Author thr1986 Posted February 22, 2019 Author Share Posted February 22, 2019 another thing she doesn’t is she brings up things she wants (material goods) then she asks me to go with her to look at them. Then she talks about how she can’t afford them. When she says she can’t afford them I say “ok so let’s skip going to look at them” and then she’s always liken no I wanna go. So I’m like ok sure I’ll go with you. It just feels a little bit like she’s hoping I will say ok I’ll offer to buy them for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Orokotikki Posted February 22, 2019 Share Posted February 22, 2019 another thing she doesn’t is she brings up things she wants (material goods) then she asks me to go with her to look at them. Then she talks about how she can’t afford them. When she says she can’t afford them I say “ok so let’s skip going to look at them” and then she’s always liken no I wanna go. So I’m like ok sure I’ll go with you. It just feels a little bit like she’s hoping I will say ok I’ll offer to buy them for you. No offense, but "duh". 1 Link to post Share on other sites
some_username1 Posted February 22, 2019 Share Posted February 22, 2019 I know it may be annoying to everyone that I keep asking these questions. But the tough part is that every time I address something she has a response that makes it seem harmless. Maybe I just donÂ’t know a normal relationship looks like. This girl can be very sweet. But maybe also this things IÂ’m describing are just too big of flags? Have you considered that the reason she has got all the answers is because she is very practiced at pulling this **** on people? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
some_username1 Posted February 22, 2019 Share Posted February 22, 2019 another thing she doesn’t is she brings up things she wants (material goods) then she asks me to go with her to look at them. Then she talks about how she can’t afford them. When she says she can’t afford them I say “ok so let’s skip going to look at them” and then she’s always liken no I wanna go. So I’m like ok sure I’ll go with you. It just feels a little bit like she’s hoping I will say ok I’ll offer to buy them for you. She wants she wants she wants. Honestly I've heard some stories on here but this one takes the cake. She wants 10k for IVF, material goods, meanwhile she can't shut up about some guy she met once and you are still with her because the sex is good?! Man alive, as a man much wiser than me once said: "P***y is a hell of a drug". Strewth! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted February 22, 2019 Share Posted February 22, 2019 Read up on "beta bucks". She very clearly sees you as the chump who's going to fill this role. Don't be that chump, or you'll most likely be back here down the line crying about how she destroyed you in divorce, while she skipped off into the sunset with her cash & prizes - straight out of your bank account. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author thr1986 Posted February 23, 2019 Author Share Posted February 23, 2019 I brought up the sex education/podcast event. I said that I thought it felt a little uncomfortable. I said that I felt it was uncomfortable for her to go on a recorded forum which would be made into a podcast and discuss a meaningful sexual/intimate encounter with another man. I reminded her of all the intimate sexual encounters her and I have had and asked why she wouldn’t describe one of those. She said “well this was a healing experience”. She sort of made me feel like I’m being too sensitive and being insecure to say something of disapproval of her doing that. Am I at fault? Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted February 24, 2019 Share Posted February 24, 2019 IMO this time in her life holds an extreme importance for her, more important than you and the relationship you have with her....in fact it's over shadowing it. She won't move on from it, instead she would rather relive it, over and over. This pod cast is her opportunity to have this memory preserved for generations to come. If you are looking for justification to end your relationship you have my blessing. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted February 24, 2019 Share Posted February 24, 2019 You should work on your self worth 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author thr1986 Posted February 25, 2019 Author Share Posted February 25, 2019 So, its inappropriate? We all agree correct? When I expressed an annoyance about it, she didn’t even say she was going to cancel it. Honestly, if the situation was reversed, I think I would have immediately canceled it just to make her feel better. Link to post Share on other sites
nodramallama Posted February 25, 2019 Share Posted February 25, 2019 What matters most here is how YOU feel about it. The fact that you don't value your feelings enough to see her for what she is - a user, is alarming. Look at the totality of what you've posted about in the short time you've been here - her pushing marriage, wanting you to pay for her IVF, taking you "window shopping" for things she can't afford, throwing her past sexual escapades in your face, and disregarding your feelings...the common denominator here is your low self worth. Any ONE of these things would be a deal breaker for most people. I'm with Marc here - please take some time for yourself and invest in your self worth. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mrs._December Posted February 25, 2019 Share Posted February 25, 2019 So, its inappropriate? We all agree correct? When I expressed an annoyance about it, she didn’t even say she was going to cancel it. Honestly, if the situation was reversed, I think I would have immediately canceled it just to make her feel better. Find your spine. You've been a FLOOR MAT for this woman who sees you as a wallet and a weak-willed schmuck whose only too happy to put up with her disrespect. So big deal, you've been getting lots of sex. As is the case with a lot of guys, when you're getting laid you tend to overlook a whole LOT of crap because .. well...you're getting laid. I can't imagine valuing sex over self respect, but lots of guys (and gals??) do it. I can't believe you think your biggest issue with this disrespectful user is her lame little podcast plan to brag about her magical 5-day love-fest with Dolph/Chad/Francois. Your much bigger issue is that she's still TEXTING the guy and you're so afraid of rocking the boat that you don't even call her on her ****. And yet, you're claiming you want to MARRY her???? It's one of two things - you're so grateful to be getting sex that you're willing to continually lower the bar in order to keep the Gravy Train running; or you think she's hotter than what you can normally ever get, so you're putting up with a lot more bull**** than you normally would. It's got to be one or the other. Or it could simply be that you don't respect yourself enough to demand better. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted February 25, 2019 Share Posted February 25, 2019 So, its inappropriate? We all agree correct? When I expressed an annoyance about it, she didn’t even say she was going to cancel it. Honestly, if the situation was reversed, I think I would have immediately canceled it just to make her feel better. Bud, you need to *listen* to what folks are saying around here. The telling stories is obnoxious, but forgivable, esp. if you're mutually sharing each other's stories as a form of intimacy (you're not). The telling about it at a forum is weird (I mean it was just a fling, right? Not worthy of telling the world) but a one-off, hopefully. Texting this same former lover during dinner with you to offer her emotional support is a HUGE F***ING RED FLAG WITH A SIREN ON TOP when put together with the other two. You must be seriously blinded by your emotions not to see this. My personal opinion: Enjoy this woman in the short term for what she may offer, but whatever else you do do not marry her! Link to post Share on other sites
JuneL Posted February 25, 2019 Share Posted February 25, 2019 Did you ask why she failed to manipulate the foreign guy into paying for her IVF and donating his sperm and paying child support for 18 years? I think people should check out his previous thread. This woman is BAD NEWS!!! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Viva_70 Posted February 25, 2019 Share Posted February 25, 2019 Every time when someone tries to make you jealous by bringing other people to the table, let them have the other people and RUN. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted February 25, 2019 Share Posted February 25, 2019 I think the question you should be asking this forum is "Why am I thinking about marrying a woman who has absolutely no respect for me and is looking to use me?" 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Juha Posted February 25, 2019 Share Posted February 25, 2019 I GIVE UP WITH YOU!!! Why are you on here asking about another situation where she disrespected you????? Man, I am starting to think you are playing this whole forum by pretending to act the fool. Part of me hopes you are really just messing around with us and what you are posting is not really happening to you. Have respect for yourself and dump this woman, very quickly, and very harshly. Do it today... Tell her you are done with her and give her the boot.. Get your self esteem back, you are like a jellyfish 1 Link to post Share on other sites
nodramallama Posted February 25, 2019 Share Posted February 25, 2019 magical 5-day love-fest with Dolph/Chad/Francois. :lmao::lmao: Link to post Share on other sites
Author thr1986 Posted February 25, 2019 Author Share Posted February 25, 2019 I am not playing any games with the forum. Thank you for your advice. Link to post Share on other sites
Author thr1986 Posted February 25, 2019 Author Share Posted February 25, 2019 This is not about the sex. I have no problem with that. My uncertainty is this... She brings up this guy, wants to go on a podcast to talk about him, yes I get it - it’s a little disrespectful. But also, she said that the reason she is going to tell the story on the podcast was to communicate that her experience with him was a healing experience from her divorce and that it opened her up to being able to be with someone again (me). I know this sounds like total BS but whatever it’s what she said so I’m accepting it. Maybe I’m just being too sensitive and making a big deal about something that maybe makes me jealous? I mean I’ve told her stories about past lovers. I personally wouldn’t go on a podcast and do it but whatever. Regarding the IVF stuff. She did ask me to be involved. She asked if I would want to fertilize an egg and then freeze it so we could have it for later in life. If I were to accept that offer, she said maybe I should pay for part of it so I have “skin in the game” were her exact words. I’m thinking about ending it. But before I do so, i want to make sure I’m not miscommunicating info here and failing to explain her reasoning. When you hear the reasoning it doesn’t sound as bad right? Still end the relationship?? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Viva_70 Posted February 25, 2019 Share Posted February 25, 2019 It really sounds bad actually... I don't think you are mis-communicating. She's getting you involved too much, too soon (it is borderline insane to ask you to give her sperm to fertilize her eggs for later in life after whooping 4-5 months of knowing you???? Doesn't even matter who pays for it, even if it's her 100%, it is not a game, it is creating a child you'd be liable for for 18 years......). The expensive stuff remarks, the podcast stuff (that doesn't even sound remotely plausible...)... RUN not walk. She is most likely sociopathic in some extent. What attracted you to her on first place, I'm curious? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted February 25, 2019 Share Posted February 25, 2019 (edited) ...she said that the reason she is going to tell the story on the podcast was to communicate that her experience with him was a healing experience from her divorce and that it opened her up to being able to be with someone again (me). I know this sounds like total BS... So you're seeing it too! Good! As to ending the relationship, IMO yes. In a situation like this, since apparently the sex is so good, you could consider turning the tables a bit and continuing to enjoy the relationship for a while. Just be up front that you consider marriage off the table. Be diplomatic in how you express this or she may simply walk. But also be honest about your intentions. Perhaps she'll stick around for a while. But it seems like the consensus around here is strongly that she is not a good LT partner/wife for you. You'd be wise to take that to heart. Edited February 25, 2019 by mark clemson Link to post Share on other sites
Author thr1986 Posted February 25, 2019 Author Share Posted February 25, 2019 It really sounds bad actually... I don't think you are mis-communicating. She's getting you involved too much, too soon (it is borderline insane to ask you to give her sperm to fertilize her eggs for later in life after whooping 4-5 months of knowing you???? Doesn't even matter who pays for it, even if it's her 100%, it is not a game, it is creating a child you'd be liable for for 18 years......). The expensive stuff remarks, the podcast stuff (that doesn't even sound remotely plausible...)... RUN not walk. She is most likely sociopathic in some extent. What attracted you to her on first place, I'm curious? What attracted me to her was this.... I live in NYC. I’m looking for a long term relationship. I’m tired of meaningless flings for sex, etc. When her and I met, it started with physical attraction, we have a lot of the same interests, we hung out a lot, we had fun hanging out, we just simply got along really well and I think we’re both on the same page regarding our desire for a meaningful relationship. We have a blast together. We have been spending all of our time together. Overall things are great. It’s these things scattered throughout the relationship that are bothering me like the podcast, the IVF (which she totally backed off about) and the me paying for everything issues (which I spoke to her about and she completely fixed). I just don’t want to end it and then feel bad that I ended it over stupid reasons like me being uncomfortable with her on a podcast. It does feel weird to me though that she is talking about marriage and kids and she hasn’t even introduced me to many of her friends yet. I’ve met only one friend. Also, she hasn’t met any of mine. It just seems out of order. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Viva_70 Posted February 25, 2019 Share Posted February 25, 2019 It does feel weird to me though that she is talking about marriage and kids and she hasn’t even introduced me to many of her friends yet. I’ve met only one friend. Also, she hasn’t met any of mine. It just seems out of order. It IS out of order. It makes no sense actually. Do you know her family? Does she know yours? Have you been on at least one trip together? If no, you're totally not at a point to discuss future except in some general terms fo what each of you expects individually. What is happening is probably both of you are willing to overlook flaws because of strong physical attraction and desire for LTR in general. But that's not a good ground, it's fantasy land more than anything. Hope I don't sound harsh, but I had a few experiences like this and they all ended pretty miserably around 1-1.5 year mark when things were getting real and the desire for relationship in general didn't coincide with desire for relationship with the particular person. She's raising too many red flags IMO. If you were just for casual FWB type of situation with her, I'd say enjoy it for a little longer, but as it is, my opinion is break it as soon as possible. You'd be more hurt if you need to do it 6 months down the line... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Noproblem Posted February 25, 2019 Share Posted February 25, 2019 But our sex is very good. We are extremely sexually active... I beg to differ if your sex is so good like you imagine why would not she talk about you in the sex education presentation?? Why that guy and not you. Time to stop deluding yourself and wake up. You are not good enough for her, either up your sexual performance ( which is something will be useful on the long run) or just leave her be, let her find her foreign guy and go! Link to post Share on other sites
Juha Posted February 25, 2019 Share Posted February 25, 2019 Man, Her reasons for anything do not matter at all. She can say whatever she needs so you will feel ok with everything. This relationship should have been ended already. You sound desperate about keeping her because you want a real relationship. This is not that! You don't even know her, her family, her friends and is talking marriage and kids??? Wake up, that is totally ridiculous!! This woman should have been dumped yesterday... I do not know what you are thinking about here. Dump her, then go on vacation to relax and get this woman out of your mind. You will be adding to your life by subtracting this woman from it. I wish you the best 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts