Drive-by's

[Fair]

yea, maybe he's taking a new route to work or something?

 

I mean, this is statement... come on, do you really think so? First off, he doesn't have a job... second of all nobody drives past someone's house for hours unless they're obsessed.

 

Why, may I ask, are you insisting this is MY problem? You seem to have taken a rather hostile stance.

 

Just because a situation isn't dangerous doesn't make it pleasant or acceptable or something I should just have to put up with.

[Fair]

I think the better word, other than stalking, is harassment.

 

I really don't know what to do. Maybe I'll get a third party to tell him to stop, but not the police. I feel like he's trying to get me to break no contact with his annoying behaviour and I don't want to give him that.

Edited March 14, 2019 by Fair

[preraph]

Stalking and harassment are all covered by the same state laws. He's spying on you.

[assertives]

I think the better word, other than stalking, is harassment.

 

I really don't know what to do. Maybe I'll get a third party to tell him to stop, but not the police. I feel like he's trying to get me to break no contact with his annoying behaviour and I don't want to give him that.

 

If he's doing this to get you to break no contact, you getting a random 3rd party will probably result in him doing it even more often. You don't really have much options other than to ignore and choose to see it as part of your daily dose of amusement until he gets tired of it. But seems like he's in it for the long haul.

[chillii]

I think the better word, other than stalking, is harassment.

 

I really don't know what to do. Maybe I'll get a third party to tell him to stop, but not the police. I feel like he's trying to get me to break no contact with his annoying behaviour and I don't want to give him that.

 

 

 

 

Sorry it's still going on and nope l certainly don't think it's you with the problem , it would creep most people out even as a guy.

There's some crazy women out there too that won't let go , l had one doing walk bys once at all hours.

l know you don't want contact and l'm not sure if this is a good idea or not.

But maybe you should send him a very brief text that you consider his bs harassment and your going to the cops if he doesn't stop.

They'd probly go knock on his door and talk to him and that'd be enough to stop most sane people.

[basil67]

There. He just did it again as I was typing this... I just glanced up...

 

Pull the blinds! If he knows you're not seeing him, he'll get bored with it and give up.

[BaileyB]

But maybe you should send him a very brief text that you consider his bs harassment and your going to the cops if he doesn't stop.

They'd probly go knock on his door and talk to him and that'd be enough to stop most sane people.

 

Exactly this. Pull the blinds and ignore him. If he continues, then you have to take it further.

 

Having the police knock on your door would be a deterrent for most everyone.

 

You don’t seem to be willing to take any of the advice offered... so, I don’t see much changing.

[Fair]

@BaileyB

Someone suggested a third party that isn't the police... that's what I'm going to try first. So, yes I am taking advice.

 

 

The police would be embarrassing. It's his word against mine at this point. He'd probably make me look like the one who was cracked. Plus I prefer as little drama in my life as possible.

 

But I will get rid of him.

[Fair]

Pull the blinds! If he knows you're not seeing him, he'll get bored with it and give up.

 

Dark enough in Canada in the winter without living behind closed blinds. At night, fine. In the day, no. I could be sitting in the dark all summer for all I know.

[BaileyB]

@BaileyB

Someone suggested a third party that isn't the police... that's what I'm going to try first. So, yes I am taking advice.

 

 

The police would be embarrassing. It's his word against mine at this point. He'd probably make me look like the one who was cracked. Plus I prefer as little drama in my life as possible.

 

But I will get rid of him.

 

That was my suggestion fair. And by “third party,” I meant police. I personally wouldn’t want to put anyone in the uncomfortable position of sending this kind of message to my ex. What happens if he does become confrontational? That’s not fair to ask someone else to deal with - it’s not their responsibility. I would either text him directly, or call the police.

[BaileyB]

Dark enough in Canada in the winter without living behind closed blinds. At night, fine. In the day, no. I could be sitting in the dark all summer for all I know.

 

Dark enough in Canada, yes. And yet, my blinds are often closed during the day and night to protect my privacy. It’s not ideal, as we need all the sunshine and natural light we can get. But it can be done, if needed.

[alphamale]

I mean, this is statement... come on, do you really think so? First off, he doesn't have a job... second of all nobody drives past someone's house for hours unless they're obsessed.

 

Why, may I ask, are you insisting this is MY problem? You seem to have taken a rather hostile stance.

 

Just because a situation isn't dangerous doesn't make it pleasant or acceptable or something I should just have to put up with.

 

its not a "hostile" stance. i'm just trying to help you

 

is moving an option? what if you lay some spike strips in the road in front of your house?

[ExpatInItaly]

That was my suggestion fair. And by “third party,” I meant police. I personally wouldn’t want to put anyone in the uncomfortable position of sending this kind of message to my ex. What happens if he does become confrontational? That’s not fair to ask someone else to deal with - it’s not their responsibility. I would either text him directly, or call the police.

 

I agree. I think that's likely to cause more drama than it solves.

 

If he's the type that is genuinely spying on you, OP, he's obviously not playing with a full deck. I don't think asking someone who isn't the authorities to chat with him is a responsible or wise decision.

[basil67]

Dark enough in Canada in the winter without living behind closed blinds. At night, fine. In the day, no. I could be sitting in the dark all summer for all I know.

 

I thought you wanted a low impact solution. You can leave all the blinds open which don't fact the road. Of course, if you don't like low impact, go to the police.

 

Unless you'd prefer to just do nothing and simply complain about it?

[5x5]

It's his word against mine at this point.

 

Don't they have cameras on phones in Canada?

[Fair]

I thought you wanted a low impact solution. You can leave all the blinds open which don't fact the road. Of course, if you don't like low impact, go to the police.

 

Unless you'd prefer to just do nothing and simply complain about it?

 

I don't have any windows that don't face the road. Even my bedroom window faces the road. Honestly, if I could have the blinds closed in the daytime without being suffocated by darkness I would do it.

[Fair]

 

what if you lay some spike strips in the road in front of your house?

 

At this point that doesn't sound like such a bad idea.

 

I suppose it would be wrong involving someone else in this by asking them to talk to him for me. It's just, you have to understand I don't see him as someone who is dangerous or unstable. Nobody around here does. It's more like someone who is just being an idiot. He would probably just deny he's been doing it but would stop at that point. He's very concerned about his reputation, which he's carefully manufactured.

 

This isn't 'routine' behaviour for most people and he's not the most stellar human being but I don't think it indicates he's unstable. Sometimes people are just … dumb.

Edited March 15, 2019 by Fair

[chillii]

Yeah l think it's a big ask for a friend and it could get messy come back on them who knows.

Not fair on them.

Don't worry , the cops are use to this stuff and know how to keep it low key and with as little fuss as possible, and they'd be use to him of course denying it.. l'd think just warning him in a text would be enough anyway.

[BaileyB]

Personally, I would send a text that says “Stop driving by my house or I will call the police.”

 

And chilli is right, the police are used to this... they would knock on his door, offer a friendly reminder to mind your privacy, and that would be all. I too think that would be enough to scare most people into changing their driving habits...