Friends A Long Time, Affair, & Now Married - Trust?

[pepperbird]

I can say with 99 percent certainty he will cheat on you, and here's why.

 

 

 

 

You are quick to blame both your actions on others. You blame your spouses, your first marriage etc., and while I can understand why you'd want to do so, it's actually a really harmful tack to take.

 

 

 

I say this because what you blame on others, you can't control. Once you start accepting real responsibility, then you can begin to evaluate your choices and learn to make better ones.

 

 

 

I would advise you both to take a cold, hard look at your behavior and don;t pull any punches. How much of your marriages ending was your fault. What could you have done differently? What have you actively done to try and learn better behvaior patterns?

 

 

So long as nothing is your fault ( and paying lip service doesn't count) you will be at risk for cheating...both of you. If you feel the "toys" and other benefits you get form being married to him are worth it, then you have no real problem. If you are looking for true and lasting love, forgetaboutit. you're looking in the wrong place.

[pepperbird]

This guy paid off his wife's attorney?

 

Wow.... zero integrity. At all. No, I could never trust him. He is shady and doesnt take responsibility for his actions. He pays his way out of it. Sad. Extremely sad.

 

 

 

 

and this, right here is what so many ow/om miss.

 

 

 

what a man ( or woman) is willing to do to their ex shows the depth of their ability to be a rotten person. When marriages split, the spouses can sometimes still be friends, in some other cases the former spouses don't like each other, but they won't go out of their way to rip them off or cause them unnecessary pain.

 

 

Then we have the spouse the the one in the op's situation. They go out of their way to inflict as much harm as possible,for no other reason than they enjoy it. that is who they are.

 

I don;t understand the sense of shock that some feel when they find the person they have been cheating with is untrustworthy.

[pepperbird]

Boy, I’ve met a lot of people like you in the business world, believers that the end always justifies the means. Tough to spend the rest of your life looking over your shoulder...

 

Mr. Lucky

 

 

Sounds like my brother. He's pulling in nearly seven figures a year now, thanks to being an incredibly skilled businessman and investor.

 

I often wonder how many people he's stepped over and crushed to get where he is. I guess some can do that and it doesn't bother them. Me, I'd rather have a modest income and like who I see in the mirror.

[elaine567]

Sounds like my brother. He's pulling in nearly seven figures a year now, thanks to being an incredibly skilled businessman and investor.

 

I often wonder how many people he's stepped over and crushed to get where he is. I guess some can do that and it doesn't bother them. Me, I'd rather have a modest income and like who I see in the mirror.

 

 

He probably loves who he sees in in the mirror...

[aliveagain]

Two people with poor boundaries, one of the two bribed a lawyer, you have cause to be concerned. Look at what he did to his ex wife in order to hold on to his "things" plan on the same if things go sideways. Protect yourself. Your both in a relationship with someone that you know would act on an opportunity if they thought they could get away with it. Knowing he has poor business ethics as well as poor relationship boundaries should cause you concern, look at how his wife fared in their divorce. Your best predictor of your future together is to look at your history or more specifically his history with others. Doesn't sound like he's very ethical and that would cause me concern. Like I said, protect yourself.

[carhill]

The lawyer was who lacked integrity, in accepting a bribe, presuming that's true. I guess people here haven't been around business and politics much. People buy people all the time, including lawyers, judges, politicians, you name it. Most everyone has their price. Some don't, sure. Never underestimate the power of money. People in the OP's strata don't. They know its power. She mentions how she likes her lavish lifestyle. Yup.

 

I'd trust H to do what's best for H. I call it the Gekko factor. As long as everyone understands the rules, good to go.

[Amethyst68]

Assuming it's true it's not only the lawyer who's lacking integrity - I count at least 3 people and I doubt there's any sign of a conscious in any of them.

 

I know it doesn't always happen but I do hope that somehow, in some way the BW gets some kind of justice, I doubt she's living any kind of lavish lifestyle.

[Marc878]

Dishonesty is a character flaw that usually repeats.

 

It seems as though you are trying to excuse behavior. Maybe trying to make It more palatable?

 

The capability is there. Will it manifest itself again?

 

There is a chance but you accepted him for who he is.

 

Now you have no choice but to live with it.

[Mr. Lucky]

I often wonder how many people he's stepped over and crushed to get where he is. I guess some can do that and it doesn't bother them. Me, I'd rather have a modest income and like who I see in the mirror.

 

“Easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle...”

 

Mr. Lucky