Mr. Lucky Posted October 20, 2018 Share Posted October 20, 2018 Asking for forgiveness in person wasn't easy for me because of my pride, but I felt it's the first step toward reconciliation. Pride??? Not easy for you??? You should be down on your knees, so weighed down by remorse over the way you've hurt her you can't stand. You seem confused, for lack of a better way to put it... Mr. Lucky 2 Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted October 20, 2018 Share Posted October 20, 2018 What have you done? You lied to her for almost two decades! She doesn't even know you. You aren't who she thought you were... you're a monster to her... You've wasted so many important years for her... totally cheating and making a mockery of any intimacy. So consider yourself a complete stranger to her - she had no idea who you were - and I'm sure she's not sure she wants to know who you are trying to be now. You pulled a long term slight of hand on her - it could take 50 years of consistent good behavior before she actually trusts you next time. Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted October 20, 2018 Share Posted October 20, 2018 I have not pursued any other women or temporary fixes since d-day. A few days ago, I asked her to forgive me regardless of the outcome of our relationship. I told her that if she could find it somewhere in her to forgive me for what've I done to her for the past 17 years. I didn't want us to be enemies. Asking for forgiveness in person wasn't easy for me because of my pride, but I felt it's the first step toward reconciliation. Life moves on and we still live under the same roof with our two kids. It's still awkward and I feel like we are roommates rather than a couple. I try to talk to her almost every day to see how she's doing. Those conversations haven't been easy. It's uncomfortable, but needed if there's any glimmer of hope. She said actions speak louder than words. And, I've been doing everything right since d-day. This is going to take time, maybe years. What have I done! You seem to want a pat on the had and a lollipop and this will all go away. You have no idea the damage you caused. You need help. Serious help. Are you seeing a counselor once a week now? Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted October 20, 2018 Share Posted October 20, 2018 Asking for forgiveness in person wasn't easy for me because of my pride, but I felt it's the first step toward reconciliation. How is that going to help reconciliation? You put your wife on the spot to make yourself feel better. How on earth do you think is she going to forgive you for this? This was all about you and nothing apparently changes... Link to post Share on other sites
Bittersweetie Posted October 20, 2018 Share Posted October 20, 2018 How is that going to help reconciliation? You put your wife on the spot to make yourself feel better. How on earth do you think is she going to forgive you for this? This was all about you and nothing apparently changes... Exactly. It's month out from d-day and you're already asking for forgiveness? WTF? Another sign that you have no true understanding of the destruction you have caused. True reconciliation doesn't require following specific steps and saying the right things. It requires deep humility and vulnerability on the part of the wayward spouse, neither of which I see in your posts. I know it's hard to get there...maybe the counselor can help. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Dis Posted October 21, 2018 Share Posted October 21, 2018 YOU AND YOUR WIFE NEED TO GET TESTED FOR STDS NOW I can't stress how important that is. It's more important than anything else as of now. There was a thread on here awhile back posted by a husband who had sex with with prostitutes and guess what??? He gave his wife HIV...and they had kids! You not only lied to your wife about each and every thing for your entire marriage but you also jeopardized her health. THAT is the most shameful aspect of this whole thing. What if you gave her something serious? What would happen to your kids??? You and your wife need to go get tested now, again in 3 months and again 3 months later Link to post Share on other sites
Author whydontwe Posted October 21, 2018 Author Share Posted October 21, 2018 Results are negative. This was one of the first things she did. Link to post Share on other sites
Betrayed&Stayed Posted October 22, 2018 Share Posted October 22, 2018 This is going to take time, maybe years. What have I done! "Maybe years" ... You have no idea! Your wife will never forget what you have done. The damage to her and the marriage is permanent. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted October 22, 2018 Share Posted October 22, 2018 Pride??? Not easy for you??? You should be down on your knees, so weighed down by remorse over the way you've hurt her you can't stand. You seem confused, for lack of a better way to put it... Mr. Lucky Exactly. I'm not feeling deep remorse from OP. I still am wondering why now he wants to stop cheating after 17 years. I think at this point his wife needs to be free to have a man who will really love her. I'm not getting that from OP. Link to post Share on other sites
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