Author TheRainbow Posted October 12, 2018 Author Share Posted October 12, 2018 A positive post My mother wasn't supposed to come down until Monday but was able to fly in this morning. So my husband and I are going away for the weekend. It'll be a much-needed break just the two of us. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Just a Guy Posted October 13, 2018 Share Posted October 13, 2018 Hi June, why be so pessimistic? If somebody is doing well after a period of trauma then I think we should at least be happy for their sake rather than look for all the minefields and paint them or their SOs' in a negative light. Rainbow is happy with events in her life as of now as is probably her husband. Let us wish them well as they move forward. There has been enough pain in their lives till date to probably last them a lifetime. Best wishes. Link to post Share on other sites
Author TheRainbow Posted October 15, 2018 Author Share Posted October 15, 2018 What a great weekend I had planned the whole thing. I had packed everything for him, and he had no idea that it was coming. The kids stayed with my mom. Anyway, I got off work an hour before he did. So I showed up at his work, suitcase packed. He was pleasantly surprised. We had a professional massage, went to a basketball game, did some shopping and had some other fun I won't go into detail. All in all, it was great A much needed weekend, we hadn't had in a long, long time. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted October 15, 2018 Share Posted October 15, 2018 I’m glad that you enjoyed your weekend away. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BettyDraper Posted October 18, 2018 Share Posted October 18, 2018 What a great weekend I had planned the whole thing. I had packed everything for him, and he had no idea that it was coming. The kids stayed with my mom. Anyway, I got off work an hour before he did. So I showed up at his work, suitcase packed. He was pleasantly surprised. We had a professional massage, went to a basketball game, did some shopping and had some other fun I won't go into detail. All in all, it was great A much needed weekend, we hadn't had in a long, long time. What a lovely update! I'm glad that you had fun. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Just a Guy Posted October 19, 2018 Share Posted October 19, 2018 Hi Rainbow, Great update. Take it forward from here and I am sure things will keep improving. Good for both of you. Warm regards. Link to post Share on other sites
Author TheRainbow Posted October 20, 2018 Author Share Posted October 20, 2018 I want to move back in with my family. I was determined to wait it out, as a self-goal to myself. But I really want my family all together again. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author TheRainbow Posted October 24, 2018 Author Share Posted October 24, 2018 My husband's mother and sister are coming around, and have taken both girls, the younger one as well since they found out. They are accepting the baby, but are still so angry. They spent a few hours with his sister and cousin last night. I can't be positive, but my daughter must have said something about the baby and us getting back together. I know he mentioned the pregnancy to his mother, but apparently, his sister didn't know. Anyway, I got a message from her. To summarize it. She called me a bunch of names, whore being the nicest of them. She went on and on about how I was trapping my husband with this baby, and that she couldn't figure out why he would want to waste any more time with me. That I deserved to lose my kids, and to be homeless. That it was my fault that they were estranged from my husband. I can't deny that it was my fault there is tension between them. But she did end the message saying if I had any respect for my kids I would keep this message from my husband, since I'm already a proven liar, one can only hope that I would not take away my kids' relationship with the family who loves them. I know the visits will stop with his sister once my husband found out. I promised there would be no more lies, and I do intend on telling him. But I feel so sad, so damn guilty. I'm going to tell him not to punish the girls for my choices. My older daughter loves her aunt. Any thoughts? Link to post Share on other sites
MuddyFootprints Posted October 24, 2018 Share Posted October 24, 2018 Reconciliation takes a team mentality. Marriage takes a team mentality. Extended family support of a couple reconciling can be very helpful. Extended family causing trouble can destroy your efforts. You and your husband need to formulate a plan how to deal with interfering relatives and how not to get caught up in the drama they want to create around your marriage. Link to post Share on other sites
Author TheRainbow Posted October 24, 2018 Author Share Posted October 24, 2018 The reality is they will never like me again. Hopefully, in time they will be able to tolerate me enough to be in the same room as me. I don't want him to be estranged from his family or my kids not to have a relationship with them because of me. Link to post Share on other sites
MuddyFootprints Posted October 24, 2018 Share Posted October 24, 2018 They are all grownups. Their reaction and response is up to them. I have read your husband's threads. He's prepared to give you a chance. Your focus and responsibility is to your husband and kids. Affairs are drama. Look into whether perpetuating drama with the extended family is a continuation of poor behaviour and weak boundaries. As a couple, you need to create solid boundaries. That includes with his sister and mother. Link to post Share on other sites
Author TheRainbow Posted October 25, 2018 Author Share Posted October 25, 2018 I told him and ask expected he's upset. I did tell him that I thought he should leave it alone. That they didn't have to like me, but I didn't want to be responsible for the girls not maintaining a relationship with his side of the family. And our daughter is getting older and she all ready senses tension and at this time we don't want her to put two and two together. Link to post Share on other sites
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