FMW Posted November 15, 2018 Share Posted November 15, 2018 I think you made the right decision. If it's meant to be it'll work out later. I hope that you do find someone else to be interested in very soon to have someone to replace him in at least some of your thoughts. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
PRW Posted November 15, 2018 Share Posted November 15, 2018 He was married for over 10y, (final ones they were only mostly friends) and then had a GF for I believe 1.5yy which he dumped. But it was only a month ago. He did mention he is "still traumatized" over the breakup... not sure what he meant as he def dumped her and doesn't want to be with her. Maybe he feels guilty or so. The whole "still traumatized" thing is just a bunch of BS to excuse any of his negative behavor. It is a way to keep you from scrutinizing his behavor as much and giving him more room to "do whatever he wants". If he had a GF for 1.5 years after the divorce, then unless he was cheating on his wife via the GF,...the divorce was about 2 years ago. If he was cheating on the wife via the GF then the divorce was about 1.5 years ago. Either way,...he isn't "traumatized",...it is just a bunch of BS. His ex wife's side of the story would be interesting to hear. Link to post Share on other sites
Author edgygirl Posted November 16, 2018 Author Share Posted November 16, 2018 Thank you Rockett - that's exactly what I needed to hear. I was so sure of myself yesterday but this night I miss him and what we had, even though a possible guy to date is going to call me tonight. You are so right on on this part, which I just realized is the one that bothers me most: "he is on the fence about being single or coupled, and that adds a degree of unpleasant uncertainty to the relationship that doesn't have to be there". I don't even think our last date was fun anymore, because I don't feel like my normal self, over this background drama. I felt self conscious the whole time. Why do things have to be so complicated??? I guess we did part on good terms - I even left it open on my message to him, that if he ever wants to try to give it a real chance, and I am still single and can get over him wanting to keep meeting other people after meeting me... Let's see... I have a feeling he will find someone to stick with, he's just the "coupled" kind... and the woman that falls into his path at the right time will be the one to stay with him. I am exactly the opposite - mega picky and if I like someone, it's because I really like them. I think you did the right thing. Regardless of what could be in the future, you know that right now he is on the fence about being single or coupled, and that adds a degree of unpleasant uncertainty to the relationship that doesn't have to be there. If you parted on good terms, he knows he can contact you in the future right? No harm in keeping the door open if he does come around after working through his own stuff. Link to post Share on other sites
Author edgygirl Posted November 16, 2018 Author Share Posted November 16, 2018 Thank you Finding my way for the good wishes, it warmed my heart I think you made the right decision. If it's meant to be it'll work out later. I hope that you do find someone else to be interested in very soon to have someone to replace him in at least some of your thoughts. Link to post Share on other sites
Author edgygirl Posted November 16, 2018 Author Share Posted November 16, 2018 Well there won't be any "room", as I broke things off. Nah he wasn't cheating with the gf... and he said he and wife became only friends in the last years. I stalked him on FB and saw he's still friends with ex wife and ex gf... he's not a jerk, I don't think. But I do think the gf was a (long term-ish) rebound, but he didn't realize that until much later. I think that's his main issue actually - he's afraid to fall into a relationship again too fast too strong and not have time to realize whether the woman is right for him. Oh well. I really want someone who can be open to love... as I am right now. It took me time but here I am... and I wish he was. So I am throwing him back to the world. It stings a little and I already miss him, but hopefully I'll get over it soon. I don't feel like I love him or so, which prob will make things easier. The whole "still traumatized" thing is just a bunch of BS to excuse any of his negative behavor. It is a way to keep you from scrutinizing his behavor as much and giving him more room to "do whatever he wants". If he had a GF for 1.5 years after the divorce, then unless he was cheating on his wife via the GF,...the divorce was about 2 years ago. If he was cheating on the wife via the GF then the divorce was about 1.5 years ago. Either way,...he isn't "traumatized",...it is just a bunch of BS. His ex wife's side of the story would be interesting to hear. Link to post Share on other sites
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