Rayce Posted January 12, 2019 Share Posted January 12, 2019 No way I'm linking FB, linkedin, or anything else to a dating sight. Solid advice that I also follow. I have an email just for internet stuff and then a sperate one for personal/business stuff. I won't even link my FB to my linkedin… at the moment my FB is staying deactivated. Link to post Share on other sites
Wallysbears Posted January 12, 2019 Share Posted January 12, 2019 How old are you? Link to post Share on other sites
Rayce Posted January 12, 2019 Share Posted January 12, 2019 Actually the military guy that catfished me was from my last experience on match.com that was about 3 years ago. Not sure who your asking but I am 57. Link to post Share on other sites
nospam99 Posted January 12, 2019 Share Posted January 12, 2019 Sample contact message I sent a couple of weeks ago. Some of the references are specific to the way match.com works. She read and did not respond. Hi [name redacted]. You showed up today in my Match Picks search, which is 'supposed to' mean that the site decided (some computer program I bet) that I'd like you. From what I see, they got that right AND they report a Mutual Match for 'us' so ... I'm (obviously) writing. I see you mentioned hiking and kayaking in your 'essay', though left them out of your list of interests - no problem, just made me read to find other fun things to potentially do together. So I certainly 'see' enough for me to want to meet you and find out more. What do YOU think about that? Link to post Share on other sites
Rayce Posted January 12, 2019 Share Posted January 12, 2019 ok... so leave out the stuff that says a computer matched you up. We want to know that you matched us up... not a computer program. Leave out the stuff about what you "thought" was wrong with her profile... like I see you mentioned hiking and kayaking in your 'essay', though left them out of your list of interests - no problem, Other than that... it looks great! Make it a positive. Mention that you like hiking and kayaking instead... maybe mention your last outing doing this type of activity. Link to post Share on other sites
Normm Posted January 12, 2019 Share Posted January 12, 2019 Here's what I think of online dating from my experience using dating sites. They don't work for most people. Your thinking suffers from a logical fallacy. You are generalizing your own personal experience to "most" people. Can you imagine where a clinical trial is done on a new drug with only one study participant and the conclusion is drawn that it won't work for most people because the one person that did the clinical study didn't show any improvement. I have had very good experiences with online dating- never a shortage of available dates, I've had a half a dozen relationships of months to years from online dating including the 7 year relationship I'm in right now. So between you and me, online dating is about 50/50 as far as success goes. Link to post Share on other sites
nospam99 Posted January 12, 2019 Share Posted January 12, 2019 (edited) ok... so leave out the stuff that says a computer matched you up. We want to know that you matched us up... not a computer program. LOL. I'm not comfortable lying. This is match.com. OF COURSE the computer program put her, or any other woman, 'on my radar'. Even using the Match Picks, I get more than 600 hits. If I was going to have to filter that many profiles on my own without a software assist, I'd give up and resign myself to a life of singledom However I'll take your (female) advice under consideration and try to make up some alternative (weaselly) explanation for why I've singled a particular woman out. Edited January 12, 2019 by nospam99 Link to post Share on other sites
chillii Posted January 12, 2019 Share Posted January 12, 2019 Remember, this was back in the day and things might be different now, but it was common for "requirements" to be nice car, financially secure, a certain height, full head of hair, etc etc. They're pretty easy to spot. And even if some don't put that stuff online in their profile or requirements, by the first or second date if they're asking about my investment portfolio that told me all I needed to know. These were often the very same women who complained that men were shallow. But, to re-iterate, I met some lovely women while online dating and don't regret it one bit. They weren't all entitled gold-diggers. But there were more than a few. Yeah right . When l was on one you'd see that sorta thing between the lines with some but not many actually said it and none to that detailed degree. Nice to hear you met some nice women anyway so did l and l think that's the thing isn't it. Your gonna see all the crap and they're very easy to spot so l just kept walkin. But not everyone's like that and on mine among it all there was also some great ladies hidden away . Link to post Share on other sites
Wallysbears Posted January 12, 2019 Share Posted January 12, 2019 Sample contact message I sent a couple of weeks ago. Some of the references are specific to the way match.com works. She read and did not respond. Hi [name redacted]. You showed up today in my Match Picks search, which is 'supposed to' mean that the site decided (some computer program I bet) that I'd like you. From what I see, they got that right AND they report a Mutual Match for 'us' so ... I'm (obviously) writing. I see you mentioned hiking and kayaking in your 'essay', though left them out of your list of interests - no problem, just made me read to find other fun things to potentially do together. So I certainly 'see' enough for me to want to meet you and find out more. What do YOU think about that? Let me edit this for you: Kayaking and hiking? Have you ever gone to X spot? I was there last year and it was awesome! I especially liked ABC. How is your weekend? Link to post Share on other sites
Rayce Posted January 12, 2019 Share Posted January 12, 2019 I like that much better... still it needs an introduction. Hi [name redacted] my name isnospam99, you landed in my picks and (say something about whatever caught your eye) I wanted to introduce myself. Link to post Share on other sites
Wallysbears Posted January 12, 2019 Share Posted January 12, 2019 I like that much better... still it needs an introduction. Hi [name redacted] my name isnospam99, you landed in my picks and (say something about whatever caught your eye) I wanted to introduce myself. I disagree. It’s nonsense words that mean nothing and have no value. Link to post Share on other sites
chillii Posted January 12, 2019 Share Posted January 12, 2019 Based on what you've written here, in my OLD days I'd respond to your profile, almost regardless of picture. (A third eye might be a turn-off, but other than that...) It's very unfortunate that OLD seems to have taken a dark, even malevolent, turn. I guess it started like Facebook, in a sense. The potential for good was so vast, and yet it's all gone to shyt. Frankly, I'm glad I'm not dating anymore. Have things gotten worse over the years? Or has it always been like this and we're suffering from recency bias? (That is, things more recent seem new and unique even if they're simply re-hashing of old problems) Yeah sorta why l still hang out in these types of forums and l have the time as we spend a lot of our time just loling around haha. For some strange stupid reason l'm fascinated with the whole singles thing out there these days, l obviously need my head read but ahwell. But yeah , things certainly seem to have taken some tricky and nasty turns these days. Thankfully here we're still often old school and things are still pretty basic , but l still wouldn't wanna be in it again. Link to post Share on other sites
chillii Posted January 12, 2019 Share Posted January 12, 2019 (edited) Your thinking suffers from a logical fallacy. You are generalizing your own personal experience to "most" people. Can you imagine where a clinical trial is done on a new drug with only one study participant and the conclusion is drawn that it won't work for most people because the one person that did the clinical study didn't show any improvement. I have had very good experiences with online dating- never a shortage of available dates, I've had a half a dozen relationships of months to years from online dating including the 7 year relationship I'm in right now. So between you and me, online dating is about 50/50 as far as success goes. Yep l agree and l try to encourage people to keep the faith among all the crap because it does happen. Heard too many happy endings now to right it off. Yaknow , it doesn't mean they can't just go on with their life and everything else they do too or can't still meet people out there and around, but imo OLD it is just well worth a look in too if they feel inclined. And it does have some benefits too like you know anyone decent is single and looking for the same thing. You can also learn a bit about someone straight off the bat from their page right there. Pretty hard to get things like that straight off out in the real world. Edited January 12, 2019 by chillii Link to post Share on other sites
Joyce Simmons Posted January 13, 2019 Share Posted January 13, 2019 The only reason I did online dating like 6-7 years ago was because I never went out, I had no social like whatsoever, no friends to hang out, go to parties with. And no way of meeting guys. I live near the city so it’s not that hard to go downtown for events and socials. Now that I’m venturing off attempting to go to events I would rather meet someone the old fashion way. I wonder if this is also true for other women, that did online dating because they have no friends, no social life, don’t go out, etc, etc. Link to post Share on other sites
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