my ex is confūsing..**Updated**

[Marc878]

You are making the classes mistake of projecting your feelings onto her.

 

I love her so she loves me. Her actions say different.

 

Breadcrumbs because you can't apply no contact get you nothing except being strung along.

 

The only one keeping you in this is you

[boobooo]

No, we WON’T see if she’ll text back. See, you’re doing it again. Your waiting for her response which is preventing your healing.

 

I already told you what to do, twice now.

 

And that is to block her on everything. Considering she left you on read, there’s no need to tell her anything.<snip>

 

I stopped texting her a while ago when she didn’t respond to my last text... I won’t block her but I won’t contact her again either. I think blocking her would be mean and childish. If she doesn’t want me in her life anymore then I’ll back off. I think she’s already fully over me and I’m still in love with her.. it sucks man. But why would she text me in the first place if she didn’t care about me anymore or didn’t want me in her life? She could’ve simply kept it that way ( no contact ) I’m confused. All I know right now is that I won’t contact her again unless she texts me first :/

Edited September 21, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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[Normm]

I think blocking her would be mean and childish.

 

 

You think wrong. She contacts you at her whim, she has no concern whatsoever for the negative affect it has on you. She's all about what she wants, she's completely uncaring and ignorant of the fact that when she contacts you, it sets you back.

 

 

I blocked my exwife on social media because it's a reminder of a time in my life I prefer not to think about. Does that make me childish and mean? Of course not. It's called "making healthy choices".

 

 

But I'm not so sure that I believe you aren't blocking her for the reasons you give. I think you want to keep that connection open because "you never know if she'll change her mind". She won't and you're being very foolish.

 

 

It's like constantly picking at the scab of a healing wound.

 

 

But why would she text me in the first place if she didn’t care about me anymore or didn’t want me in her life?

 

 

You have shared memories. She's curious, bored, whatever. She dumped you- and she's not about to change her mind. It's over, and eventually you'll accept it. The sooner the better.

 

 

 

I won’t contact her again unless she texts me first :/

 

 

Not good enough. You're like a dog that jumps for the treat when it's master snaps it's fingers.

[boobooo]

You think wrong. She contacts you at her whim, she has no concern whatsoever for the negative affect it has on you. She's all about what she wants, she's completely uncaring and ignorant of the fact that when she contacts you, it sets you back.

 

 

I blocked my exwife on social media because it's a reminder of a time in my life I prefer not to think about. Does that make me childish and mean? Of course not. It's called "making healthy choices".

 

 

But I'm not so sure that I believe you aren't blocking her for the reasons you give. I think you want to keep that connection open because "you never know if she'll change her mind". She won't and you're being very foolish.

 

 

It's like constantly picking at the scab of a healing wound.

 

 

 

 

 

You have shared memories. She's curious, bored, whatever. She dumped you- and she's not about to change her mind. It's over, and eventually you'll accept it. The sooner the better.

 

 

 

 

Not good enough. You're like a dog that jumps for the treat when it's master snaps it's fingers.

 

You’re right with everything you said man but what can I do I miss her so much and I love her. Also, I don’t think she will contact me again :/ she’s completely over me. I’ll just have to move on and respect her decision. Thanks for your words. They really helped me. I won’t contact her ever again and I won’t reply if she texts me. I’ll just disappear from her life :/ I won’t block her tho.. you don’t know what might happen. I want to be there for her if she ever needs me.

[Normm]

You’re right with everything you said man but what can I do I miss her so much and I love her. Also, I don’t think she will contact me again :/ she’s completely over me. I’ll just have to move on and respect her decision. Thanks for your words. They really helped me. I won’t contact her ever again and I won’t reply if she texts me. I’ll just disappear from her life :/ I won’t block her tho.. you don’t know what might happen. I want to be there for her if she ever needs me.

 

 

Sounded great right up until the last line.

 

 

 

Good luck man, you're going to need it.

[boobooo]

Sounded great right up until the last line.

 

 

 

Good luck man, you're going to need it.

 

 

 

Trust me man, I respect her choice and I’ve already accepted the fact that it’s over. I know we won’t get back together anytime soon. I just don’t want to block her just in case she needs me? Other than that, I won’t respond to any unimportant texts from her. It’s time for me to move on and heal all my wounds.

Should I send her a text explaining that and asking her not to contact me unless it’s important or should I just ghost her? Would love to hear your opinion! Thanks again for your advice. It really helped me to see clearer.

[boobooo]

I miss her so much guys. My heart is aching for her. any tips for what to do ?

[boobooo]

I miss my ex girlfriend so much. What should I do? I stopped texting her a while ago after she texted me saying she wants to be friends and then ignoring me afterwards. We had a lil convo after that but she ignored my last texts. I miss her deeply, it hurts. Any tips? What should I do?

[springy]

Keep busy. Exercise, hang out with friends/family, get a new hobby, get busy working toward a goal or two...and give it lots of time. Try not to cyber “stalk” her and stay nc. Sorry, there’s no easy way out, you just gotta go through the motions. It’ll get easier with time and space.

[Metroknox]

Unfortunately, nothing we say will make you feel better. It's truly just a matter of time. I just hit the 3 month mark, and I feel sooooooo much better. I still think about her all of the time, but I'm not really sad anymore. I would probably be a lot better, but we've kept in touch and even hooked up a few times.

 

The first 2 months were definetly hell. I never want to go through that again.

[CKJD]

Don't send her a message ever again. Especially not one requesting her to only contact you if it's important, because it is really obvious that what you're saying is TEXT ME AS SOON AS YOU CHANGE YOUR MIND. Not a great look. You are more dignified than that, you just have to "catch up" to the dumper's view on the relationship. It may have been sudden and confusing when you broke up, but at six months you're well past the "I can't believe this has happened" stage.

 

You NEED to show her you are not so easily set back by flat out ignoring her if she ever does text you again.

 

I regret my polite replies and interactions with my latest ex, because the way she treated me did not warrant a single, solitary kind word on my part. But this comes with reflection and healing.

 

But even if she is done toying with you for now I reckon she will reach out one day, because she clearly thinks she can. Let's hope you haven't missed an opportunity to show her you're the one who is done messing around with her. Because you are done with her. You just don't know it yet.

Edited September 24, 2018 by CKJD

[ExpatInItaly]

You have to more patient with yourself, OP. You're going to hurt for a while; this type of pain takes times to dissipate.

 

In the meantime, do not contact her again. Start looking at your own life and where you can make some positive changes. Reconnect with friends. Join a team or special-interest club and meet new people. Start working out if you don't already do so. I know it all sounds cliche, but it truly does help.

[boobooo]

Hey y’all, just thought I’d give you some quick update. I still haven’t texted her and I am still fighting the urge to do it. I miss her so much, but I know that this is what I have to do. She hasn’t tried to contact me either after she ignored my last texts. It’s been months and things won’t get any better than it already had. I just want to be happy again but knowing that she’s happy without me kills me. I probably don’t even cross her mind.. but I am always thinking about her. I don’t know what to do it makes m me sad knowing that she is just fine without me. I don’t understand how she fell out of love in the matter of a couple months.. we were deeply in love.. it’s crazy how fast people change. Sometimes I just feel like she’s pushing me away because she is trying to protect herself.. help me plZ

[preraph]

The longer you know someone, the more you learn about them. How you feel at the beginning of a relationship is mostly you projecting the "ideal person" onto the other person. It's all it can be, because you don't know them and it takes time to know them. So as time passes, you get to know the real person, and sometimes -- in fact, most of the time, that makes the magic feelings die. At some point, you see that the person is not who you hoped they'd be, and then you fall out of love.

 

She clearly is not going to come back. Her ignoring your texts should be enough to make you realize that, because it's an extreme measure.

 

You need to stop reaching desperately for some other reason she would do this like "protecting herself." This is nonsense. She doesn't care enough about you to even return your texts, much less be your girlfriend again. She's moved on and wants you to do the same. Everyone here has had a hard time getting over someone, and usually several someones. That doesn't make it any less painful, but just know that it's a necessary part of life and that we have to mature enough to see ourselves through it and at least make it as easy as possible on ourselves by acknowledging early on that it's over and not waste as much time on it so we can get on with life.

 

I'm glad you stopped texting her. She knows where you are, but she's made clear she doesn't want to get back together. You need to start staying busy socially and with hobbies to minimize the amount of time you let yourself dwell on this so you can get past it. Distractions really do help.

[BC1980]

It's normal to feel that way. You have to go through the bad feelings to get to the good.

[an0nym0us123]

Been 4 months since i broke up out of the blue and its just this past week that i feel a lot better. I find my mind wandering to other things. Be thankful she is ignoring you because its a clear message. Mine would respond instantly and tell me shes still in love with me but cant be with me. Which is even more of a mindf**k !!!!!

 

Also i know there is an urge to message her. I did too as i felt there was un resolved issues. But i remember watching a video and the guy was explaining that just because you are not sending a message doesnt mean she is not recieving a message. By remaining silent you are sending a message loud and clear that you are moving on with your life and you have more important things to do. And maybe she doesnt care but she will still probably notice that you no longer text. And in time she will probably wonder if she even crosses your mind! You are communicating with her through silence that you have better things to do.

Edited September 27, 2018 by an0nym0us123

[boobooo]

Been 4 months since i broke up out of the blue and its just this past week that i feel a lot better. I find my mind wandering to other things. Be thankful she is ignoring you because its a clear message. Mine would respond instantly and tell me shes still in love with me but cant be with me. Which is even more of a mindf**k !!!!!

 

Also i know there is an urge to message her. I did too as i felt there was un resolved issues. But i remember watching a video and the guy was explaining that just because you are not sending a message doesnt mean she is not recieving a message. By remaining silent you are sending a message loud and clear that you are moving on with your life and you have more important things to do. And maybe she doesnt care but she will still probably notice that you no longer text. And in time she will probably wonder if she even crosses your mind! You are communicating with her through silence that you have better things to do.

 

To be honest, I think your situation is better than mine. She might have her own reasons why she can’t be with you but hey at least she still loves you!! And she tells you that. I don’t even know if she still has any feelings towards me we have been broken up for months my friend and it won’t get any better. I am still in love with her and these feelings won’t go away. I just wish she would text me so I know that she at least still thinks about me or cares about me. She sometimes disappears and hen comes back out of nowhere and I have no idea what that means? Like does she still care? Is that why she comes back? I don’t know man, all I know is that I still love this woman so much and it hurts not being able to talk to her or be with her. We were deeply in love. I don’t know what happened. Wish she would come back.

[an0nym0us123]

Well my ex says shes in love with me but i take it with a pinch of salt. If she was she would not be with someone else!

 

Have you been on any dates? Have you made any effort to find someone else? Maybe you are not emotionally ready for someone else but at least getting out there and meeting others will help. Ive been on a number of dates now. The last 3 women were all over me. I didnt really take to them but its a good feeling knowing you have options.

 

You say she keeps coming back. What does she say?

[boobooo]

Well my ex says shes in love with me but i take it with a pinch of salt. If she was she would not be with someone else!

 

Have you been on any dates? Have you made any effort to find someone else? Maybe you are not emotionally ready for someone else but at least getting out there and meeting others will help. Ive been on a number of dates now. The last 3 women were all over me. I didnt really take to them but its a good feeling knowing you have options.

 

You say she keeps coming back. What does she say?

 

 

Wait so she tells you she’s in love with while being with someone else?! That’s crazy man. You should just block her on everything then and move on with your life. My situation is completely different than yours! No I haven’t been on any dates but some girls try to flirt with me sometimes and it just makes me feel uncomfortable, if I’m being honest. I don’t think I’m ready yet. I don’t even want any new relationship for now. I just want to focus on myself. Last time when she came back she said she wanted to be friends and that she was ‘ over it ‘ but still chose to ignore me afterwards. We had a little conversation but she was being so dry. She stopped texting me when I asked why she was being distant. I just miss her and love her. I don’t know what to do. I stopped texting her after she ignored my last text.

[an0nym0us123]

I dont need to block her. Im not expecting her to reach out and ive no urge to contact her anymore. I had to contact her a few weeks ago for a reason and she told me with out being prompted that her feelings for me have not faded. I asked was she torn and she said a bit. Only satisfaction being that the new guy thinks hes home and dry but hes not haha! Whether or not she does have feelings for me is irrelevant. Bottom line is we are not together and neither are you.

 

I was feeling rubbish 10 days ago but feel pretty good right now so things can change quickly. You might wake up tomorrow feeling totally different.

[Rotn'roses]

You poor dear. Sigh. I hate admitting to this, but I have been one of those stupid females before--you know, the one who doesn't text, even if I did love the guy-but I only did that once, back in May and it was because he treated me like dirt and I knew I shouldn't be attached to someone like that...just saying.

I am not trying to impart a false hope onto your situation since you are standing firm by your heart's desire--which is fine. It is your heart and your life. But, I do hope you get some resolution from this and if she does not come back kissing your butt, then I pray that you find a real stunner next time to take your blues away

[Marc878]

To be honest, I think your situation is better than mine. She might have her own reasons why she can’t be with you but hey at least she still loves you!! And she tells you that. I don’t even know if she still has any feelings towards me we have been broken up for months my friend and it won’t get any better. I am still in love with her and these feelings won’t go away. I just wish she would text me so I know that she at least still thinks about me or cares about me. She sometimes disappears and hen comes back out of nowhere and I have no idea what that means? Like does she still care? Is that why she comes back? I don’t know man, all I know is that I still love this woman so much and it hurts not being able to talk to her or be with her. We were deeply in love. I don’t know what happened. Wish she would come back.

 

Nope, you are projecting your feelings onto her. She isn't into you but you live in denial. The only one keeping you in this is you.

 

She's long gone and you're a needy/hanger on.

 

Wake up and move on like she has. There's nothing there for you.