Author luvflower Posted October 9, 2018 Author Share Posted October 9, 2018 Let me be clear, sex is important but it’s NOT everything to me. I like this guy. So hearing myself say this stuff makes me realize I probably need to just allow things to fade. Even though we still have been communicating just yesterday. It’s all bull**** in the end. Basil67 said it best I guess. We’d have snatched each other up, like my ex-fiancé did when he snatched me up within 2 months. But we’re still not together. I can’t figure this -ish out. Link to post Share on other sites
Author luvflower Posted October 10, 2018 Author Share Posted October 10, 2018 If he wanted a relationship, he'd snap you up so that nobody else could get you. And vice versa: you'd make sure that he knew you were committed to him only. Actually this part of what you said is not a fact. In theory it sounds practical but it’s not that simple, nor true for everyone. Sadly enough both of us are real laid back people (sometimes ad nauseam) people who don’t communicate everything we want or expect. Even though the “pleasing” issue exists/ existed, I like him a lot. And I’m willing to deal with a temporary climax issue if a man is worth it in other ways. So if you’re referring to him ONLY not locking me down, then ok. I’ll have to accept that even if it hurts. But it’s not the same with me (as you implied). I’m the type of woman who will let a man slip by without telling him how I completely feel. It’s happened several times before. Not everyone acts in their intense feelings. I really wanted to get back with an ex, but I was scared of rejection after I’d made the decision to leave him in the first place. So I kept it to myself. If anything, perhaps it’s just not meant to be but there’s not a one size fits all answer for everybody. Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted October 10, 2018 Share Posted October 10, 2018 (edited) I’d rather have more than just hookups, although I’m not sure if he’s who I’d want to be in a relationship with. ~~~For that reason, I keep him at a distance~~~ which doesn’t allow me to “mistakingly assume he wants a relationship with me”. It can be tricky though. I will give you the same advice my mother offered to me when I bought my first house. After looking at... many houses, she said "when you walk in the house that is meant to be yours, you will just know." And, when it finally happened - I just knew. She was right. It the same for relationships. When you find the right person, you will just know it. You may not know it the moment that you meet him, but as you get to know each other you will find that there is a sense of excitement, and a feeling of comfort, that you have never felt with another man before... The fact that it has been so long and neither of you have "locked the other down" as basil so eloquently put it ... Well, it's clear to me that he is probably not the one for you. But, what do I know? You will need to discover that for yourself, in your own time... I will say, relationships are where you learn - about yourself. Simply asking yourself these questions is hopefully, helping you to become more self aware. And, that can only be a good thing... Good luck. Edited October 10, 2018 by BaileyB 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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