Author yololin Posted March 10, 2019 Author Share Posted March 10, 2019 That’s a whole lot of mental gymnastics to justify your lack of honesty to these girls. Dude, you are in an open relationship - the only thing is, not all the parties are aware of this because you haven’t been honest. You’re not even willing to admit the truth to yourself. As to the fact that this guy isn’t aware that she is taken... you have no right to expect something from someone that you are not willing to give yourself. This is all kinds of messed up. I've learned that I can't expect anything of anyone. I can't push, demand or make any kind of request that isn't already given of their own volition. If she chooses to persue this ice skating guy, I'll simply break up with her. If both leave, then so be it. Gotta let birds fly. Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted March 10, 2019 Share Posted March 10, 2019 What you're doing to these girls is really pretty crummy. I hope for their sake you are using protection. God forbid you end up fathering their children. Link to post Share on other sites
FMW Posted March 10, 2019 Share Posted March 10, 2019 My feelings have mostly been expressed by the other posters, but two things - (1) Your nonchalance about STDs is really frightening. It's not just about you - if these girls think you are being sexually monogamous you are putting them at risk as well, without their knowledge. (2) Enjoy it while it lasts. The clock is ticking. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted March 10, 2019 Share Posted March 10, 2019 Your nonchalance about STDs is really frightening. It's not just about you - if these girls think you are being sexually monogamous you are putting them at risk as well, without their knowledge.. I completely agree. In fact, you nonchalance about the whole situation is pretty frightening. It shows a total lack of consideration for anyone but yourself and a total lack of respect for these women. Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted March 10, 2019 Share Posted March 10, 2019 It's not just about you This is worth repeating. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted March 10, 2019 Share Posted March 10, 2019 Cheating is a refuge for weak hearted people who choose their own selfish needs over people they claim to love. In a nutshell. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted March 10, 2019 Share Posted March 10, 2019 You can't do this forever. There will be a day where there is a situation that tips them off that you have been dating someone at the same time. What you haven't considered is the emotional impact this will have on them. They will have trouble trusting men, will have poor dating experiences because they are carrying that hurt/mistrust, etc. all because of your actions. Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted March 10, 2019 Share Posted March 10, 2019 I went through the worst breakup ever last year and I thought I would never recover. I have issues, I need to be in a position of safety, because from my past relationships. I can't expect other people to take care of me. I have to take care of myself, using my head, and in the meantime, I try to care for others as much as possible. Isn't what I'm doing normal in American dating culture? Dating multiple people simultaneously?. No, it’s not normal. Multidating may occur early in a relationship, but people usually end the practice when they commit to another individual because to continue is hurtful to the other person. And if multidating, best practice is to be honest with the other individuals - if for no other reason than it puts their health at risk. The hurt that you have felt from other individuals in the past, you are now inflicting on others - and that is not ok. The “victim” has now become the victimizer. Again, it’s not all about you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted March 11, 2019 Share Posted March 11, 2019 Yololin - I really think you might benefit from individual counseling (IC) to help you figure out how to feel secure in a single relationship. Whatever happens with the current GFs, if/when you decide to marry this could become an even bigger problem. Strongly suggest you consider this. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
crispytoast Posted March 14, 2019 Share Posted March 14, 2019 Isn't what I'm doing normal in American dating culture? Dating multiple people simultaneously? Dating multiple people simultaneously is called polyamory and it requires honesty and openness between partners. It's not normal in American dating culture but it is becoming more accepted. And what you are doing isn't polyamory, it's just cheating and it's a little scummy. Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted March 15, 2019 Share Posted March 15, 2019 Wow... you're running fast from something... The truth will always out when you can least afford to be outted... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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