snowcones Posted December 3, 2018 Share Posted December 3, 2018 So a guy told me this. He said that NO guy wants to get married. That they all just do it because they run out of time because a woman will not remain a girlfriend forever. So guys, is this true? If a woman would remain a girlfriend forever, would you never get married? Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted December 3, 2018 Share Posted December 3, 2018 What gives your friend the right to speak for ALL men? Many men get married through choice. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
brigit87 Posted December 3, 2018 Share Posted December 3, 2018 So a guy told me this. He said that NO guy wants to get married. That they all just do it because they run out of time because a woman will not remain a girlfriend forever. So guys, is this true? If a woman would remain a girlfriend forever, would you never get married? Not true. My husband wanted a full commitment. I was happy to be engaged forever but he insisted on marriage. Men like security too. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
salparadise Posted December 3, 2018 Share Posted December 3, 2018 Anytime you hear someone claiming ALL or NONE, be suspect. There are outliers and exceptions to nearly every generalization, with the notable exception of the sun rising in the east. I'd say that a large percentage of men do want to get married. I'd even venture to say most men. However, when and to whom are much less definite. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted December 3, 2018 Share Posted December 3, 2018 Lots of guys desire marriage. Also, I have actually known a few cases where the guy wanted to get married but the woman didn't, and he left because of that. If anyone claims to speak for "all men" (or "all women", etc etc) I would not take anything they said seriously. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted December 3, 2018 Share Posted December 3, 2018 Some people aren't used to parsing their words like they're testifying in court I've been married and would have no problem with having a girlfriend holding my hand when I die. No need nor reason at my age to get married again. It's taken a long time to recover from divorce and statistically multiple marriages are more likely to fail than then first one. My exW noted this in MC when she lamented the 'three time loser' label if she got divorced again. Yup. She's been living with a guy for nearly a decade now. No marriage. Smart girl. Link to post Share on other sites
lana-banana Posted December 3, 2018 Share Posted December 3, 2018 Complete silliness (or, as my husband and male friends put it, "bull----"). It's not for everyone, but lots of men love being married. Sex and companionship are great, of course, but there are other benefits as well. Someone who tolerates you even when you're cranky, someone who helps you out and has your back no matter what...not to mention the status part. Men tend to feel more powerful as married men versus being "boyfriends". The comedian John Mulvaney has a great bit on this. Link to post Share on other sites
Author snowcones Posted December 3, 2018 Author Share Posted December 3, 2018 My friend told me this in response to me telling him that someone wanted to marry me. Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted December 3, 2018 Share Posted December 3, 2018 That's funny. If one of my friends told me that she'd got engaged my response would not be "you know, men only marry because they're forced into it". No, my response would be "congratulations!!" 1 Link to post Share on other sites
pepperbird Posted December 3, 2018 Share Posted December 3, 2018 So a guy told me this. He said that NO guy wants to get married. That they all just do it because they run out of time because a woman will not remain a girlfriend forever. So guys, is this true? If a woman would remain a girlfriend forever, would you never get married? I can only speak for the single guys I know, so this isn't meant to be for all. It's kind of a mixed bag. Some say they would consider getting married if they met the right woman or man and feel they are in a place where settling down is an option. Others just don't see the value in it, but they've never told me they would never get married. Link to post Share on other sites
Author snowcones Posted December 3, 2018 Author Share Posted December 3, 2018 That's funny. If one of my friends told me that she'd got engaged my response would not be "you know, men only marry because they're forced into it". No, my response would be "congratulations!!" It wasnt a formal proposal really, just talk, but the response my friend had made me question and come and ask here. Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted December 3, 2018 Share Posted December 3, 2018 That they all just do it because they run out of time because a woman will not remain a girlfriend forever. As others have posted, I don't think you can say "all" or "100%", but I can attest to some women not wanting to be girlfriends for an extended period of time. I did have one woman give me an ultimatum to get engaged or hit the bricks, so I left. I had another dump me, as she didn't feel like the relationship was moving towards any type of commitment. She wanted to move in with me and I nixed that suggestion. No worries, though... In each case, a replacement was located, fairly quickly. My present long term girlfriend does not want to get re-married. After her divorce, she promised herself to never ever to get married again. This fits my lifestyle perfectly, as I never ever wanted to get married in the first place. Link to post Share on other sites
Author snowcones Posted December 3, 2018 Author Share Posted December 3, 2018 I’m aware that there are men who never want to get married but they are usually vocal about that. My question was about the comment that men who do get married only so do because they were forced into it. That they never wanted it. Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted December 3, 2018 Share Posted December 3, 2018 My question was about the comment that men who do get married only so do because they were forced into it. That they never wanted it. I do think that a few individual men can be forced into marriage, but for the most part I don't think the majority are "forced" into such a HUGE decision. I do think (many years ago) when a woman became pregnant (out of wedlock) that the guy married her out of a sense of honor to do the right thing. I do think that the men that get married are ready to be married and want to get married. I imagine if they are "on the fence", a gently nudge by the woman may "speed up" the decision to commit, but I really don't think a man can be forced into it, if he is dead set against it. Just my two cents... Link to post Share on other sites
Wallysbears Posted December 3, 2018 Share Posted December 3, 2018 I don't know any married men that were or felt "forced into it" Link to post Share on other sites
Author snowcones Posted December 3, 2018 Author Share Posted December 3, 2018 I do think that a few individual men can be forced into marriage, but for the most part I don't think the majority are "forced" into such a HUGE decision. I do think (many years ago) when a woman became pregnant (out of wedlock) that the guy married her out of a sense of honor to do the right thing. I do think that the men that get married are ready to be married and want to get married. I imagine if they are "on the fence", a gently nudge by the woman may "speed up" the decision to commit, but I really don't think a man can be forced into it, if he is dead set against it. Just my two cents... Why do you think my friend said that then? He’s not a close friend, by the way. Link to post Share on other sites
chillii Posted December 3, 2018 Share Posted December 3, 2018 l do know of a lot of sitches it was because she doesn't wanna be a gf forever, l've had friends in that sitch plenty. But also many that wanted to get married too, me included. Just a bit of an observation but l have noticed a lotta guys aren't too keen on going back for seconds though , and l don't blame them there. Link to post Share on other sites
Author snowcones Posted December 3, 2018 Author Share Posted December 3, 2018 l do know of a lot of sitches it was because she doesn't wanna be a gf forever, l've had friends in that sitch plenty. But also many that wanted to get married too, me included. Just a bit of an observation but l have noticed a lotta guys aren't too keen on going back for seconds though , and l don't blame them there. Interestingly enough, the friend who said no guy wants to get married has never been married (no kids either). The guy who said he wants to marry me has been married before. Link to post Share on other sites
LastStraw Posted December 3, 2018 Share Posted December 3, 2018 Oh yeah MANY men get forced into marriage (read the stories of um... some 'happily' married women posting here) - being because they can't put up with the constant nagging gf who puts forks on the road "we get engaged or else...", or women getting pregnant on purpose... list is endless. There is very little advantage for men being married - when things go haywire, women get the sweet end of the deal in most cases. Wedding 'excitement' makes most men want to puke, but they do it just to make the gf happy. Even men that want to get married would gladly skip the wedding and go straight to marriage. Here and there there are traditional men that like to be married, and also young (under 25) couples that are genuinely head over heels, influenced by Disney and unburdened of expectations, and some men marry to take advantage, financial or other. Besides that... Link to post Share on other sites
Author snowcones Posted December 3, 2018 Author Share Posted December 3, 2018 Oh yeah MANY men get forced into marriage (read the stories of um... some 'happily' married women posting here) - being because they can't put up with the constant nagging gf who puts forks on the road "we get engaged or else...", or women getting pregnant on purpose... list is endless. There is very little advantage for men being married - when things go haywire, women get the sweet end of the deal in most cases. Wedding 'excitement' makes most men want to puke, but they do it just to make the gf happy. Even men that want to get married would gladly skip the wedding and go straight to marriage. Here and there there are traditional men that like to be married, and also young (under 25) couples that are genuinely head over heels, influenced by Disney and unburdened of expectations, and some men marry to take advantage, financial or other. Besides that... This is probably how my friend feels. It tells me more about him than all men. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
LastStraw Posted December 3, 2018 Share Posted December 3, 2018 This is probably how my friend feels. It tells me more about him than all men. Just curious, how old is your friend and what was his relationship history? I think 'all' is a generalization, but what I wrote is how many men feel. Btw my BF is one of the pro-marriage men. I think the reason is that he's older and he was raised that that's the right thing to do. How this worked for him? His first wife basically forced him into marrying her... which just prolonged the inevitable ending. I'm mad at the level of abuse he has taken for the sake of this marriage. She was making him feeling obliged to be at her and her relatives service because .. they were 'family and that's what people do'. The sad part is he never complained but I see the consequences of his crushed will. Link to post Share on other sites
Wallysbears Posted December 3, 2018 Share Posted December 3, 2018 Just curious, how old is your friend and what was his relationship history? I think 'all' is a generalization, but what I wrote is how many men feel. Btw my BF is one of the pro-marriage men. I think the reason is that he's older and he was raised that that's the right thing to do. How this worked for him? His first wife basically forced him into marrying her... which just prolonged the inevitable ending. I'm mad at the level of abuse he has taken for the sake of this marriage. She was making him feeling obliged to be at her and her relatives service because .. they were 'family and that's what people do'. The sad part is he never complained but I see the consequences of his crushed will. There are usually three sides to every story. Hers, his and the truth which is typically in the middle. Link to post Share on other sites
Author snowcones Posted December 3, 2018 Author Share Posted December 3, 2018 Just curious, how old is your friend and what was his relationship history? My friend is 34 and has had a string of girlfriends. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted December 3, 2018 Share Posted December 3, 2018 My friend is 34 and has had a string of girlfriends. He's a commitmentphobe. It is no surprise he thinks marriage is not for him. He is then projecting his opinion onto ALL men... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted December 3, 2018 Share Posted December 3, 2018 Why do you think my friend said that then? Given that you'd shared someone's interest in marrying you, doesn't exactly sound like a compliment. Under the circumstances, kind of a douchey thing to say... Mr. Lucky 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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