Should my autistic brother date women who are also autistic or no?

[Wallysbears]

Autism has NOTHING to do with IQ. Not at ALL.

[elaine567]

I didn't get that quote from wiki.

It does seem to be very prevalent on Autism sites though so I suppose they have all got it wrong...

 

 

OK lets go to proper research

Individuals with HFASDs tend to be deficient in several social domains including social reciprocity, developing and maintaining peer relationships, and nonverbal cue use and recognition. Similarly, individuals with HFASDs have a higher incidence of comorbid conditions, including severe social anxiety and depression, than their typically developing peers. These deficits lead to impairment in social-emotional functioning that can have detrimental effects on quality of life.

Hardly "normal".

[alphamale]

Autism has NOTHING to do with IQ. Not at ALL.

 

indeed Wallysbears, my good friend Chip has an autistic daughter who is low functioning. She is very misbehaved and writes her name in feces on the bathroom wall. Her own mother could not take care of her. Her father could not take care of her. She now lives in Cincinnati in adult foster care meant for autistic people. She does have a great personality, however.

[littleblackheart]

Autism has NOTHING to do with IQ. Not at ALL.

 

Yes, it's common knowledge now. elaine's quote is very outdated and is only a layperson reference point. HFA isn't an actual medical diagnosis, just a short-hand.

 

When I was diagnosed a few years ago, I was never asked or tested for my IQ, nor was my son. This isn't actually part of the diagnostic process nowadays, and hasn't been for quite some time, for the simple reason that measuring IQ is notoriously difficult in autism.

[littleblackheart]

I didn't get that quote from wiki.

It does seem to be very prevalent on Autism sites though so I suppose they have all got it wrong...

 

 

OK lets go to proper research

 

Hardly "normal".

 

Your quote comes from this paper:

 

Emerging Perspectives on Adolescents

and Young Adults With High-

Functioning Autism Spectrum

Disorders, Violence, and Criminal Law

 

1. It references HFAs as being of average or above average intelligence, that is directly refuting your definition.

 

2. It has a specific scope.

 

3. It makes it seem like you haven't actually researched anything. You're just quoting bits of stuff that suit you without the background knowledge to back it up.

Edited March 10, 2019 by littleblackheart

[Wallysbears]

The general population has very little understanding at all about autism.

[littleblackheart]

The general population has very little understanding at all about autism.

 

Which would be fine if they didn't pretend to have any understanding or knowledge about it.

 

As if neurotypicals were all bright, smart, lawful, socially aware, mentally and emotionally healthy..

[elaine567]

I stand by the premise that High functioning autistic individuals are high functioning in respect of ASD and not in respect of the general population.

I see nothing that refutes that.

[Wallysbears]

I stand by the premise that High functioning autistic individuals are high functioning in respect of ASD and not in respect of the general population.

I see nothing that refutes that.

 

Want a list?

 

How is this. All individuals with “high functioning autism”

 

Dan Aykroyd – Comedic Actor

Hans Christian Andersen – Children’s Author

Benjamin Banneker – African American almanac author, surveyor, naturalist, and farmer

Susan Boyle – Singer

Tim Burton – Movie Director

Lewis Carroll – Author of “Alice in Wonderland”

Henry Cavendish – Scientist

Charles Darwin – Naturalist, Geologist, and Biologist

Emily Dickinson – Poet

Paul Dirac – Physicist

Albert Einstein – Scientist & Mathematician

Bobby Fischer – Chess Grandmaster

Bill Gates – Co-founder of the Microsoft Corporation

Temple Grandin – Animal Scientist

Daryl Hannah – Actress & Environmental Activist

Thomas Jefferson – Early American Politician

Steve Jobs – Former CEO of Apple

James Joyce – Author of “Ulysses”

Alfred Kinsey – Sexologist & Biologist

Stanley Kubrick – Film Director

Barbara McClintock – Scientist and Cytogeneticist

Michelangelo – Sculptor, Painter, Architect, Poet

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart – Classical Composer

Sir Isaac Newton – Mathematician, Astronomer, & Physicist

Jerry Seinfeld – Comedian

Satoshi Tajiri – Creator of Nintendo’s Pokémon

Nikola Tesla – Inventor

Andy Warhol – Artist

Ludwig Wittgenstein – Philosopher

William Butler Yeats – Poet

[littleblackheart]

Stand by whatever you want, elaine. You see nothing refuting it because you've not really researched it, experienced it, or even read the paper you quoted from.

 

Here is a link, explaining in detail the link between autism and intelligence, to start you off.

[ironpony]

assuming he is a virgin the problem with getting him laid (from a sex worker I assume) is that he will see how great sex is and start wanting it all the time. this will cause HUGE problems for you and the family.

 

 

I don't even know if an escort/call girl will accept him as a client

 

Yeah that's true, I wouldn't want him wanting it all the time and make things worse. I didn't mean that if I were to do it, that I would go to a sex worker or prostitute. I thought maybe out of friends, and there circles of friends, maybe there is a woman who would understand the situation and be okay to do it herself, without it being a prostitution situation, if she felt it was going to help (shrug).

 

 

OP, have you considered forums who are specifically geared towards families dealing with ASD ? They may have good insight into helping you and your parents deal with your brother's specific needs (not just the dating part), or at least offer some support.

 

Yeah I tried one forum that deals with autism and has autistic members, and there were actually more for the prostitution idea, since they said, sometimes, that's all we get, etc.

[littleblackheart]

I meant local forums for parents or family members, not those with autism themselves.

 

They may have tips for your brother to develop his life skills and social skills.

 

In any case, 'Getting a gf' won't happen in a vacuum (if it happens at all); he will need to develop some basic life skills and social skills first.

 

A good mix of well intentioned NT/ASD friends who have done it before and can lead the way could really make a difference (my lovely NT friends and sisters have been invaluable to me).

 

Basically, he needs his own support system that is not restricted to family.

 

With that said, society is a lot harsher on men than it is on women, from observation and experience. I don't know if that's bc NT men are less uptight or judgemental as a whole or bc ASD women have more opportunities to learn from a social group, or both.

 

Anyway. He's lucky to have a supportive brother.

[Dandelioness]

I think dating and finding the right person is hard for many people. Instead of having him look for a specific type of person, it's better for him to get involved within his community (jobs, volunteering, workshops, yoga, whatever) so he can meet people in general. Hopefully he'll find someone compatible. If not, unfortunately, this is a reality for many people. He can always build a social circle so he's not feeling so lonely.