Wants to be with me but doesn't want to get hurt....

[stillafool]

It was a rude way to ask her to get her things and uncalled for since she was honest with you how she felt. She knows you were just pissed because she wouldn't let you put your arm around and act like you guys were still dating. Why are you spying on her social media? That is why you are blocked.

[preraph]

Just for future reference, I don't know about everyone else, but me personally, I really hate it when my friends talk to someone I am or was dating about me or vice versa. If they do it after it's over, I feel the friend is betraying me and the guy is getting into creeper territory.

 

And realistically, anytime you're getting or giving second-hand information, it is not going to arrive at its destination in the exact context you hoped to convey it, so it's risky business to boot.

[smackie9]

She blocked you because you stepped over the line by inquiring about her relationship status through her friend....she wants you to move on already. TBH I would be pissed off about it too that some guy I only sort of dated for a short while, was, 2 months later, still sniffing around.

[Marty7787]

Just for future reference, I don't know about everyone else, but me personally, I really hate it when my friends talk to someone I am or was dating about me or vice versa. If they do it after it's over, I feel the friend is betraying me and the guy is getting into creeper territory.

 

And realistically, anytime you're getting or giving second-hand information, it is not going to arrive at its destination in the exact context you hoped to convey it, so it's risky business to boot.

 

 

That's so true, I suppose I shouldn't have asked if she has met anyone, not my business to know, it was meant as a completely innocent question, but I suppose the friend of the ex could have read absolutely anything into it.

[Marty7787]

It was a rude way to ask her to get her things and uncalled for since she was honest with you how she felt. She knows you were just pissed because she wouldn't let you put your arm around and act like you guys were still dating. Why are you spying on her social media? That is why you are blocked.

 

I wasn't, I was looking for a contact on whatsapp and noticed that her picture was missing, that's when I looked at the Instagram and Facebook accounts (I don't actually use either so it's no loss).

[Marty7787]

Could someone answer this real quick question for me...

 

I was at a pub having breakfast last week, and I got chatting with the waitress and we had a bit of flirty banter between us, I'm pretty sure she was interested in me, as she kept on giving me a flirtatious look and smile everytime she went past. I had to rush off so I didn't get her number, but I've been since but she wasn't working, would it be weird if I left her my number with one of the other staff, if the next time I pop in she isn't working.

[preraph]

Could someone answer this real quick question for me...

 

I was at a pub having breakfast last week, and I got chatting with the waitress and we had a bit of flirty banter between us, I'm pretty sure she was interested in me, as she kept on giving me a flirtatious look and smile everytime she went past. I had to rush off so I didn't get her number, but I've been since but she wasn't working, would it be weird if I left her my number with one of the other staff, if the next time I pop in she isn't working.

 

NO, don't do that! If she does date a customer, she won't want anyone else she works with to know.

 

Also, not saying not to give her your number sometime, but please be aware that servers are paid to be nice and smiley to everyone. It's how they make money.

 

I'm a 66 year old woman who goes to nice restaurants a lot, usually alone. If you saw how most of my servers treat me at my favorite place and then randomly at some others and you didn't know I was an old lady, you'd think they were definitely flirting. I mean, just big smile and often paying extra attention to me and making personal conversation.

 

So if you go in there and give her your number and then nothing, it will probably ruin your favorite place for you.

 

I used to take this 50 year old woman with big fake boobs who used to be a stripper to my favorite restaurant and at the time there was this cute guy there, 30 years younger than her, of course. She was always being salacious (she was married, happily, apparently) and made one of those cliche dessert comments to him one day flirting. I quit taking here there and apologized to him and he told me it's just constant getting hit on -- and this was a nice respectable restaurant. He was so sick of it. So just be aware it's their job. And if you leave your number and nothing comes of it, then you'll probably not want to go back and just weigh all that.

[Marty7787]

NO, don't do that! If she does date a customer, she won't want anyone else she works with to know.

 

Also, not saying not to give her your number sometime, but please be aware that servers are paid to be nice and smiley to everyone. It's how they make money.

 

I'm a 66 year old woman who goes to nice restaurants a lot, usually alone. If you saw how most of my servers treat me at my favorite place and then randomly at some others and you didn't know I was an old lady, you'd think they were definitely flirting. I mean, just big smile and often paying extra attention to me and making personal conversation.

 

So if you go in there and give her your number and then nothing, it will probably ruin your favorite place for you.

 

I used to take this 50 year old woman with big fake boobs who used to be a stripper to my favorite restaurant and at the time there was this cute guy there, 30 years younger than her, of course. She was always being salacious (she was married, happily, apparently) and made one of those cliche dessert comments to him one day flirting. I quit taking here there and apologized to him and he told me it's just constant getting hit on -- and this was a nice respectable restaurant. He was so sick of it. So just be aware it's their job. And if you leave your number and nothing comes of it, then you'll probably not want to go back and just weigh all that.

 

 

Advice took on board, but it's only a Weatherspoons pub, the staff are pleasant, but there's no reason for them to be nice as they can't get anything out of you, you pay for everything in advance. I think she was being genuine in her interest, but I'll make sure I ask for her number in person. It would 100% be better.

[preraph]

Advice took on board, but it's only a Weatherspoons pub, the staff are pleasant, but there's no reason for them to be nice as they can't get anything out of you, you pay for everything in advance. I think she was being genuine in her interest, but I'll make sure I ask for her number in person. It would 100% be better.

 

Yet, they wouldn't have a job if they were surly to customers, so just be aware. Most bosses at retail places require their employees to be very polite and friendly. Especially at any drinking establishment. Women are usually one of the main draws, you know.

 

Good luck though. You never know.

[Marty7787]

Yet, they wouldn't have a job if they were surly to customers, so just be aware. Most bosses at retail places require their employees to be very polite and friendly. Especially at any drinking establishment. Women are usually one of the main draws, you know.

 

Good luck though. You never know.

 

Thank you. Have you ever been to a Weatherspoons pub? It's the only place for alcoholics to drink that early in the morning, so it's that sort of clientele. :laugh:

 

A man about 50 tried to pick her up and it was the most shambolic pick up attempt I ever saw, she came to clear my table away, and I said to her, that I wanted to have a quick chat, but after witnessing that horror show, it's probably put you off men for a while, and she laughed and we had a quick chat, then she came back later and I introduced myself properly and we had another flirt, then she came back again and I was about to ask for her number when the guy from the other table butted in too which she walked away. Once he had gone, she cleared away his empty glasses and noticed he left the newspaper out with his number written on, and she flashed it at me and said, look, I've pulled. Too which I replied, wow, lucky you. Then I got my call and had to leave before asking her. In between those interactions, she kept walking past, looking at me and giving me those flirty/shy smiles girls do.

 

I'm going with my gut and saying that she enjoyed it.

 

I feel so confident in myself lately, and I'm chatting to girls a lot more and being a lot more flirtatious, too which a lot of girls seem to open up and allow a decent interaction with.

[frus69]

I dont see no harm. Leave the number if you like. Or just go there often and try catch her next time and ask her out

[Marty7787]

Back again!!

 

I walked into the local (pub) on the Saturday, I walked past but within about 2 foot of the ex, but didn't look at her, and just carried on, through the night, I kept sensing her eyes burning into me, I caught her staring at me a few times. Whenever I looked round towards her, her eyes would always jump away from my gaze.

 

She didn't look happy with life if i'm being honest, and I'm back to my usual happy and smiling self.

 

The reason I'm posting this is because I'd like to know what shes thinking, Is she jealous, has she not moved on, does she want to get back together, does she hate me, does she think shes made a mistake in leaving me?

 

I know she still hasn't been with anyone since we split and she has spent most of her time in her room watching Netflix.

 

It felt nice, seeing her and not being attracted.

[olivetree]

No one knows the answers to your questions but her.

But if I was to take a guess... she doesn't want to be together or you would have heard from her.

If I were her, even if I didn't want you, I'd be noticing you too because it's an awkward situation.

[kendahke]

She said that she did want a relationship but changed her mind after something her sister said to her.

 

Immature people who don't know their own mind run their relationship business past their committee and that committee votes on the viability of the relationship--has nothing to do with what she wants. She's more concerned in fitting in with her friends' expectations, hence her sister, who has nothing to do with your involvement, putting the kibosh on your fledgling relationship.

[smackie9]

Maybe she got fired.

[ExpatInItaly]

The reason I'm posting this is because I'd like to know what shes thinking, Is she jealous, has she not moved on, does she want to get back together, does she hate me, does she think shes made a mistake in leaving me?

 

We can't really even begin to guess the answers to the above questions.

 

She was probably curious to see you out. Whether or not she has any regrets is impossible to ascertain. You two didn't interact at all so we can't make any assumptions either way.

 

However, I do think it's a huge stretch to assume she didn't look happy with her life, based on this one night, OP. For all you know, she was pissed off with a friend, not feeling well, had a fight with a guy she's been talking to, was stressed about something - you have absolutely no way of knowing what's up with her these days that might have influenced her facial expressions on one specific night.

 

What you're doing there is projecting your hope that she's not happy without you, because that in turn gives you hope that she wants you back. Unless and until you hear from her that she wants another chance, you're best not to read into such flimsy and vague signals that might have nothing to do with you at all.

[Marty7787]

We can't really even begin to guess the answers to the above questions.

 

She was probably curious to see you out. Whether or not she has any regrets is impossible to ascertain. You two didn't interact at all so we can't make any assumptions either way.

 

However, I do think it's a huge stretch to assume she didn't look happy with her life, based on this one night, OP. For all you know, she was pissed off with a friend, not feeling well, had a fight with a guy she's been talking to, was stressed about something - you have absolutely no way of knowing what's up with her these days that might have influenced her facial expressions on one specific night.

 

What you're doing there is projecting your hope that she's not happy without you, because that in turn gives you hope that she wants you back. Unless and until you hear from her that she wants another chance, you're best not to read into such flimsy and vague signals that might have nothing to do with you at all.

 

Hi, thanks for the reply, You're right and I needed someone to tell me. I definitely read too much into it.

[spiderowl]

The subjects that people tend to bring up in interviews and dates often give a clue as to what is on their minds. For example, the interviewer who asks if you have any ideas for filing systems is probably aware that they have a horrendous mess of documents back in the office that they want sorted out once and for all.

 

I find it helpful to reverse what someone says. For example, a guy who complains that women always cheat on him I feel is letting slip that he is a cheater. He felt compelled to talk about cheating and this is a more acceptable way to do it. It also makes you feel sympathy for him.

 

I feel this girl is doing something similar and that she is saying she needs to break up with you because she doesn't want to hurt YOU. She can sense you are getting more involved and does not feel that herself so she is putting a stop to it before you get too serious.

 

A 10-year age gap is significant when you are in your early 20s. You are ready to find 'the one' and settle down; she is probably ready to find out who she is and 'play the field' before settling down.

 

I don't think there is any point reassuring her. Instead, it would be best if you detached yourself because she is only going to feel pressured and you are only going to be hurt.

[basil67]

I walked into the local (pub) on the Saturday, I walked past but within about 2 foot of the ex, but didn't look at her, and just carried on, through the night, I kept sensing her eyes burning into me, I caught her staring at me a few times. Whenever I looked round towards her, her eyes would always jump away from my gaze.

 

I would imagine that her behaviour came from the fact that you were rude to her. If you meet an ex somewhere unexpectedly, basic courtesy should be extended. I'd probably send a death stare too if I was treated as if I don't exist.

[lurker74]

Back again!!

 

The reason I'm posting this is because I'd like to know what shes thinking, Is she jealous, has she not moved on, does she want to get back together, does she hate me, does she think shes made a mistake in leaving me?

 

 

Trying to be gentle here. The reason that she broke up with you, besides the age difference (or at least the stage of life difference) is because you were and likely remain more invested that she. Take to heart the lesson of the break up...do not become a too invested than your partner until way down the line. You told her that you caught feelings and her whole romantic, fun life flashed before her eyes and she subconsciously realized you were more invested, which sadly caused her to respect you less as a partner.

 

And your subsequent behavior - to tell her it could end after a few months or it could end after marriage and kids doubled down. Then you tripled down by getting angry at her for blowing you off instead of laughing it off. And now you STILL want her approval.

 

It is true that we all kind of want our exes to want us even if we don't want them but you are still very invested in her esteem, even if that esteem is only enough that you want her to regret the way she treated you. It just doesn't matter and I will tell you...when it just doesn't matter to me, exes come crawling back more often than not. But since I don't care, it doesn't work for them (well, except one, but she was what I thought was the love of my life).

[TheFinalWord]

You are asking her friends if she met anyone new? Yeah, she's going to block you because you're making her scared. You told her to get her stuff out of your house (you cursed at her).

 

What you needed to do was back way off as soon as she said anything about not wanting a relationship. But instead you went into fear mode and tried putting your arm around her, asking her friends about her...you gotta remember, you're older than her, bigger than her, stronger than her. You cussed her out and are asking her friends about her. She wants you to back way off. You aren't getting the hint so she's blocking you everywhere.