Is being a gamer as a hobby a repellent?

[chillii]

Should be a phoner :bunny:

Plenty of women are happy to gawk at their phone 24 7, press all those pretty buttons, and stuff half of them can't even pause it to eat or talk at a restaurant.

[Blind-Sided]

Chillii: You are right. That drives me nutz, and could be a killer to me. I love modern tech... but when people are getting into car accidents because they can't put their phone down for a few minutes to drive... that is my pet peeve. AND... it's especially bad when they pick it up at every red light.

 

 

Thanks... I guess I have to put that on my list too. No smokers, no recreational drugs, and no obsessed txt'ers.

[amaysngrace]

I’m a little hooked on visiting an online relationship forum so...

[mark clemson]

Think I've found just the gals for you, OP. Enjoy...

 

[Wallysbears]

I think there are two levels to this.

 

1. A person will break out a game system and play a game on a rainy day when there's nothing else to do.

 

2. A person that has to have the newest game out by XYZ company and will play it for hours on end

 

 

 

Only you know which one you are and how much of a priority playing video games is in your life.

 

 

Personally? I avoided guys that played video games when I was dating. I dated one previously and he spent a ridiculous amount of time and money on video games and would happily have holed up playing a game if given that option vs. going out and living life.

 

Also, I didn't want video games to be a part of the life of any kids that I had. Sorry, but I didn't

 

 

So my husband isn't a 'gamer'. We don't own any game consoles or anything and it is rare if we'll even play a silly game on our phone. He's a sportsman/outdoors type and that's what I prefer and how I wanted my kid to be raised.

[smackie9]

Think I've found just the gals for you, OP. Enjoy...

 

:lmao::bunny:

[Els]

You know, if you prioritize golf, at least

You're not playing on bad weather days. Gamers just into play constantly and ignore everything else and often cannot be trusted to watch for example a toddler while the mother wants to go to the store. This happened to a friend of mine. He would completely forget to watch the toddler and from then on she told me she knew she could never trust him alone with the children.

 

That's an addict, not a gamer. Someone who was equally addicted to golf would just "forget" to pick the kid up from school because he wanted to go to the range...

 

I wonder how many people posting things like this actually socialize with gamers (as opposed to just hearing horror stories about them). I know about 30 personally from my time with various MMOs and MOBAs. There ARE a few addicts, but those are very easily spotted (basically, their career is in shambles and they can talk about literally nothing other than games). The vast majority of them have good jobs, families, and other hobbies.

 

With my WoW guild (mostly engineering professionals), weekends were off limits for raids because people wanted to spend time with their families/partners. Only one person was single, and that was because he wanted to be. Most of us had other hobbies as well. H and I have probably seen more of the world than most of the people bashing gamers for "never going outside" have.

 

IMO, if anyone wants to judge people negatively solely for a hobby that's enjoyed in moderation, that really says more about the judge than the person being judged. It's like saying that all weightlifters or footballers are meatheads, or all TV fans are chomping up cheezels by the dozens on their couch all day, or all photographers are shallow. I dunno about you guys, but I'd much rather get to know the person rather than making assumptions based on their hobby.

[amaysngrace]

I have a gamer kid like you describe Elswyth. In the past year he’s traveled to Vegas, Tampa, Disney and Georgia. He just applied for his passport because he wants to go see more of the world. Yesterday was nice outside so he played spikeball with some of his buddies. He also gets together with friends and they hang out and play board games usually once a week.

 

He’s 21, in college and makes deans list but boy does that child love to game!

[preraph]

I kinda think if you identify as a gamer, it probably is more than an occasional pasttime and is more of an addiction, and I am writing off what the OP put on his post about gaming being that important to him. Most people wouldn't have reason to even mention if they occasionally play a game, but if you identify as a gamer, that's you saying that's who you are.

 

Gaming addiction is a real thing. Psychologists treat a lot of gamers these days (and porn addicts). The addicted ones get a lift because games give them little victories constantly. My own sister was a game addict many years ago on a role playing game (not D&D). Her clients began calling me because she wasn't returning jobs or answering emails or phone calls. She neglected to take her dog to the vet and it died overnight, even with me prodding her, because during that time she neglected it and I was taking it to the dog park so it had a life. She failed to pay her bills (because she stopped working) and came this close to losing her house. And you know what? Instead of stopping and catching up or taking time to prepare and sell it, she set an appointment with those guys who pay cash fast and only pay you a third of what your house is worth. I reamed her at that point trying to snap her out of it. She didn't really snap fully out of it until some guy she'd had a fantasy flirtation with in character on the game found out she was actually old and fat and didn't confront her but told others in the game, who made rude comments, and that's what finally made her leave the game.

 

You want to live with that? You want that taking care of your kid or being the role model for your kid? Any addict is someone to run from. So in my opinion, anyone who has a big imbalance in their life, you are wise to avoid, no matter what it is. It's all about balance. If all a girl does is stay on her phone, don't date her. If all a guy does in spare time is game, don't date him. If someone can't stop their after-work routine of gaming for a couple of hours to watch the kid so you can go to the grocery store or to the doctor, dump him! Balance. Those of you who are railing against me, it's your own defensiveness because it makes you mad anyone would avoid you for your habits, but everyone has that right not to choose you for whatever reason. And you have the right not to choose me if I judge you for it (which would be doing me a great favor).

[Soulinfected]

I would DEFINITELY avoid someone like you. I think most women are less closed minded. I have had healthy relationships with women who don't play video games, they have their own hobbies and realize you don't need to spend 24/7 together.

Edited March 28, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[Els]

I have a gamer kid like you describe Elswyth. In the past year he’s traveled to Vegas, Tampa, Disney and Georgia. He just applied for his passport because he wants to go see more of the world. Yesterday was nice outside so he played spikeball with some of his buddies. He also gets together with friends and they hang out and play board games usually once a week.

 

He’s 21, in college and makes deans list but boy does that child love to game!

 

 

Cool! Yeah, I think gaming is the new Netflix for the upcoming generation. I like that H and I play, it's nice to have something to do together for an hour or so after work when you don't have energy to go out, or at night if everything is closed (and we're not big on drinking/clubbing). Having a good laugh together is very bonding IMO.

 

 

If we had a kid I'd definitely introduce them to games, but I'd also introduce them to a whole lot of other things, and let them choose what they fancy. Also they'd get none if it if they haven't done their chores/schoolwork!

Edited March 29, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[mark clemson]

@Smackie9 - glad you liked it.

[losangelena]

All I have to say is that I work at a video game company, and there are plenty of people here who identify as gamers who are in happy relationships, so it’s definitely possible.

 

I think the key is being MORE blatant about your affinity, not less. Find people who are okay with it, or even into gaming as well. It may be harder upfront to find compatible partners, but I think the search will pay off in the long run.

[Woggle]

All I have to say is that I work at a video game company, and there are plenty of people here who identify as gamers who are in happy relationships, so it’s definitely possible.

 

I think the key is being MORE blatant about your affinity, not less. Find people who are okay with it, or even into gaming as well. It may be harder upfront to find compatible partners, but I think the search will pay off in the long run.

 

I agree with this. Be who you are and you should find somebody. Nobody is attractive to everybody so just be yourself and people can take it or leave it.

[healing light]

My ex was almost a professional gamer at one point. When we were dating he didn't let it interfere with anything that we did, and even tried to play with me one time. I thought it was cute that he was teaching me even though I obviously sucked and I was looking forward to playing more with him. I'm assuming he still played when I wasn't around but I honestly have no clue how much he did or didn't because I was a priority to him.

 

This really has more to do with addiction than anything else, imo. If you won't get dinner/go out/take care of basic duties and prioritize games over a woman, then it will likely be a problem with any relationship. If you're able to compartmentalize it and play when it doesn't interfere with date night (or find a woman who is open to learning and finds it fun, too), then I don't think it will be an issue. I wouldn't hide it, either.

[Blind-Sided]

I know I already commented on this, but I have a new appreciation on this thread.

 

 

Last night, my oldest kid came home with a report card, and she got all A's. (actually very normal for her and I'm very proud because of it) So, I said I would get her a gift, and she wanted a copy of Overwatch to play with some of her friends. So, we went over to the local Gamestop to get it. As I looked around, all I saw were the people I would call typical "Gamers". Messy clothes, oily skin, messy hair, and a general un-groomed condition. (not all guys in this mix) I instantly thought of this thread, and laughed. Don't get me wrong, I'm in a game store a few times a month, but this is the first time that I was hit with the Gamer stereotype so hard in one shot. AND, I can see how it could be a turnoff for some people by just hearing it.

 

 

No real info... just a funny story.

[amaysngrace]

GameStop...omg

 

Ive spent so much time and money there. It use to be my example to my gamer son that if his grades didn’t improve he was going to have a career as a cashier at GameStop.

 

Terrible I know but it is what it is.

[GuitarGuy7]

If you’re a girl, it will probably make guys like you even more. Hot girls who are into video games are in high demand, no lie. The decently attactive girls I know who are into video games or “nerdy” things, they’re almost never single.

[Els]

My ex was almost a professional gamer at one point. When we were dating he didn't let it interfere with anything that we did, and even tried to play with me one time. I thought it was cute that he was teaching me even though I obviously sucked and I was looking forward to playing more with him.

 

 

This is sweet. I think it's a really fun couple's activity if both people are into it. Of course, there are some games that you REALLY don't want to play as a couple (just like how you probably don't want to be playing competitive tennis doubles with your partner... way too much potential for arguments when you lose an important match! ).

Edited March 29, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[Shining One]

One of the things I'll miss most about my recent ex is playing games with her and her kids. We had a blast playing Magicka "together". Together is in quotes because the game has frequent friendly fire.

[Els]

One of the things I'll miss most about my recent ex is playing games with her and her kids. We had a blast playing Magicka "together". Together is in quotes because the game has frequent friendly fire.

 

 

:lmao: It's been a while, but H and I used to play that game. I can't remember the exact name, but there was a spell that knocks you and everyone else around you off your feet, to a REALLY long distance away. The number of times I accidentally blasted us both out of the screen, lol.

[I'veseenbetterlol]

The reason for this is from their bad experiences with gaming BF's that spent more time playing than seeing them, or the gaming was more of a priority. Plus a lot of people see gaming as a waste of life. It is what it is.

 

 

Agree. I think the turn off is that people dated someone who made gaming their life. I dated a guy who did nothing in his life and spent tons of time gaming. His mom told me that his dad wasn't thrilled about and she told him at least it's better then drugs. In my opinion no addiction is a good one. Its fine if you do other things in your life.

[Soulinfected]

I know I already commented on this, but I have a new appreciation on this thread.

 

 

Last night, my oldest kid came home with a report card, and she got all A's. (actually very normal for her and I'm very proud because of it) So, I said I would get her a gift, and she wanted a copy of Overwatch to play with some of her friends. So, we went over to the local Gamestop to get it. As I looked around, all I saw were the people I would call typical "Gamers". Messy clothes, oily skin, messy hair, and a general un-groomed condition. (not all guys in this mix) I instantly thought of this thread, and laughed. Don't get me wrong, I'm in a game store a few times a month, but this is the first time that I was hit with the Gamer stereotype so hard in one shot. AND, I can see how it could be a turnoff for some people by just hearing it.

 

 

No real info... just a funny story.

 

Haha funny! No one ever guesses I'm a gamer until they walk in to my bedroom haha. I have a huge gaming PC I built myself and a bunch of gaming posters.

[Iris The Butterfly]

For me, personally, it would be a repellent.

[Woggle]

I find with gaming like anything else if you are genuinely don't care what people think then it won't hurt you much in dating. Many of the same people who criticize gamers are addicted to social media or watch reality shows or anything else but because so called polite society says that playing games isn't respectable those who enjoy it as a hobby are supposed to be ashamed. It outsells movies and music these days and people make millions just by playing them on youtube but somehow it is something to be frowned upon.

 

I have dated women who criticized my taste in stuff and a few I took to my place criticized how I decorated even though I always kept my place spotless. I told them to get lost and a few days later many of them were calling back and wanting a second date. The point it is to be who you are and people can take ir or leave it. If you stand by who you are more people than you think will take it.