preraph Posted April 5, 2019 Share Posted April 5, 2019 We have no idea what time lapse was between her telling him to leave her alone and him spotting her in the bar and shouting a greeting. Or even how long ago this bar incident was. I have a feeling it wasn't even recent. That doesn't really matter if she has told this guy before to stop pestering her, but of course we can't know what really went down in that regard. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author darkmoon Posted April 6, 2019 Author Share Posted April 6, 2019 (edited) what ever I say will not mean much, am nobody's daughter or sister to anybody here Edited April 6, 2019 by darkmoon Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted April 6, 2019 Share Posted April 6, 2019 Next time give the bouncer (at least) a $20 and show him the guy who is bothering you. Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted April 6, 2019 Share Posted April 6, 2019 Oh my. Ok then. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted April 6, 2019 Share Posted April 6, 2019 There does not have to be any verbal threat for something to be harassment or stalking. The mere fact that someone keeps following or pestering you after you've told them no is harassment. in this case it doesn't seem like it escalates to stalking. Anyone who doesn't believe me is welcome to read their state laws. the requirement is that there does have to be a pattern and someone has to have let them know to stop. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted April 6, 2019 Share Posted April 6, 2019 Ignore him as much you can. If he approaches you and follows you/stalks you then do something about it (RO). He is trying to get attention (any reaction is attention and an ego feed) so don't give him that satisfaction! Don't look at him, don't speak to him, eventually he'll move on and stop being a jerk. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Logo Posted April 6, 2019 Share Posted April 6, 2019 Did he shout your name and wave for you to come over? Did he shout your name and wave hi? Is he a shouter in general? Does he greet other people the same way? Do you dislike the attention in general? What if others in the bar shouted your name as you walked in, would that bother you? Was he making eye contact when he shouted your name? Was he shouting your name during a conversation he was having with others? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
pepperbird Posted April 6, 2019 Share Posted April 6, 2019 There does not have to be any verbal threat for something to be harassment or stalking. The mere fact that someone keeps following or pestering you after you've told them no is harassment. in this case it doesn't seem like it escalates to stalking. Anyone who doesn't believe me is welcome to read their state laws. the requirement is that there does have to be a pattern and someone has to have let them know to stop. I sounds like ( and I could be wrong) she went in to an establishment where he was seated, not the other way around. I'm not saying that a woman ( or man) shouldn't feel free to go where they please, but this case sounds a bit extreme. Is there more to the story? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted April 6, 2019 Share Posted April 6, 2019 I have not had much to do with this man. Not much in common. We hardly speak. Too, I have a relationship. He chased me 2 years ago until I got blunt Problem is that he shouted out my name recently as if there was no boundary. I walked into my local bar. And there he was shouting my name out, wanting me to notice him. We are all in our 60s. He is old enough to be fully aware of his actions and their effects, and would not shout like that if I as with my boyfriend. Feeling harassed. Any thoughts? yea, this clown has got some mental issues and needs to be evaluated by a shrink Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted April 6, 2019 Share Posted April 6, 2019 yea, this clown has got some mental issues and needs to be evaluated by a shrink Which one? 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author darkmoon Posted April 6, 2019 Author Share Posted April 6, 2019 nobody has told me what harassment is. They say it varies depending on where you are. I am in London, so if anybody knows the law, rsvp, not that I care that much, just saying. Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted April 6, 2019 Share Posted April 6, 2019 nobody has told me what harassment is. They say it varies depending on where you are. I am in London, so if anybody knows the law, rsvp, not that I care that much, just saying. Here ya go. LMGTFY Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted April 6, 2019 Share Posted April 6, 2019 What a clever idea CO. I tried this Google thing and came up with this: From rightsofwomen.org.uk What is harassment? The law states that harassment is when a person behaves in a way which is intended to cause you distress or alarm. The behaviour must happen on more than one occasion. It can be the same type of behaviour or different types of behaviour on each occasion. For example, one text message intended to distress you is not harassment. Two text messages may be harassment. One text message and one phone call may also be harassment. Harassment can include things your abuser has said or done. The incidents could have happened recently or they could have happened months apart. When deciding whether your abuser’s behaviour is harassment, the court will consider whether a reasonable person, who had the same information your abuser had, would think that it is harassment. An incident of harassment could be a range of things, for example: a text, answer-phone message, letter or email a comment or threat standing outside someone’s house or driving past it an act of violence damage to someone else’s property maliciously and falsely reporting you to the police when you have done nothing wrong 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted April 6, 2019 Share Posted April 6, 2019 Darkmoon, in all seriousness, do you need help with using the internet to research things you're interested in? Granted, my daughter is better at it than me, but I'm happy to help. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author darkmoon Posted April 7, 2019 Author Share Posted April 7, 2019 (edited) I raised the question of "what is harassment?" because everybody was telling me what it was not. But the fact is, that the info you very kindly typed out would be fine if it did not use the phrase "for example" I mean to say, you would want a comprehensive list, legally understood, with all possible contingencies detailed. Still, does my story, below, count as an "example"? My own pest did chase me 2/3 years ago at a bus terminal. There were 2 stationary buses. I avoided him and got on the bus that he was not on. He changed buses to be on mine. So I changed buses back to avoid him. This bus-changing avoidance went on for some 9/10 rounds. He was following me. And no, he does not normally shout, he is a bit dull in fact, hence my scurrying off the buses. But 9/10 rounds! No less than 8. It went on and on. I had thought that avoiding a chance acquaintance would be easy. I had not wanted to make friends due to a red flag i saw, (evasion) But really I wear a ring. He knows I have somebody. So I feel safe. I am lucky, I know. Edited April 7, 2019 by darkmoon Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted April 7, 2019 Share Posted April 7, 2019 My own pest did chase me 2/3 years ago at a bus terminal. When did the incident at the bar occur? Link to post Share on other sites
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