Deep_Thoughts

[The Dude Abides]

Hello OP

 

I second what many have suggested about cooling your jets until your divorce is finalized and you have had a bit of time fully 'on your own'. I can relate because many years ago I was in a daze following the demise of my first marriage. Fortunately, I muddled my way through and got out of it fairly quickly.

 

Another thought is to consider avoiding the use of social media and all these dating and hookup apps like Tinder. I am too old and missed the boat on social media and of course have no need for Tinder and the other apps out there, but every time I read something here on LS or hear a story locally about what is going on with these technology based things I am and can only say WTF ?! I will never believe that the path to finding a good and solid relationship with a loving partner/spouse.

 

If you can concentrate on things that have no qualifiers such as what your car is or your income, but instead are based on who you are and what you like to do, then your chances of finding someone special will rise immeasurably.

 

You also had other observations about women not needing men and the effects of feminism and so forth. My observation on this topic is that "liberated women" (for lack of a better word) are here to stay in our society, and we are all the better for it. Really. But that doesn't mean it is to the exclusion of a solid love affair for men and women, IMO. Mrs. Dude Abides and I have somehow put each other first for 25 years and not short-changed our careers, and still remained devoted to each other. Neither of us are of exceptional levels of intelligence, talent or financial success, but instead we just tried to do it and worked on it. I think if you find a woman who wants to try, that is far more significant than a woman whose priorities lie in depreciable material objects like cars, houses and so on.

[chillii]

Hello OP

 

I second what many have suggested about cooling your jets until your divorce is finalized and you have had a bit of time fully 'on your own'. I can relate because many years ago I was in a daze following the demise of my first marriage. Fortunately, I muddled my way through and got out of it fairly quickly.

 

Another thought is to consider avoiding the use of social media and all these dating and hookup apps like Tinder. I am too old and missed the boat on social media and of course have no need for Tinder and the other apps out there, but every time I read something here on LS or hear a story locally about what is going on with these technology based things I am and can only say WTF ?! I will never believe that the path to finding a good and solid relationship with a loving partner/spouse.

 

If you can concentrate on things that have no qualifiers such as what your car is or your income, but instead are based on who you are and what you like to do, then your chances of finding someone special will rise immeasurably.

 

You also had other observations about women not needing men and the effects of feminism and so forth. My observation on this topic is that "liberated women" (for lack of a better word) are here to stay in our society, and we are all the better for it. Really. But that doesn't mean it is to the exclusion of a solid love affair for men and women, IMO. Mrs. Dude Abides and I have somehow put each other first for 25 years and not short-changed our careers, and still remained devoted to each other. Neither of us are of exceptional levels of intelligence, talent or financial success, but instead we just tried to do it and worked on it. I think if you find a woman who wants to try, that is far more significant than a woman whose priorities lie in depreciable material objects like cars, houses and so on.

 

 

 

 

The last few lines there and lots of others in yours and the post above as well, hell yeah !!!

l really dunno why guys there even bother with less in a woman , l really don't.

Not to mention all the other stuff.

[Woggle]

Try to see women as no better or worse than men are. I was once in your boat and had a low opinion of women after my first divorce and a lifetime of being treated like crap but in the end I met a great woman and got out of that toxic mentality. Maybe I had to go through that to get to this point but it would not have been a good place to stay.

 

At the end of the day once your divorce is final and done focus on building up your life including, hobbies, career and general living and you should do much better. Once you stop giving women so much power over psyche and start seeing them as flesh and blood humans instead of either angels or demons then you should do much better.