl bartender? what then?

[OatsAndHall]

Recreational activities. Yoga/Vollyball/Judo/Pool/Bowling.

 

 

I agree with this. I played in a pool league for over a year as a) I love playing pool and b) it was a great way to meet women. I also go on hiking and fishing groups in the summer; it gets me out of the house and there's generally available women there.

[Gretchen12]

what if it's a girl bartender? what then?

 

Then no luck.

[Oceansfun]

Recreational activities. Yoga/Vollyball/Judo/Pool/Bowling.

 

I could try yoga, but 99% are women. I’m not a fan of judo, I suck at pool...bowling, maybe.

[Oceansfun]

Can someone tell me how to “get” a guy to ask me for my number at a bar? Ive gone to the clubs awhile back and guys have approached me to dance and even chatted with a few, but none of them have asked me for my number with the exception of one-that didn’t work b/c he lived another state. Otherwise, the guys that just approached and talked to me really weren’t interested since they didn’t ask for my number? I mean it’s one thing for a guy to just talk to me and nothing more but it’s another thing for him to ask my digits.

[LuckyM]

Bars are often not the best place to go, but I don't know where you live. The bars where I live have girl bartenders, usually. They are loud and cater to regulars. Do you really expect to find a LTR in a bar?

The old school traditional way is through friends, family and church. Organized single dances often have more guys, less girls.

 

Any advice you get will depend on where you live and how far you are willing to drive or travel. And what you look like.

[d0nnivain]

You are going to have to work on your shyness. In this age of #MeToo if you don't plaster a proverbial neon sign across your forehead that says you have permission to talk to me, most young guys won't. So you will have to break the ice.

 

I don't think music venues are the way to go. It's too loud. Try a sports bar. If you show up for the big game & at least know who's playing you can get almost any guy to talk to you just by asking what the score is or who the guy's favorite player is (if that is not obvious from the jersey he's wearing). I'm a rabid fan of my alma mater's football team. When DH & I go out to watch the game by the middle of the 1st quarter I'm usually surrounded by men, which suits my husband just fine because he hates football. He wanders off & goes to find the women who were deserted by the men who are talking to me about football.

 

Try meetups that are centered around activities: hiking clubs, game nights etc. I went to one called Leashes & Lovers so you could bring your dog. It's a pet think not a kinky thing. I was about to sign up for one where they paired you with a foursome to play golf. I figured even if the pairing didn't work I'd get in a round.

[Oceansfun]

Bars are often not the best place to go, but I don't know where you live. The bars where I live have girl bartenders, usually. They are loud and cater to regulars. Do you really expect to find a LTR in a bar?

The old school traditional way is through friends, family and church. Organized single dances often have more guys, less girls.

 

Any advice you get will depend on where you live and how far you are willing to drive or travel. And what you look like.

 

I don’t have many friends and even when I had them, nobody introduced me to any guy. I don’t go to church. My family? Yuck. I hate idea. I don’t want my folks to set me up. Also my older siblings don’t bother to introduce me with anyone. Bars seem the only way.

[stillafool]

 

I kind of want to meet guys as friends but I want guys to approach, and take me out. Even if I’m not dating I would like to have some fun. I don’t want to do online dating- they never work for me.

 

I just want to get hit on not viewed as a “great person” friend zone if that makes sense. I like clubs, but only if it’s packed. Coffee places no-guys really don’t approach me there

 

I don't understand you say you "wants guys to approach you and take you out" but then you say "even if I'm not dating". How does that work?

[stillafool]

a lot of guys are slow on the uptake so you may want to sit at the bar alone for a few hours (2-3). it will take time for them to figure out you are by yourself. and don't drink too much because that is a killer.

 

My Gawd Alpha? Who the heck has time to sit around 2-3 hours waiting on some man to hit on them? OP, are you working on your looks? Because if you look good you can just walk down the street and guys will hit on you and ask you out.

[alphamale]

My Gawd Alpha? Who the heck has time to sit around 2-3 hours waiting on some man to hit on them? OP, are you working on your looks? Because if you look good you can just walk down the street and guys will hit on you and ask you out.

 

why doesn't she just wear a sign around her neck saying "I'm Single"

[Wallysbears]

You don't go to bars at night alone.

 

 

Best way to meet actually eligible men that are worth meeting?

 

Go to a downtown district where you live. Somewhere close to major businesses. Preferably a decent semi-high end steak house or sports bar.

 

You go for happy hour. From 5-8ish pm.

 

Dress nicely and be friendly.

 

Men FLOCK to these types of places after work. Monday is a bad day. So are weekends. Go on a W, Thurs or Friday.

[alphamale]

You don't go to bars at night alone.

 

 

Best way to meet actually eligible men that are worth meeting?

 

Go to a downtown district where you live. Somewhere close to major businesses. Preferably a decent semi-high end steak house or sports bar.

 

You go for happy hour. From 5-8ish pm.

 

Dress nicely and be friendly.

 

Men FLOCK to these types of places after work. Monday is a bad day. So are weekends. Go on a W, Thurs or Friday.

that's good advice

[Wallysbears]

@alphamale - I know. That was my "go to" strategy when single and I had a lot of suitors.