Eternal Sunshine Posted September 25, 2018 Share Posted September 25, 2018 Indeed. Not surprisingly, these women are also very structured and older. A stranger doesn’t owe you his loyalty. A stranger doesn't owe me his loyalty but I don't owe him a date. It's nothing to do with being structured or even older, just a different mindset. Link to post Share on other sites
salparadise Posted September 25, 2018 Share Posted September 25, 2018 A stranger doesn't owe me his loyalty but I don't owe him a date. It's nothing to do with being structured or even older, just a different mindset. Right, that you're a golden calf and he isn't. He should be pre-sold and willing to jump through your hoops. He has to dig out of a hole, but you're presumed to be trustworthy and righteous. You're inherently suspicious and expect the worst of men generally. Therefore it's your prerogative to make demands and if he doesn't comply... Yup. It's a different mindset alright. I don't play that game and neither should any man. As soon as that presumptive, demanding crap shows up I'm out. I have words in my profile that are like garlic to vampires, so I don't usually have to deal with it. Men, if you can't start even-steven with a woman, just move on. Seriously, what kind of man would be willing to indulge such presumptions? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
PRW Posted September 25, 2018 Share Posted September 25, 2018 (edited) I've been chatting with this woman online about her interests, job, etc for a few days and she always responded within a minute or so of my messages. Then I suggested meeting up and she said she was very busy, It is because you "suggested" instead of just offering a real date with a specific day/time/place. It comes across as weak and makes you sound just like the last 100 other guys shes dealt with and dumped. but might be able to do it and wanted my Facebook. I asked why and she said she's met some crazy people online and wanted to screen me. I told her I don't use it very often and don't have much on there other than where I went to school and don't really feel comfortable sharing it, but if there's anything she wants to know about me she can certainly ask. I never got another message from her and just noticed she blocked me. You got defensive, and defensive=suspicious to women. So you shot yourself down. Next time just keep your mouth shut and just give her your Facebook URL. Make sure you don't have anything on there that looks bad. If she sends a friend request accept it and immediately move her to the "Acquaintance" list and make sure you restrict content to only allow Acquaintances to see what you want them to see (and don't tell her you did that). Move her to normal Friends later if you wish. Edited September 25, 2018 by PRW Link to post Share on other sites
JuneL Posted September 25, 2018 Share Posted September 25, 2018 I second the “acquaintance” strategy (as I mentioned, that was exactly what I did for someone I no longer consider my real-life friend). I realized you met on an app that’s linked to your facebook account and you just created a blank account for this purpose. In this case, it’s not that unreasonable to ask for your real account, assuming you can see their real account as well? It is because you "suggested" instead of just offering a real date with a specific day/time/place. It comes across as weak and makes you sound just like the last 100 other guys shes dealt with and dumped. You got defensive, and defensive=suspicious to women. So you shot yourself down. Next time just keep your mouth shut and just give her your Facebook URL. Make sure you don't have anything on there that looks bad. If she sends a friend request accept it and immediately move her to the "Acquaintance" list and make sure you restrict content to only allow Acquaintances to see what you want them to see (and don't tell her you did that). Move her to normal Friends later if you wish. Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted September 25, 2018 Share Posted September 25, 2018 If I put my settings on public that would expose my account for the whole world and any kind of hackers of who knows what. Comparable damage can be done by someone behind a computer screen as meeting someone for the first time in a public space. While women may feel vulnerable with regards to meeting a guy in person, a guy can feel vulnerable allowing a woman he's never met in person access to his tribe, especially if she's demanding access and she's never laid eyes on you. Hoping that she's not a psycho isn't a really reassuring way of dealing with the intrusion of someone who may turn out to be a potential problem. I never, ever give out nor ask for Facebook information from anyone I'm not in a committed relationship with and my family doesn't already knows them. Keeps things from getting messy. Link to post Share on other sites
Mardelis Posted September 25, 2018 Share Posted September 25, 2018 Why not just set your Facebook settings to be public but limit what actually shows to "non friends"? That way a potential dating partner can at least get an idea of your background without obtaining any potentially dangerous personal information. Link to post Share on other sites
Author max3732 Posted September 25, 2018 Author Share Posted September 25, 2018 A stranger doesn't owe me his loyalty but I don't owe him a date. It's nothing to do with being structured or even older, just a different mindset. I'm confused. So you demand someone that has never met you and isn't even sure if you're a real person or a bot give you access to his Facebook account or you wait until a few dates and then ask? Link to post Share on other sites
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