Raising Someone Else's Children Huge Mistake?

[preraph]

Yes, I can see where your parents' holding on to that blood thing would make this subject even more sensitive than it. Just know that you're doing a better job. You know, all we can do ever is do our best. Don't let other people bring you down when you know you've done your best.

[BaileyB]

Those kids know who raised them.

 

But, when you don’t have a parent in your life for a while, it’s human nature to want to know more about that person. Consider adopted children who find their birth parents, the fact that they want to know that person and build a relationship doesn’t change their feelings for the people who raised them. They just need to know about their parent.

 

They leave you and ask for money because they know you are “safe.” You have proven to be a reliable, dependable, and loving parent and they know they can go off and explore this new relationship, trusting that you will be there when they need you. That’s actually a good thing.

 

And finally, remember that they are young adults. Their brains have not developed fully such that their reasoning and decision making process has not fully developed. And children of this age, starting out on their own roads are often very self absorbed and self involved - part of what you are describing is the natural process of separation as they gain independence. It just hurts that much more because they are going TOWARD HER as they separate from you...

 

And again - love and time and attention is never wasted when spent building a relationship with a child and noosing them into a successful young person. They may not thank you today, but someday... they will.