Break In A Long Distance (Not sure what the best thing for me to do is.)

[Smitts]

So,

I have been in a long distance relationship for over a year now. About a year and a half.

I have known this person for around 7 years with a period of a few years not having any type of communication with.

 

Anyways, we reconnected and we did really well or so I thought up until about 2 weeks ago. When I had asked if I was sexually pleasing her because I thought I wasn't. She got defensive... Later, she was out and had been drinking and sure enough, she texted me while I was at work to let me know that I hadn't because she wanted it to be much rougher and I was being too gentle I guess. (We've only met like 4 times so far and 3 times we have had sex).

 

Then it just went downhill, her telling me she has her guard up 90% of the time, has commitment issues, daddy issues, etc. and that she just doesn't feel happy with me right now and that she doesn't really feel anything and at one time she did.

 

I also struggle with depression and I think that might be affecting it too.

 

I basically told her I wanted the relationship to work and we both truly said we loved each other....so I said I would give her some space. She took that as me saying Were on a break...so now we are on a break.

 

I've been reading everywhere that basically a break is that we are no longer together...is that true? She said that it's just complicated as of now.

 

She says it's okay to talk and text each other but keep it cordially, there is no constraint on the break (I asked her how long would it last and she said she didn't know), and also that the purpose of the break was to re-evaluate the relationship.

We still have communicated friendly like every day so far, but not for long periods of time.

 

I was talking to some friends...and basically...I was going to ask myself why I want the relationship, why I value it, and if in a month she hasn't brought it up...then ask her if she is willing to talk about the break.

 

I just don't know what to do. And I'm really sad and scared that it wont work out because everything I've read so far has basically said that breaks are basically break-ups.

 

Am I thinking right? Am I thinking of doing the right thing?

If we both truly love each other will it be okay and I'm just over thinking everything?

 

(Keep in mind she said this didn't all come about because of the sex and she is also struggling and focusing on school and works full time too)

[PegNosePete]

Sorry to say, it's over.

 

She's trying to let you down gently. Trying to give rational and logical reasons why it won't work. Withdrawing in the hope that your feelings will diminish, and it will hurt you less when she finally tells you that it's over for good.

 

She still likes you and cares for you and doesn't want to hurt you, but she doesn't want the relationship any more.