Something doesn't add up when people give dating in real life

[Mrs._December]

I completely agree with Sabaton about getting yourself a mail order bride.

 

For whatever reason, it ain't happening for you. I don't know why and I'm not going to give you any of that overused bull about just being yourself and all that nonsense. Whatever you've been doing for years isn't cutting it, so maybe you should consider doing something else.

 

I watch the 90 Day Fiancee show on TLC (yes, I'm a dork) and all I SEE are men who just can't seem to get women here in the states so they go online and put profiles on foreign dating sites and lo and behold - the fish are biting all over the place and they seem to have their choice of which beauty to start romancing. And amazingly enough, these guys are usually close to 40 or over, and these foreign beauties tend to be barely over 20. LOL.

 

Now being realistic, these guys are incredibly popular for mostly one reason - and it's not their bald heads, bad teeth, fat stomachs or crappy $800 a month tear-down apartments. It's because these women see them as wealthy and want a better quality of life. For a lot of them, they're hoping to be taken out of their country and from their poverty-stricken lives and brought to his country where he'll support her and give her a better life.

 

So, if you want to spin the wheel and try to find one who ISN'T looking to be saved (chances of that are pretty low) then give it a try.

[ZA Dater]

I completely agree with Sabaton about getting yourself a mail order bride.

 

For whatever reason, it ain't happening for you. I don't know why and I'm not going to give you any of that overused bull about just being yourself and all that nonsense. Whatever you've been doing for years isn't cutting it, so maybe you should consider doing something else.

 

I watch the 90 Day Fiancee show on TLC (yes, I'm a dork) and all I SEE are men who just can't seem to get women here in the states so they go online and put profiles on foreign dating sites and lo and behold - the fish are biting all over the place and they seem to have their choice of which beauty to start romancing. And amazingly enough, these guys are usually close to 40 or over, and these foreign beauties tend to be barely over 20. LOL.

 

Now being realistic, these guys are incredibly popular for mostly one reason - and it's not their bald heads, bad teeth, fat stomachs or crappy $800 a month tear-down apartments. It's because these women see them as wealthy and want a better quality of life. For a lot of them, they're hoping to be taken out of their country and from their poverty-stricken lives and brought to his country where he'll support her and give her a better life.

 

So, if you want to spin the wheel and try to find one who ISN'T looking to be saved (chances of that are pretty low) then give it a try.

 

 

 

An absolutely terrible idea. OP I wouldn't even consider this idea, I seriously looked into it for a while but there is no upside and I don't know of any examples where it actually worked long term.

 

 

What you need to do is try adopt a different attitude, for example why not look at Asian ladies? I have met a few and for the most part found them more down to earth than white ladies, I wasn't their cup of tea though disproving your theory about white guys.

 

 

My point is this, you can prove or disprove almost anything, I think most of life revolves around that. What sort of people are you interacting with?

 

 

I can really relate to your struggles and I know why you feel the way you do because once you have been kicked in the face its difficult not to adopt a different viewpoint.

 

 

My suggestion, take a break, focus on other aspects of life, let some of the bitterness seep away and then look again. A change of focus might do you good because it seems, like with me, rejection and irritation ramp up bitterness and its IMPOSSIBLE not to have this interfere with other areas of life.

 

 

The primary problem with dating is nobody will help properly, I had two models help me in a way, it was a massive confidence booster and I enjoy going out with them but it wasn't them going home with me...always other guys, never me. Doesn't mean I have lost hope because I take the good and focus on that, yes, I have been on dates with people I mostly disliked but somehow those two experiences make up to an extent.

[ZA Dater]

NO. Most women know men fall in love through the eyes. Men know in seconds if they want to have sex with you or they REALLY want to have sex with you and treat you accordingly. Most women know that so they don't have to do much in the beginning. They wait and see if the man want's us and if so then we reveal more. What's the point in showing how wonderful we are to someone who's not that into us.

 

And. If we aren't interested we won't put in any effort ever.

 

 

Well I learn something everyday! That post just answered a decades worth of questions!

 

 

Suppose I just look at personality more, in fact you may have just summed up my entire dating problem in one post, I don't look at them as sex objects but as people. I'll only want them if they wow me visually and intellectually.

[Chilli]

l know a couple of people that can't get partners. Known them most of my life. A guy now 50s , and one woman now 50s.

The guy's still a good lookin guy, tall , dark hair, good body. makes a good living too, loves motor bikes.

He's only had one real relationship they lived together a few year back in his 30s.

The female, she use to be quite nice lookin back in the day, she's still ok probably better than most her age but she does have this really off pot belly goin on . l dunno if that would bother the average guy that age is about the same anyway. She was with one guy 3yrs or so back in her 20s.

 

l use to talk to each about their love lives and lack back in the day. Saw either at different times or sitting up with drinks or at a party somewhere. Even then they both felt like losers and it was hard to know what to say.

Both l always knew even back in their 20s they'd never marry or have real partners and they haven't.

l could see the issues back then still can now.

 

lt's always a personality thing with both, spot it a mile away blind folded.

Him, he's def' an original haha, no way just anyone's cup of tea but the main reason is he's just never really grasped the concept of how to just go after the girl he likes. He's a bit of a freddy fk about like that but even when he has , it still leaves he's personality and it's never taken off.

 

Her , similar again, she has this personality thing too, even back in her 20s l knew guys would never like it and they still don't.She can getem, they just don't stick around once they get to know her. She's actually a very kind hearted person , loyal too but she just has this way about her.

 

l use to try to help them out but over the years started avoiding that subject though. Because with both it's about personality , things we all have to work out ourselves along the way from lessons and observations, life , but they never have.

 

l couldn't even begin to explain eithers personality here or to either of them in person. And l don't have that kinda time or inclination either anyway, never have. And besides to me anyway it's a bit like wake the fk up , look at yourself , learn from life for once learn from people around you and get your head outa your ass yaknow,like the rest of us have too l'm not holding your damn hand or being your keeper.

But aside from all that anyway , how the hell can you even explain to somebody they just have a fkd personality , and even if you could they'd be coming to you forever then for more instructions, l mean who could be fkd with all that.

Edited November 15, 2018 by Chilli

[brigit87]

 

Suppose I just look at personality more, in fact you may have just summed up my entire dating problem in one post, I don't look at them as sex objects but as people. I'll only want them if they wow me visually and intellectually.

 

But that's not really true. You want the pretty ones so bad you alter your picture to appear better looking just to have coffee with them.

[Chilli]

Well I learn something everyday! That post just answered a decades worth of questions!

 

 

Suppose I just look at personality more, in fact you may have just summed up my entire dating problem in one post, I don't look at them as sex objects but as people. I'll only want them if they wow me visually and intellectually.

 

 

 

 

l like a very unusual personality , as rare as hens teeth actually especially these days but it's a must to me. And l also have weird tastes physically l'm not attracted to many women.

So when l've been single you'd never see a different girl every day or date date date, took me a long time to find even one l was interested in.

But l know where to look and what to look for and l can spot the personality traits in a few lines when l do find her.

Ya gotta hone in on what you like and means a lot to you , and you gotta spread the scope for the unusual , forget the rest.

 

As far as attraction goes , same again and to get the two in one is truly finding gold.

But you've gotta know how to spot the gold and the areas it's in but it's also gotta be attainable with what you have to work with or your just dreamin.

[EthanBlack]

@Sabaton

 

I've read a lot of your posts and I don't get why you're on this forum. What are you doing here exactly? I mean, it sounds like you're living the dream. Having a great social circle full of good looking models and dating plenty of beautiful women.

 

You try very hard to show this off and you keep emphasizing it but that's just not the reality for most guys on this forum. So I don't understand what point you're trying to make.

 

You sound desperate to toot your own horn...almost like you want to prove something to yourself.

Edited November 16, 2018 by EthanBlack

[Chilli]

@Sabaton

 

I've read a lot of your posts and I don't get why you're on this forum. What are you doing here exactly? I mean, it sounds like you're living the dream. Having a great social circle full of good looking models and dating plenty of beautiful women.

 

You try very hard to show this off and you keep emphasizing it but that's just not the reality for most guys on this forum. So I don't understand what point you're trying to make.

 

You sound desperate to toot your own horn...almost like you want to prove something to yourself.

 

 

And with some very weird and very narrow views too and ps , with a wholeeee lotta talk goin on.

Edited November 16, 2018 by Chilli

[Garcon1986]

hehe Sabaton may be a spokesperson for the Swedish metal band Sabaton who is getting plenty of attention from the opposite gender

[HiCrunchy]

hmmm, IDK if anyone told you this yet, but you could try adopting the style and hair of one of those Korean pop stars. They are good looking Asian men and some aren't very tall.

That look has tons of girls worldwide chasing them dying to be their gf.

 

Work with what you got. You can't magically transform yourself into a tall white guy, so complaining about it isn't helpful.

 

I think your main goal besides working on your personality (women don't like men that whine) should be working on your looks. Be the most attractive version of yourself.

 

Also you have had gfs in the past, and that should be enough evidence to know you can attract women to you.

Edited November 16, 2018 by HiCrunchy

[EthanBlack]

hmmm, IDK if anyone told you this yet, but you could try adopting the style and hair of one of those Korean pop stars. They are good looking Asian men and some aren't very tall.

That look has tons of girls worldwide chasing them dying to be their gf.

 

Work with what you got. You can't magically transform yourself into a tall white guy, so complaining about it isn't helpful.

 

I think your main goal besides working on your personality (women don't like men that whine) should be working on your looks. Be the most attractive version of yourself.

 

Also you have had gfs in the past, and that should be enough evidence to know you can attract women to you.

 

I think that's awfully ignorant what you said. That's like me telling you, a white guy that you should pattern yourself after brad Pitt or George clooney or Hugh jackman.

 

Did it ever occur to you those kpop stars are carefully chosen and are the cream of the crop? Oh but I guess cause they're Asian they are about on the same level as your average white guy right?

 

What makes you think myself an average looking Asian guy can look anything on par with a kpop idol? Can an average looking white guy become a Hollywood white actor?

[HiCrunchy]

I think that's awfully ignorant what you said. That's like me telling you, a white guy that you should pattern yourself after brad Pitt or George clooney or Hugh jackman.

 

Did it ever occur to you those kpop stars are carefully chosen and are the cream of the crop? Oh but I guess cause they're Asian they are about on the same level as your average white guy right?

 

What makes you think myself an average looking Asian guy can look anything on par with a kpop idol? Can an average looking white guy become a Hollywood white actor?

 

That's not what I said at. Is ur insecurity so deep that u turn encouraging advice into me digging at you for not being a tall, white guy??

 

What I said was try and micmik their clothing style and hair. Follow fasion trends and see what's in. Look at what the pop idols are doing for inspiration. My point was to show u that being short and Asian doesnt mean u cant be attractive. My was trying to encourage u geez.

 

Seeing everything though that negative lens is ur real problem. Along with that inferiority complex u have going on. It's not cute. Ur obsession with tall white men is perplexing. That's the only reason I brought it up because u just seem so fixated on them as the ideal attractiveness. I didnt say white men are attractive.

 

Let it go. Stop being so angry with the world. Ur in the body ur in. That's it. Is life fair, nope. We have to work with what we have. I suggest u work on ur style/hair to be more attractive and all I get is disrespect in return.

 

But u know maybe u prefer opening thread after thread complaining about the same thing over and over being bitter blaming the world.

 

Live ur life as u see fit.

Edited November 16, 2018 by HiCrunchy

[Robert]

Thread closed, there is nowhere this thread can go except down.

The last page of posts deleted/cleaned up as race baiting on LoveShack isn't allowed.

 

 

thanks