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I noticed that all the people that get together really have no obstacles. Wen I think of my friends that got married etc. They have no Obstacles. Just the getting together part was very cut and dry.

 

If I have it happen to me. The woman and I would have to have all our getting together in a cut and dry way. That means just looking at my side of things. A woman that basically pops into my life. Says she likes me in a romantic way. She is single and childless and more less close in age. We click and go on from there.

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It was a set up by mutual friends. I got invited to a party he hosted, didn't go home for two days and we're still together over 25 years later.

 

Ha! Mine story is pretty similar!

 

In college an acquaintance of mine was throwing a Halloween party. I needed a ride and he said his friend that was playing in the band would be going my way and could give me a ride.

 

First time we met we were both wearing Halloween costumes :p

 

I ended up not knowing many people at the party, and he was busy with the band stuff so I took off bar hopping with my girl friends - and he ended up looking for me all over town that night.

 

He got my number, called me, and I agreed to a date the next day - that was a little over 18 years ago. We have been together ever since.

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That means just looking at my side of things. A woman that basically pops into my life. Says she likes me in a romantic way. She is single and childless and more less close in age. We click and go on from there.

 

I would say that most of the stories here don't really go that way.

 

Maybe I am wrong - ladies who have answered -did YOU make the first move, or did he chase a bit? I know in my case, he chased, he showed his interest, and once I got to know him a bit. I reciprocated.

 

Also Mysterio - I can't help to notice that you have a long list of requirements for a woman. I am willing to bet, most of these "easy" stories just followed what felt right, and didn't involve any requirements or lists at all.

 

Many of these are stories of young love blooming - and that stuff tends to not be so complicated.

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When your single and childless eveything should be easy. My friends that are married are not step parents. The one that has the sort of step parent thing. As I have said before on other posts. His GF is still technically married to her ex. So even though DT has 2 kids with his GF-C. He can't marry her until she is divorced. They are at yr 6 with each other and living together with their bio kids and her other 2 big kids.

 

I at 48. Do have lists in my head and I know some of them are crazy but most people have lists about everything. I live in a Condo not an apt. I work a the Hospital in support services not 7-11. I work out and each right. Not eat everything and am Heavy physically for it.

 

My criteria is a woman that is single and childless, and into me and making an effort to romantically connect. We have things in common like Similar tastes in Music. Both love to go out. Talk about our lives and what we are mulling over to make our lives better. Have humour between us. I don't think I am complicated. I have plenty of friends. No one is really jumping through hoops.

 

I am just stating that from my view. The more women I meet. If I even think of them in romantic way. There is an obstacle formed from me being with them in a romantic way, if I start to investigate it. A woman that likes me and makes it know to me, has a better chance getting me for awhile, than vice versa. Thats if on both sides. The physical attraction is there and with that. Thats a no choice thing with the physical attraction.

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Recent Change.

Whats your view of feeling right? I talk and interact with a lot of people. Friends, potential love interests. Truth be told. I don't even think my parents are a right match for each other. Even though they had me and my brother.

 

I don't know how my buddy thinks his current GF is right for him, when she basically can't get out or her marriage. There is no property dispute or child custody issues. Its like her ex does not want to get divorced legally. Even though he himself has a GF.

 

I wonder in order make things right if my buddy DT just said. I give you one more year to get out of the marriage. If not. We will co-parent and move on.

 

When I assess romantic connections. I am assessing compatibility for the most part beyond looks. I don't think I could have a relationship with a woman that has 4 kids with 3 different guys. Or a woman that is still legally attached to her ex. Or a woman that is obese and out of shape. We all have lists in our heads. Its just that some admit and some do not.

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Mysterio - not all, but many of the stories here that talk about lasting relationships, have a common denominator.

 

I got invited to a party he hosted, didn't go home for two days and we're still together over 25 years later.

 

I am guessing that Basil isn't 70+ so, most likely met their match when they were young.

 

We met in a bar when we were both in university.

 

Again - likely 20's.

 

She had recently graduated with a BASc degree and it was her first full time professional role .... close to 23 years ago.

 

Again, I am guessing 20's.

 

My wife and I were in the same US History 101 class with about 100 students.

 

Again - 20's or younger.

 

On the beach in Galveston when I was 18 and she was 16.

 

They were just kids!

 

In the lunch line in high school.

 

More youngsters

 

When your single and childless eveything should be easy......

 

I at 48. Do have lists in my head and I know some of them are crazy but most people have lists about everything.

 

I would say, at 48. Things are more complicated. Expectations need to be measured. Things just aren't going to be as simple and sweet, and lacking baggage at that age.

 

I would say those in their 20's don't have long lists, or often lists at all. We meet someone who makes us feel good. Someone who we admire and just makes living life that much better. Someone who we want to build a life with.

 

I didn't care what kind of job he had. Where he lived. How often he worked out. What his ex's were like. None of that mattered.

 

I hate to say it - but I think the ship has sailed on "simple and easy" like 20 somethings get to enjoy.

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MeadowFlower

 

I ended up not knowing many people at the party, and he was busy with the band stuff so I took off bar hopping with my girl friends - and he ended up looking for me all over town that night.

 

.

 

Awww!

 

..

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H and I met in a college society. We both were dating someone else when we first met, though, so things didn't happen until quite a bit later.

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He sat next to me at a concert (classical). I'm in my 50's. We chat before the concert started, then at intermission (a good 15 minutes!), he walked me out after the concert and we decided to get together again.

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LivingWaterPlease

We met when we were in high school, both sixteen-years-old.

 

I had a crush on him but he wouldn't give me the time of day. He, like Charlie Brown, was in love with the little red-headed-girl in our class (who was dating someone else, actually). So, I dated his best friend whom I decided I liked better anyway.

 

Fast forward to our 50th high school reunion. His wife had died, he'd then remarried and divorced, and I'm divorced.

 

I was prepping for the class dinner that Saturday night in my hotel room when my phone rang. It was him (OK, it was he), asking me to go to the dinner with him.

 

When I got into his car it was as if all the years (the pain of the death and the divorces) melted away and we were sixteen once again! For both of us. A classmate and his wife were in the back seat which made it more fun, too, a throwback to how things were when we were teenagers.

 

He called me on my way home the next day and we talked for hours while we drove home.

 

That's been a year ago this weekend. We are LD from each other but we talk every day and he comes to visit me as often as possible.

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So many met hs or fairly young, weird but l've never thought that young usually worked out.

Most of the divorces in the divorce forum l was in met young , no offense or jinxing intended , just sayin.

l was one of them and we'd both changed so much as we got older, another reason l've thought these days they rarely work but eh , looks like l was wrong about that stuff, kinda nice to know really.

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LivingWaterPlease
So many met hs or fairly young, weird but l've never thought that young usually worked out.

Most of the divorces in the divorce forum l was in met young , no offense or jinxing intended , just sayin.

l was one of them and we'd both changed so much as we got older, another reason l've thought these days they rarely work but eh , looks like l was wrong about that stuff, kinda nice to know really.

 

Well, I met my H in college, married at age twenty, and we divorced. So that goes along with what you've noticed in the divorce forum.

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2.50 a gallon

It was a hot July night, around midnight when I got off from work, I stopped at a convenience store for a cold drink. It was one of her first nights working there. My first thought about her, was there is a face I could kiss good morning to for the rest of my life. Then as I walked by her to glass doors in the back, my next thought was look at them legs. And I began racking my brain for some thing witty to say to get her to notice me. No luck. When I reached for my wallet to pay for my drink, the old wallet fell apart, plastic cards, bills, all over the counter. God was with me that night, as without thinking about it I said, "I know you have been wondering what you could buy me for Christmas, I think a new wallet would do the trick"

This got her to laughing, and her thinking I was funny. We have now been together for over 23 years.

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So many met hs or fairly young, weird but l've never thought that young usually worked out.

Most of the divorces in the divorce forum l was in met young , no offense or jinxing intended , just sayin.

l was one of them and we'd both changed so much as we got older, another reason l've thought these days they rarely work but eh , looks like l was wrong about that stuff, kinda nice to know really.

 

 

I think it can go either way. It's possible to grow together and be stronger for that, but definitely also possible to grow apart. We met young, but we waited a long time to move in together, and then again a long time before getting married.

 

 

I'd strongly advise against anyone marrying quickly if they are young (and met young). The whole "2 year" or even "4 year" rule really only applies to mature adults of 30+ yo IMO. The majority of couples I know who met young and are still happily married, dated a long, long time before they got married.

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Where and how did you meet your current significant other?

 

Work. He came over to where I was working & made a silly little 'ice breaker' while well 'blushing' impressively for a guy who was tanned. It was, in a way, out of character from what I'd seen and cute if a little goofy. As we got to working together, and talking, my impression went from 'goofy person' to 'ooh, he's witty & interesting'. And the rest, as they say, is history.

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When your single and childless eveything should be easy. My friends that are married are not step parents. The one that has the sort of step parent thing. As I have said before on other posts. His GF is still technically married to her ex. So even though DT has 2 kids with his GF-C. He can't marry her until she is divorced. They are at yr 6 with each other and living together with their bio kids and her other 2 big kids.

 

If I may try to stop thinking of & using your friends as a reference for relationships involving previous marriage and/or children.

 

Just reading the above their association sounds like a complicated headache (no offense) and I don't even know them. But by thinking all people with kids are like your friends & 'problematic' (thus to be avoided) you may be missing out on someone that strikes your fancy. You say, after all, that you are 48 and want someone close in age. Most, not all but most, people are gonna come with some form of "baggage" around 48 be it previous marriage and/or children.

 

 

But a friend's father, for example, had children & had been previously married. He & his second wife have been happily married for decades now.

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I'd strongly advise against anyone marrying quickly if they are young (and met young). The whole "2 year" or even "4 year" rule really only applies to mature adults of 30+ yo IMO. The majority of couples I know who met young and are still happily married, dated a long, long time before they got married.

 

We waited 14 years before “officially” getting married! Been together 18+ years now.

 

My best friend - and her husband, we all met as freshmen in college - they waited 9 years before getting married and now have been together a total of 20 years.

 

I do not have kids, and most of my friends have waited till their late 30’s before having any. But as far as the “young love” thing goes, I do agree with Elswyth, most I know who started young, and are still together decades later, waited a good while before marriage and children.

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We waited 14 years before “officially” getting married! Been together 18+ years now.

 

 

Nice! Congratulations to you both. :love:

 

 

H and I are going on 11 years together now. Time really flies, doesn't it? Hopefully we'll have a success story to tell in the future like you and your best friend do. :)

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on match.com, we emailed for 2+ weeks back and forth so I finally sent her my work email so we could talk off match and she immediately sent me an email that said "You are xxxxxxx from xxxxxxxx ?".. I said yeah and she said we know each other.. she was a client of mine and had been sending me work for a couple of years. She had my name and address/phone on her computer screen at work and we had talked thruout a couple of years but just business.

 

From there it was easy peasy.. wall was down on both sides... married almost 1.5 or so years later and now form the present that was almost 12 years ago.. 1 kid later, she no longer works there, she gave it up when she got pregnant.

 

what a heartwarming story, I remember you talking about her here on loveshack back in the day :love:

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l wonder if a second marriage say 40s or 50s is better to take plenty of time first too.

like obviously not rushing into it you don't wanna end up in the poop a second time , but you know, if your both sure.

l thought earlier if l was sure l'd just go for it, life getting to the shorter end of the stick and all why eff around.

Butttt, maybe not such a good idea.

Any thoughts ?

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Butttt, maybe not such a good idea.

Any thoughts ?

 

Well I'm not a fan of rushing into any marriage, my wife and I were together for 3 years before I popped the question.

 

I will say, second time around, you should have a better idea of the qualities in a partner important to you and an ability to avoid some of the dysfunctional pitfalls. When young, dumb and horny, it's easier to ignore those things simply because the sex is good...

 

Mr. Lucky

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Haaa, not me , l didn't need to get married just for that , matter of fact that was the down side, never understand people sayin stuff like that.

Same women forever , that alone is gonna lose it's shine very fast without all the other stuff, not to mention all the girls l couldn't chase anymore.

Thankfully l chose really well in all departments and for all the right reasons, it wasn't that with us.

But anyway , pf course l wanna choose just as well this time too if there is one.

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Tinder almost 10 months ago. No idea how because we live like 70km from each other and my range was 30 tops, but hey, it worked in the end.

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2.50 a gallon

Ex-Wife: I was living in a apartment complex and one day I struck up a friendship with this young boy age, under 10, when I offered to help him fix his bicycle. He and his older brother had just moved to the area from back east.

About 2 months later I had oral surgery and was taking it easy laying out by the pool, relaxing, taking in some rays and keeping cool with a pitcher of Margaritas. There were a lot of people enjoying the pool that day. The day before I had taught my little friend how to do a front flip when he dove into the water and on this day he was out practicing, actually showing off to his friends. Then I noticed this long legged goddess I had never seen before coming down the steps and going over to where my little friend had his towel. Then I hear her telling him to introduce her and the next thing I know this well built strawberry blonde is standing in front of my recliner and my little friend is saying I want you to meet my sister M.

My drink was about empty but I stuck it out for 15 minutes in order to talk and gawk. When I said I needed to go back to my apartment, to refresh my drink she asked if she could come with.

In my apartment I had a little bar, topped off with a sign, "Make me an offer I can't refuse." Which she read out load and added "How about these" and took off the top off of her bathing suit. I was looking at a couple of none droopy D's. Three years later we were married

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