Author dateme Posted November 11, 2018 Author Posted November 11, 2018 It's the secret to life At the time it doesn't seem like they're interested though. So it's hard to decipher.
Author dateme Posted November 12, 2018 Author Posted November 12, 2018 One of my lesbian friends told me that girls open up more on text than talking so it's actually better to win them over. I was like interesting.
basil67 Posted November 12, 2018 Posted November 12, 2018 At the time it doesn't seem like they're interested though. So it's hard to decipher. The girl was apparently so keen that she was driving you nutty with texts. Sounds pretty keen to me. The next step (if you haven't already) is to start dating. You can't determine how interested a person truly is if you're not actively dating them. 1
Author dateme Posted November 13, 2018 Author Posted November 13, 2018 The girl was apparently so keen that she was driving you nutty with texts. Sounds pretty keen to me. The next step (if you haven't already) is to start dating. You can't determine how interested a person truly is if you're not actively dating them. You have a point. 1
Author dateme Posted November 16, 2018 Author Posted November 16, 2018 I talked to my female friends about it. They said it's easier to talk during text than on the phone. The phone is awkward for people. But by texting it's easier to say what you have to say then if not just hit them up later. So I guess I misread it. The fact that she would text me over and over like 30 times each conversation and she kept initiating meant she was liking me. She still does text. I think I killed the attraction off though. She wrote me a poem of encouragement yesterday. Not sure why she still contacts me. I think it'll only be friends at this point.
basil67 Posted November 16, 2018 Posted November 16, 2018 I talked to my female friends about it. They said it's easier to talk during text than on the phone. The phone is awkward for people. But by texting it's easier to say what you have to say then if not just hit them up later. So I guess I misread it. The fact that she would text me over and over like 30 times each conversation and she kept initiating meant she was liking me. She still does text. I think I killed the attraction off though. She wrote me a poem of encouragement yesterday. Not sure why she still contacts me. I think it'll only be friends at this point. Do you want to date her still at this point?
Author dateme Posted November 16, 2018 Author Posted November 16, 2018 Do you want to date her still at this point? Not sure. I'm not sure if she wants sex or a relationship.
Author dateme Posted November 18, 2018 Author Posted November 18, 2018 Well she blocked me on Social Media, and didn't respond to my last text. It's safe to say she got tired and is done. I still don't think the interest was there.
losangelena Posted November 18, 2018 Posted November 18, 2018 Maybe because you persist in referring to a 34-year old human female as a “girl.” Please, for the love of jeebus, that is a woman, not a girl.
Author dateme Posted November 18, 2018 Author Posted November 18, 2018 Maybe because you persist in referring to a 34-year old human female as a “girl.” Please, for the love of jeebus, that is a woman, not a girl. I doubt this is the reason. But either way.
greymatter Posted November 18, 2018 Posted November 18, 2018 I'm a woman (what you and many refer to as a "girl") and hate talking on the phone. So does my partner. We only text and never talk on the phone - we save all of our talking for in person. Texting is for brief exchanges, which we do daily, sometimes just once or twice and sometimes with some back forth, or one of us will share something with the other. All of the "getting to know each other" time has been in person and not via text/phone. I'm over 50 btw.
Author dateme Posted November 18, 2018 Author Posted November 18, 2018 I'm a woman (what you and many refer to as a "girl") and hate talking on the phone. So does my partner. We only text and never talk on the phone - we save all of our talking for in person. Texting is for brief exchanges, which we do daily, sometimes just once or twice and sometimes with some back forth, or one of us will share something with the other. All of the "getting to know each other" time has been in person and not via text/phone. I'm over 50 btw. She texted me constantly. Like 30 times a day. And I didn't think we were getting closer to each other. It seemed like we did but we never did. Anyway.
Author dateme Posted November 18, 2018 Author Posted November 18, 2018 Awhile back my friend who religiously thinks Tinder is a great place to find dates met a guy on there- she told me that he had a roommate and they all hung out. I let her know that I'm single and looking, she told me about him, showed me a picture-he looked alright. She told him about me and showed him my picture, then she gave me his number for me to contact him, so I decided to text him, he seemed okay at first and he suggested meeting up and we arranged a day and time. At least some initiative on his part. Then, he became a stage 5 clinger by texting me non stop- like good morning, and he wanted to text all day. I was like wtf? He asked me about my facebook-I told him that I hardly get on there. Thinking he could take a hint, he kept nagging me about it asking me, WHAT'S YOUR FACEBOOK ID? I told him that I was busy and that I couldn't text him all the time, and if I didn't answer him he would text, 'HELLO, ARE YOU THERE?" I got fed up and told him that I wasn't going to meet him then I blocked him. I haven't even MET the guy in person yet and is acting like crazy? If he wasn't one of those crazy, stage 5 clinger guys I would have met up with him. Besides a real man would call and talk to a woman on the phone. I hated all the texting constantly. It was annoying.
greymatter Posted November 18, 2018 Posted November 18, 2018 She texted me constantly. Like 30 times a day. And I didn't think we were getting closer to each other. It seemed like we did but we never did. Anyway. It seems like some people are truly addicted to texting. In my recent dating experiences, texting frequency and intensity has more to do with the individual personality and level of neediness and less to do with their feelings for the other person. My previous relationship was with someone who texted constantly day and night but we fell apart (after six months) after we became long distance. The constant texts were kind of a sign of what was lacking in our relationship at that point which was actual time together. In my current relationship, though in touch daily we don't send excessive texts. There is confidence and confirmation that the relationship is solid without the need for constant reassurance or the zap of oxytocin that some people get from hearing the incoming text sound on their phone. Your feeling of not growing closer despite the frequent contact is important and telling.
Author dateme Posted November 18, 2018 Author Posted November 18, 2018 It seems like some people are truly addicted to texting. In my recent dating experiences, texting frequency and intensity has more to do with the individual personality and level of neediness and less to do with their feelings for the other person. My previous relationship was with someone who texted constantly day and night but we fell apart (after six months) after we became long distance. The constant texts were kind of a sign of what was lacking in our relationship at that point which was actual time together. In my current relationship, though in touch daily we don't send excessive texts. There is confidence and confirmation that the relationship is solid without the need for constant reassurance or the zap of oxytocin that some people get from hearing the incoming text sound on their phone. Your feeling of not growing closer despite the frequent contact is important and telling. Right. She said she was skipping meetings to text me. And would get upset when I didn't text back. Then she just got upset the last time and just started acting cold and then was gone. Oh well. No wonder she has serious issues in her relationships. She's insane.
Author dateme Posted December 7, 2018 Author Posted December 7, 2018 So we got back in touch. We talked for about 10 minutes then went back to texting. We both shared a lot. I think I was just thrown off about the texting stuff. BUt we're on the same page. It may not lead to a relationship but we do like each other. She shared she was hurt by how I treated her like that and just pushed her away so she had to leave me alone. Anyway. That's what's going on.
SophieG Posted December 7, 2018 Posted December 7, 2018 You should be honest with her if the texting is irritating to you. I’m a big texter with the people around me (mom, friends). When I’m interested in someone, I tend to text a lot, as in, multiple times a day. To me, it shows the other person that I think of him. And I HATE talking on the phone! Sometimes, when someone calls me, I’ll hang up and then text because I just don’t like it! So, for me to talk over the phone, I need to like the other person very much, and even then, it’s going to be short conversation.
Author dateme Posted December 7, 2018 Author Posted December 7, 2018 You should be honest with her if the texting is irritating to you. I’m a big texter with the people around me (mom, friends). When I’m interested in someone, I tend to text a lot, as in, multiple times a day. To me, it shows the other person that I think of him. And I HATE talking on the phone! Sometimes, when someone calls me, I’ll hang up and then text because I just don’t like it! So, for me to talk over the phone, I need to like the other person very much, and even then, it’s going to be short conversation. That's how she is. And now that I'm clear about it I guess it'll be better. I felt she was playing games before.
Grey40 Posted December 7, 2018 Posted December 7, 2018 I’ve rarely met a girl who texts me a lot. They take hours to respond usually and in general don’t even initiate that much. Once I’ve seen them for 4+ dates and we’ve usually had sex they definitely start to text more and reach out more often, but the ones who text a lot before the first few dates I’ve found from experience are kind of whacky and clingy, and don’t have a solid foundation.
Author dateme Posted December 7, 2018 Author Posted December 7, 2018 I’ve rarely met a girl who texts me a lot. They take hours to respond usually and in general don’t even initiate that much. Once I’ve seen them for 4+ dates and we’ve usually had sex they definitely start to text more and reach out more often, but the ones who text a lot before the first few dates I’ve found from experience are kind of whacky and clingy, and don’t have a solid foundation. Hmmm. Maybe. But the interest is there.
Grey40 Posted December 7, 2018 Posted December 7, 2018 Hmmm. Maybe. But the interest is there. Not always. My point is that there are girls who have a lot of interest who also don’t text that much at all. I once slept with a girl consistently for 3-4 months and we Definitley didn’t talk every day, sometimes a few days would go by between communication. Some people just aren’t responsive. I agree that it’s most likely an excuse because sending texts are easy, but not always. Reasons why someone won’t text a lot or be responsive to texts: —they are busy and working a lot, and it’s a distraction/not allowed at their job. —‘not much to talk about over text when you can just see the person in person and interact then and there. — low interest —busy at the moment you text, make a mental note to respond later and the. Forget or thought they did. —playing hard to get or purposely waiting to respond not to seem “overeager” Out of all of those, low interest is not the most obvious one at all actually. Texting means nothing. You want to find out interest level? Ask them out. IF they reply with anything except a yes then it’s low interest
Author dateme Posted December 7, 2018 Author Posted December 7, 2018 Not always. My point is that there are girls who have a lot of interest who also don’t text that much at all. I once slept with a girl consistently for 3-4 months and we Definitley didn’t talk every day, sometimes a few days would go by between communication. Some people just aren’t responsive. I agree that it’s most likely an excuse because sending texts are easy, but not always. Reasons why someone won’t text a lot or be responsive to texts: —they are busy and working a lot, and it’s a distraction/not allowed at their job. —‘not much to talk about over text when you can just see the person in person and interact then and there. — low interest —busy at the moment you text, make a mental note to respond later and the. Forget or thought they did. —playing hard to get or purposely waiting to respond not to seem “overeager” Out of all of those, low interest is not the most obvious one at all actually. Texting means nothing. You want to find out interest level? Ask them out. IF they reply with anything except a yes then it’s low interest we just started talking again yesterday. so it'll get worked out.
Author dateme Posted December 7, 2018 Author Posted December 7, 2018 Do you want to date her still at this point? not sure. just going with the flow
Trojan Posted December 8, 2018 Posted December 8, 2018 Maybe she’s just a little shy and feels more confortable texting lol
Author dateme Posted December 8, 2018 Author Posted December 8, 2018 Maybe she’s just a little shy and feels more confortable texting lol That's what I think too. Because they share a lot on text but face to face some things. But now I know she likes me so I don't get upset.
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