Author Livyk101 Posted March 14, 2019 Author Share Posted March 14, 2019 He hid it from you and chose communicating with her over you/your relationship. His alliance is with her. That tells you everything you might wonder about. Yes i know. He has had almost a week under pressure to come clean of whatever is going on bit he hasnt. Sigh. I know it doesn't look good amd i do want to believe that he is honest, but yes he is an accomplished liar. And i cant live with that.....if i dont end up with a reasonable explanation without prompting it will be the end. Even if i do, it will probably be the end. Just feel terrible for my beautiful kids who will be the true casualties of all this. Thanks so much for weighing in everyone! Input and advice is very welcome!!! Ultimately, i know that relationships are completely subjective and i will make my own decisions, but i really value hearing other peoples perspectives, insights, and experiences. Oh amd good call!!! I've booked in with my doctor for an std test Link to post Share on other sites
Mrs._December Posted March 14, 2019 Share Posted March 14, 2019 You want something a lot closer to the truth than the bull**** he's been trying to feed you? Book a polygraph test. Regardless of public opinion and those who claim that polys aren't true science and that they're not admissible in court and blah blah blah, the truth is, they've been around forever and DO have value. The value for you in booking a poly is the INTIMIDATION FACTOR - that's where you get your real power. To the average layman whose never even seen what a polygraph testing unit looks like, that's enough to put the fear of God into them. Often, once they know a poly is booked, you start getting 'mini' confessions - things they lied about before but start telling you now. It won't be the whole truth - it won't even be close to the whole truth, but they're hoping that with each tidbit they confess to you, you'll THINK you've finally gotten the whole truth and will call off the poly. There's also the infamous 'parking lot confession.' That's when they continue their lies right up until the day of the poly and after driving there, they give you a mini confession right before walking into the building - again, hoping you'll cancel the test. They know they're about to be exposed for the liars they are and that they're out of time. But again, the parking lot confession is usually not the entire truth - just a tidbit. Don't call it off. No matter HOW many 'confessions' he gives you after you book it or even if you get a parking lot confession. Because there's always more that they haven't told you. There's always, ALWAYS more. Book the poly and DON'T cancel it. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted March 14, 2019 Share Posted March 14, 2019 I've booked in with my doctor for an std test Good plan. Your next call should probably be to a lawyer, to learn more about what you can expect if you divorce which will allow you to start making an exit plan. I’m sorry. Take care of those kids. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Poutrew Posted March 14, 2019 Share Posted March 14, 2019 If it comes to the point where you absolutely must spill the beans, do NOT tell him about the tracker. Instead you can say a 'friend' saw you going to her house in the daytime, and decided that you needed to know... see what lie he spins. Unless your man is Jesus Christ, he has more than an interest in her spiritual well being - unless Jesus want to dabble in bondage with a prostitute... you might want to look up numbers he has dialed in the cell phone record to get an idea of how many calls he has made to her. Also, like others have said, placing a voice activated recorder in his car might tell you if he has a burner phone and what he is really saying. You can get one that looks like a USB stick from Amazon for around $30. One wife on this board a year or so ago put one of these in her husband's briefcase, and he never know how she found out the things she did... I have a feeling you need to prepare yourself for some really bad news... Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted March 14, 2019 Share Posted March 14, 2019 The fact that he is bending over backwards to try to make up for a trivial argument is also a sign of guilt. He feels bad about what he is doing so he's trying to kiss your arse out of guilt. If this woman is a mutual friend why didn't you call her and ask her why she's leaning on your husband instead of you? I would have told her I'm privy to the conversations she's had regarding prostitution and bondage with my husband and I think it is disrespectful and inappropriate. Tell her to cease. If she tells your husband what you said and he gets angry with you - make all hell break loose. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Livyk101 Posted March 14, 2019 Author Share Posted March 14, 2019 The fact that he is bending over backwards to try to make up for a trivial argument is also a sign of guilt. He feels bad about what he is doing so he's trying to kiss your arse out of guilt. If this woman is a mutual friend why didn't you call her and ask her why she's leaning on your husband instead of you? I would have told her I'm privy to the conversations she's had regarding prostitution and bondage with my husband and I think it is disrespectful and inappropriate. Tell her to cease. If she tells your husband what you said and he gets angry with you - make all hell break loose. Yes i agree about him feeling guilty. This may or may not be related to the current situation though, as he has never felt like he is enough....major self esteem issues from a young age that we cant seem to heal. I dont feel the need to defend myself about not interveening sooner. Thanks for the suggestion pf a polygraph. I will keep that idea in my back pocket, although i doubt it will get that far. Keep the advice coming! A lawyer is definatley on the cards. I guess im hoping it will all be amicable and we can do all of that together? Im surprisingly not angry, just grief stricken and ready to move on. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted March 15, 2019 Share Posted March 15, 2019 I wasn't asking you to defend yourself but stand up for yourself and for your marriage. This woman should be put in her place. Link to post Share on other sites
Mrs._December Posted March 15, 2019 Share Posted March 15, 2019 The fact that he is bending over backwards to try to make up for a trivial argument is also a sign of guilt. Kinda doubtful. It's all about covering his ASS, that's Job #1 for cheaters. Otherwise, his 'guilt' would drive him to tell her what he's really been doing, and all she's been getting from him is lies, lies and more lies. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Livyk101 Posted March 16, 2019 Author Share Posted March 16, 2019 UpDATE Well i guess is holding hands with jesus or whatever that ppster said, because he is NOT CHEATING with her We talked lqst night...i started by asking if he ever has to leave work during the day amd he said not often but he has a couple of times recently....I asked who for and h said to go to this womans house.... BuT...heres the clincher none of us thought of...HE WAS COUNSELLING her husband. He proved it rught awqy with appointment slips, bills and messages. He says he would never go see a woman alome and really doesnt go see people but this is someone he knows and he was totally broken down..... So now im just a douche who puts a gps in her husbands car. No, i have reasons to have trust issues and we are going to work together to solve thwm.....even though we have 3 young kids and very little time!!! Thanks all 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Thegameoflife Posted March 18, 2019 Share Posted March 18, 2019 If it comes to the point where you absolutely must spill the beans, do NOT tell him about the tracker. Instead you can say a 'friend' saw you going to her house in the daytime, and decided that you needed to know... see what lie he spins. Unless your man is Jesus Christ, he has more than an interest in her spiritual well being - unless Jesus want to dabble in bondage with a prostitute... you might want to look up numbers he has dialed in the cell phone record to get an idea of how many calls he has made to her. Also, like others have said, placing a voice activated recorder in his car might tell you if he has a burner phone and what he is really saying. You can get one that looks like a USB stick from Amazon for around $30. One wife on this board a year or so ago put one of these in her husband's briefcase, and he never know how she found out the things she did... I have a feeling you need to prepare yourself for some really bad news... In both Canada and the USA, it is illegal to record a conversation you are not part of without consent. If this was ever discovered, lets say under oath, when a judge asks how you obtained your evidence, you could face several years in prison. In Canada, you could get a max of 5 years, while it varies depending on the state in the USA. Learn the laws before you deploy some James Bond spy tactics. Link to post Share on other sites
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