Not sure ... Trail not cold yet?

[mortensorchid]

Attraction - 3 months of fun. What?

 

It sounds like in this case is just means he is a bit quirky and adventurous.. and does some interesting things with his life. Which gives him that edge. Whereas in your cases it made them a bit "edgy" personality wise?

 

Personality wise? Well I only had one encounter with him and he seemed pretty ... Average at first. But then he started talking about these things like fire walking and fire eating and things, and that kind of ... Turned me on somewhat. He at least established that he had a sense of adventure about him.

 

Here's a new question: It's now Saturday night, he said he would be away this weekend (I also had a plan). And to answer some potential questions, yes I would want to see him again. Should I initiate come Sunday afternoon with a text? I am feeling a certain anxiety mounting that I have had such bad luck in the past. Sending a text couldn't hurt.

[alphamale]

Should I initiate come Sunday afternoon with a text? I am feeling a certain anxiety mounting that I have had such bad luck in the past. Sending a text couldn't hurt.

 

naah, wait for him to contact you first. if he doesn't contact you by, say, Wednesday, then you can contact him.

[mortensorchid]

naah, wait for him to contact you first. if he doesn't contact you by, say, Wednesday, then you can contact him.

 

Alright, I will sit tight and wait.

[coolheadal]

SOrry I haven't responded to this until just now. Guess what? I did go. I scanned the interior of the restaurant and he was not there, so I stood outside near the front door for a bit ... And he DID show up! He parked his car right next to mine!

 

And ... I actually had a good time with him. I didn't think I was going to at first, I thought I had made another date with just another one who ends up being an average guy / complete tool. But I was surprised. I'm not sure how we got on these topics but he said he loves hang gliding and skydiving, and he was going away this weekend for a firewalking event! Where he will walk over fire! I was impressed, truly. This might turn off the average gal but I was impressed he had traveled so much and that he had this edge about him. I didn't say much about myself, I don't want to overwhelm him with things about my past adventures (which has happened before).

 

He walked me to my car! He hugged me good bye and said he wanted to see me again! He was busy that weekend going firewalking but can we get together next week maybe? I said yes. And he texted me as soon as I got home saying he had a good time!

 

And he never answered my text because I switched two numbers. I said I had texted him earlier and he didn't respond, but I double checked the number and he said I switched the numbers.

 

Wow I missed all the fuss again it was the Eve of my Birthday.. I am glad it had worked out this time for you my friend. I hope he turns out to be a keeper! Sound like you had a neat time with each other...

[mortensorchid]

Have some anxiety. I had an OLD on Thursday which I wrote about in a previous thread. It ended well, and when I got home he texted me. I almost did not show up because I had texted him earlier in the day to confirm and got no answer, as we were closing it out I made mention of this. As it turns out I got two digits backwards and texted the wrong number (got no response because it was, in fact, the wrong number). We hugged good-bye. When I got home he texted me some positives. Here are the texts verbatum from my phone:

 

Him: It was really nice meeting you thanks for coming out tonight!

MeL Thank you I did as well it was unexpected.

H: Why unexpected?

M: I wasn't expecting you to be into things like firewalking and whatnot.

H: I like to try new things.

M: I do as well it's gotten me into trouble here and there ha ha ha

H: Trouble can be pretty fun (smiley face)

M: It can be

 

I turned the phone off and went to bed. He said he was going to be away this weekend doing some fire walking, I said I had a plan this weekend as well (my friend's 50th birthday party). Which I went to, I assume he did as well.

 

So ... It's now Sunday night. I am nervous. I'm feeling like the 48 hour rule is about to expire, if you haven't heard anything within 48 hours the trail will go cold. Someone said wait until Wednesday at least. I'm feeling ... Anxious, because that was the first good get together I had had in a very long time. Maybe it's nothing. And thoughts?

[Happy Lemming]

He was away all weekend... He is probably just getting home, as you type this post.

 

If its bothering you that much, text him tomorrow and ask him about the firewalking, ask if he has any pics to share??

 

Everything is fine... He was just away for the weekend, as he had prior plans.

 

This one is going to work out. He is just on the adventurous side, he may have a "Type T" personality.

 

Relax!!

[Larry56]

Maybe go and do something you enjoy...like a hobby and don't be so hung up on a guy fulfilling your happiness...

[MidwestUSA]

If this has any chance, you've GOT to stop saying negative things.

 

'It was unexpected'. Ugh. So now he knows you went in expecting another loser, like those who have disappointed you in the past. And he knows you almost didn't show.

 

You have a thread in which you talk about having things come out of your mouth that you wish you could control. Have you considered seeking help for this?

 

'I had a great time as well; you're really into some interesting things. I'm fascinated'. It's texting, you have time to think about your reply, use it.

 

You have to find a way to generate positivity in your life, and it will spread into your relationships with others.

 

Meanwhile, chill. He said he'd be gone for the weekend. He's probably exhausted. And, I don't know about your area, but we were hit with the remnants of a tropical storm on Friday, and have had eight inches of rain with casualties from flash flooding.

 

Give it a few days, relax.

[guest569]

'It was unexpected'. Ugh. So now he knows you went in expecting another loser, like those who have disappointed you in the past. And he knows you almost didn't show.

 

You have a thread in which you talk about having things come out of your mouth that you wish you could control. Have you considered seeking help for this?

 

'I had a great time as well; you're really into some interesting things. I'm fascinated'. It's texting, you have time to think about your reply, use it.

 

Agreed! Massive ouch to be on the receiving end of 'it was unexpected'.

[BaileyB]

Agree with Midwest USA's comments above. You are always expecting things NOT to work out - it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. Most people will be motivated to spend more time with others who are positive and fun!

 

I personally don't believe in the 48 hour rule. I wouldn't worry about that...

 

Is there a reason why you can't show your interest and send him a text - something fun along the lines of "Did you survive the weekend? How was the firewalk?"

[rightondude]

you agreed in the last post to wait until Tuesday. Why are you freaking out now?

[mortensorchid]

I don't know. I guess this is more of my realization about myself, certain mistakes I have made, as well as how to keep my mouth shut in general. I suppose these things are related to other issues within that have chosen to apply to this situation when it really has not much to do with it.

 

I just now realized something about myself, don't ask me why, but I had a flashback to when I was in 7th grade. I had already been through puberty in the 6th grade - going through the holy terror of mood swings and whatnot as hormones started pumping and changing my body. I also remembered a certain message I was giving myself over and over - stay calm, relax, don't let things bother you, be silent - when I was feeling instances of rage which I realized were caused by chemical changes within me. It's possible to still have these emotions as I go through the Terrible 43s, I just keep many things inside of me. And it's coming out in other ways within me, building to this anxiety. Every behavior has a reason, after all, not an excuse.

 

I'm glad I was able to reach that conclusion thanks to some of the postings here. I will now relax.

Edited September 10, 2018 by mortensorchid
Correcting spelling

[kendahke]

You insist upon finding the negatives, don't you?

[MidwestUSA]

Agreed! Massive ouch to be on the receiving end of 'it was unexpected'.

 

It's not quite as bad as 'you're not as fat as you looked in your pics' tho.

 

[Happy Lemming]

To: "mortensorchid"

 

Did he text you today??

 

Fingers crossed...

[mortensorchid]

I had a date last week with someone I met on Bumble. IT was unexpected, he seemed nice and interested. We met on Thursday, he said he had a plan that weekend as did I.

 

Monday I texted him "I hope you had a nice weekend." He said he was going firewalking (no really). He sent me a photo of the fire and said the fire didn't care. I texted back I hope you didn't end up a CHicken McNugget. Tuesday he texted back (in the evening) saying "Nope my feet are still raw" "4 laps over the coals, 2 over broken glass and not a scratch!" I texted him a photo I took of a kid outside of the Halloween store in a full Spider-Man outfit "I ran over to the car and said I have to take your picture this is hysterical the kid was so happy to be in his Spider-Man outfit". He texted back a smiley face. This was how the remainder went:

 

Me: So anyway...

Him: How's your week treating you?

Me: Quite cra cra but without drama we'd all be pretty bored wouldn't we? You?

H: Mine has been too busy to be boring, I wish the weather was cooperating a bit better though.

M: I will be turning in soon I hope we will chat soon.

 

I turned the phone off and went to bed. At this moment … Nothing else.

 

Is the case going cold? I hope not, he seems decent enough. Granted I know nothing about him other than some factual information.

[Dis]

My gawdddd OP

 

Please stop dramatizing and dooming everything

 

Things are fine!

 

You just posted basically the same thread but felt the need after that to post another one to continue to ruminate

 

Although things are fine right now, I can guarantee you that unless you start projecting a good amount of positivity into your dating life...your dates, love life, etc will continue to be as sad as your threads. It all starts and ends with you.

 

Cheer up! Nothing is wrong, go with the flow and don't invest so much so early on. Just enjoy it!

[FMW]

Sounds good so far to me. Relax and don't rush things.

[Malin889]

Sounds great. Maybe when you turned off the phone, instead of texting you, he tried to call you, but you didn't know cause you turned off the phone. You never know! :-) I think you should just relax. Sounds like a successful text exchange.

[Happy Lemming]

He is probably doing some date planning for the weekend for the two of you. He texted that its a busy week, probably has his hands full at work...

 

I'm sure he will text or call you with some great weekend plans for a date that you will both enjoy.

 

So far... so good... just relax and let it play out.

[MidwestUSA]

You're in your 40's. Rather than 'hope we will chat soon', just ask him out!

 

Just. Do. It.

 

Come up with a concrete idea, time and place, and ask him. If he blows you off, you'll have your answer, and can stop wondering.

[Eternal Sunshine]

Sounds to me like 2 people trying to force something without any spark. It shouldn't be that tedious.

[LoverOfDance]

Sounds fine to me. You don't have to document everything on here though. You seem like you don't trust yourself and are hoping for us to direct you. What the hell do we know? We are trying to figure this whole life and dating thing out ourselves.

 

Just date him. Whatever happens, happens. OP, the success of your life is not based on the success of your romantic encounters/relationships. You'll be ok regardless of what happens with this man or the man after, you'll be fine.

[MidwestUSA]

Another thing that struck me, OP.

 

This:

 

"H: Mine has been too busy to be boring, I wish the weather was cooperating a bit better though.

M: I will be turning in soon I hope we will chat soon."

 

You didn't let the convo just fade out, you shut it off. Why not ask him what it is he'd like to be doing if it wasn't raining? (I'm assuming you're getting the rain we had). 'What's wrong, fire put out your coals? Why, did you find some lava you wanted to hike through?" Anything at all to find out more about what he's interested in. Your sign off reads like you're an old lady, and can't stay up a minute past your bedtime. That's not going to excite an adventure lover. You could have asked if he had time to chat tomorrow, or even, gasp!, tell him you'd like to pick up the phone and continue rather than do the tedious text thing. This is no way to get to know someone.

 

And the way you relay to us - 'I turned off the phone, went to bed, nothing since' sounds so defeated! Did you expect him to magically know when your phone got turned back on and jump on it? How many hours has it been? Stop counting! And you can initiate, you know.

 

Are you a better conversationalist with some liquor in you? Ask him out and get a couple of drinks in you. What's the worst that can happen? (No, don't answer that )

[Happy Lemming]

You don't have to document everything on here though.

 

I like reading "mortensorchid's" threads/updates... I'm retired and it fills the day.