Finances and Parenting

[Leigh 87]

Be careful what you wish for. Twins!!! Mr. Lucky

 

I actually think I will be getting my ovaries drilled - which avoids multiples in woman with PCOS....

 

I get 28 day cycles and my body is healthy, but my friend with mhy exact same case of PCOS says her specialists tell her that: having as many cysts as we do (we have skinny high cysts PCOS) - means that while our bodies want to ovulate, the cysts block the path of the developed egg.

 

Plus - with so many immature folicles floating round - ANY could grow big, hence the rates of twins are SO high with PCOS ladies.....

 

Ovulation induction drugs carry a high rate of multiples on their own. Much less my other independent risk factor of having a very high number (even for a woman with PCOS) of potential eggs available...

 

Hence the drilling seems a better fit, and something I will bring up and push for in my appointment.

 

Twins run in our family:sick:

 

I feel like I will have a girl, a boy couple years later and then a third later in life. Although I am just intuitive and not psychic (I just have life like dreams about future stuff occasionally nothing big).

 

Poor or not, a healthy child would be the best thing that could happen to me, twins or whatever.... I hope it goes smoothly; I have suffered enough as it is with this evil infertility.

Edited September 19, 2018 by Leigh 87

[MidwestUSA]

Leigh, are you talking IVF? Or will you start off with hormone treatments, whatever it's called?

[Leigh 87]

Leigh, are you talking IVF? Or will you start off with hormone treatments, whatever it's called?

 

 

 

No.

 

We will not be pursuing IVF, it is not for us. Nor is adoption.

 

Ovarian drilling is a good fit for women with my particular type of PCOS, or else ovulation induction with letrozol/femera. If that doesn't work - it will be onto self injecting gonadatripins/ and other hormones..

 

But I believe my ovaries are not the most stubborn case, given I at least get periods naturally and 28 day ones at that (most of the time - I either get 28 day cycles, or I bleed constantly lol every 2.5 months)

 

I will be asking for the drilling personally, as it is free with my private health and has an 80% success rate of restoring ovulation and drilling away the cysts. And is only keyhole so nothing too major...

 

We aim to be able to get it done and start trying to conceive this summer break in October.

[clia]

So does that mean you will be completing podiatry school while pregnant / with an infant and trying to start your career while simultaneously caring for a baby? Do you think you can handle both? Or are you planning to be a stay at home mom?

[Leigh 87]

So does that mean you will be completing podiatry school while pregnant / with an infant and trying to start your career while simultaneously caring for a baby? Do you think you can handle both? Or are you planning to be a stay at home mom?

 

Not "planning" at all, as we have no idea how long it will take me to conceive. It could take 4 or 5 years even with treatment.

 

We have no idea when it will happen.

 

We are going to start non invasive fertility treatment over the summer break. It probably will not work right away, therefore we will stop once I go back to uni, and re start treatment once I graduate October next year.

 

I will not be using contraception in the mean while and if it happens it would be great news - I can easily defer Uni, and would have not long to go until I graduate when I came back to the degree later on one the baby allows for it.

 

Many pregnant women at my Uni have managed to complete degrees while pregnant. I would initially try that, as the uni grants extensions to pregnant women all the time. If I just cannot manage due to severe morning sickness which many women get, even with the generous extensions granted - I would defer my degree. Having a family comes first, and while ideally, we would prefer a baby come in... well, October next year the second I am done podiatry school - with my infertility, we simply do not have the luxury of planning - nor do we want to postpone it one bit, given it often takes women with my disorder many, many years to conceive....

 

I have no expectations - I would just do the best I could - if I fall pregnant asap- GREAT - I will just try and make college work if I could, and if not I would gladly defer and get back to the degree later.

And yes, I intend to be a stay at home mum. I only ever to use my degree to work part time and be a full time mum for the most part. My profession is ideal for mums - as there is a LOT of part time roles and it is actually hard to get anything full time anyway....

I would go back to work full time only when the kids are in school. A part time podiatry wage is enough and partner has reached a level of income where I would not "have" to work, but would still want to a couple of days a week.

 

Goal one is to conceive - Uni is second. But both are things I HAVE to do in my life, it is just due to my condition that we have no idea which will occur first, nor how I would handle it if I did conceive sooner than later whilst I am studying.

 

When you know it could take you several years to conceive, you just prioritise it. You realise you can make the other aspects of your life work later, but it is foolish to postpone having kids when it will likely take you many years to conceive anyway,

[noelle303]

Leigh, have you ever actually tried to get pregnant before? Or not used any preventative methods while being sexually active?

 

I mean, you seem kind of convinced that you are infertile, but I have to tell you - many women with PCOS manage to get pregnant naturally. Especially since you say that your cycles are regular.

 

Maybe you should stop overthinking it so much and simply see what happens - many doctors reccommend seeing a fertility specialist only after about a year of trying and not getting pregnant.

[Leigh 87]

Leigh, have you ever actually tried to get pregnant before? Or not used any preventative methods while being sexually active?

 

I mean, you seem kind of convinced that you are infertile, but I have to tell you - many women with PCOS manage to get pregnant naturally. Especially since you say that your cycles are regular.

 

Maybe you should stop overthinking it so much and simply see what happens - many doctors reccommend seeing a fertility specialist only after about a year of trying and not getting pregnant.

 

 

I went off BC a year and a half ago - BUT - I did not get a period for 6 months - so that was 6 months of not ovulating.

 

I then got natural periods 3 months in a row - but different times each months so very irregular - and then the third month in a row I got a period - I bled and did not stop.....

 

I then went to see a natropath, and Chinese medicine and acupuncturist.

 

Within 1 month I had regular 28 day cycles.

 

I then stopped the natural remedies and started bleeding non stop again.

 

I am on month 1.5 of bleeding non stop, and am doing acupunctue Chinese medicine and medical grade natural hormone balancing pills daily and nightly.

 

The bleeding has already gotten much lighter. Although it was never heavy nor painful - just constant.

 

I can only fall pregnant if I ovulate an egg, and my eggs are good enough quality. Eastern Medicine like acupuncture and Chines herbs help restore egg quality. Plus acupuncture alone, makes me go from a very anxious person, to a veryyyy relaxed, happy person who is never depressed......

 

Look - most woman with PCOS take YEARS.... to conceive - and then they miscarry multiple times. I will more than likely need, at the very least - ovarian drilling to get rid of the cysts that built up (the immature follicles) when I was previously unhealthy for a good year after going off the pill....

 

I may never conceive. Nothing is a given, and PCOS has a veryyyyyyyyyyy very high rate of women who are infertile for their entire lives.

 

Plus we are against doing IVF or adopting as it is just not for us, so we really have a slim chance or at best - a 50/50 dice roll of ever conceiving....

 

Sure, if I was willing to do IVF 5 plus times or adopt or foster to adopt - sure, I would have a kid 99%....... BUT -we would prefer, the two of us in this relationship would prefer - to just grieve and accept it is not meant to be, and we know we have the capacity to love living DINK style - it is not our first choice, but we would be far happier doing that; we would feel like as science experiment with IVF, and adoption just does not feel right for us.

 

So... Given that I am ONLY willing to do ovary drilling and OR letrozol or injection ovulation induction drugs----- I have prob 50% or less shot at ever conceiving and carrying - the miscarriage rate is over 60% with PCOS so...

 

Yeah - This thread will more than likely result in my coming back one day in the future and being like... Yeah so, we just got back from our yearly holiday, career is great and we adopted 20 dogs

[Leigh 87]

I have an emergency appointment with my doctor Monday.

 

Hopefully she can refer me to a good endocrinologist so I can not only seek alternative help (that DOES work to a large degree - acupuncture has changed my life) - but now I can get the more specialised help that I need. Bleeding for months in a row sucks - despite the fact I do get regular periods too, in between the long, constant bleeding cycles:sick:

 

Throughout my life I have only ever seen the "good" GPs.. you know, the ones who use natural remedies AND medical stuff and who actually know how to treat all kinds of conditions without slapping a one approach fits all (with PCOS even specialists just say " just take birth control and then come back when you are trying to conceive and we will do IVF or ovulation drugs). Where as many women conceive using Chinese medicine WITH modern medicine, in the right combination - it usually, almost always works with PCOS along being the only issue - if only most women with PCOS could afford proper treatment.

 

My GP is hard to see, has no new openings and is just really, really good. But once she heard about my bleeding - she is taking me ASAP (she has a 3 to 4month waiting list) - and running a bunch of tests to ensure it is ONLY my pcos and my sh*t hormones.... after which, she will personally put together my own unique vitamins and mineral potent medical grade supplement, based on my blood results - to try help balance my hormones naturally rather than just throwing me own birth control, which is only a band-aid and never allows your body to even attempt to heal and regulate naturally....

 

I must say, bleeding non stop for months felt very draining indeed. I became bed ridden and some days, nearly deferred my degree:sick: It was just too much... to think I would not only live as an infertile and childless woman in world full of un deserving mums who get pregnant without trying - but to also have to go suffer through months of non stop periods:sick:

 

With my perspective, conceiving is a miracle and so I am just not one of those women who needs to have all her sh*t together and X amount of savings before I even "try" to conceive.

 

And I do not even have it bad compared to most women with my disease. I really take my hat off to women with PCOS who are not as fortunate as myself I have a fiance and parents to afford the very best medical care for me whilst I study podiatry and cannot work much.... Most women are obese, get a full beard, have acne to varying degrees, AND are rendered infertile my this awful illness that is "invisible".

 

Many women with PCOS (read: VERY common here).....soak through a super tampon and maxi pad within one hour or less for 1 year straight....and need multiple blood transfusions, to be on 4 different birth control pills A DAY, OR- many sadly get a hysterectomy at ages 26

 

I bleed light to medium and it stops, it just is fairly constant once every three cycles it happens - at least I can get regular cycles right?

 

But when I do get periods, they are very regular albeit, only two or three in a row are with me ovulating... And I have only been off the pill and having natural periods for a year and a bit, so maybe ... maybe there is some hope for me.... But money side, I will for sure never prevent a miracle, considering I may never conceive OR carry.....

 

I need to get myself well and recover from the blood loss. This could take a good year in itself, which just so happens to co inside with my graduating podiatry at age 32. Yes, I changed careers later in life and found my falling a bit later than most women.

 

I am thinking that I should focus on graduating on time and not failing and therefore, being held back a year longer... as it will take that long to fix my hormones anyway, with no chance of pregnancy in the meanwhile, until my doctor and specialists AND acupuncturists - all work their magic.

 

All this treatment is very expensive - but at least I get a shot at conceiving one day, poor or not at the time....

[Leigh 87]

Leigh, have you ever actually tried to get pregnant before? Or not used any preventative methods while being sexually active?

 

I mean, you seem kind of convinced that you are infertile, but I have to tell you - many women with PCOS manage to get pregnant naturally. Especially since you say that your cycles are regular.

 

Maybe you should stop overthinking it so much and simply see what happens - many doctors reccommend seeing a fertility specialist only after about a year of trying and not getting pregnant.

 

We have not used protection for a year and a half since going off the Pill - but then again - I did not get a period for a good 5 to 6 months post pill, therefore I was not actually ovulating at all ....

 

Then 4.5 months post pill has been non stop bleeding.

 

I have only had about 6 regular 28 day cycles post pill:sick: Three of them start and finishing on the same day, so I have prob only ovulated like 2 or 3 times in 1.5 years.

 

Yes I need to see a specialist to get pregnant. We are going down this road ASAP not that he landed a high enough paying job.

 

Him nor I decided we do not want to postpone it and be older parents if at all possible.

[No_Go]

1 year attempts (i.e. no protection sex) under 35 makes for an infertility diagnosis.

 

Why is the constant bleeding? How are your progesteron levels?

 

Three of them start and finishing on the same day - that's unlikely a period, you may need to dig further what causes your bleeds.

 

We have not used protection for a year and a half since going off the Pill - but then again - I did not get a period for a good 5 to 6 months post pill, therefore I was not actually ovulating at all ....

 

Then 4.5 months post pill has been non stop bleeding.

 

I have only had about 6 regular 28 day cycles post pill:sick: Three of them start and finishing on the same day, so I have prob only ovulated like 2 or 3 times in 1.5 years.

 

Yes I need to see a specialist to get pregnant. We are going down this road ASAP not that he landed a high enough paying job.

 

Him nor I decided we do not want to postpone it and be older parents if at all possible.

[Leigh 87]

1 year attempts (i.e. no protection sex) under 35 makes for an infertility diagnosis.

 

Why is the constant bleeding? How are your progesteron levels?

 

Three of them start and finishing on the same day - that's unlikely a period, you may need to dig further what causes your bleeds.

 

I mean I got a 28 day cycle, for three cycles in a row. Cycles started on the 8th of the month each month, for 3 months in a row. Lasted 28 days. Bleeding a normal amount of days.

 

I do not believe I am infertile - I just think my body needs a bit of extra help to ovulate as regularly as other women - the fact I even got some regular cycles in a row for PCOS is a great sign, and I will more than likely conceive when my doctor and more than likely a specialist, figure out how to get my body ovulating regularly. So not totally infertile by any stretch. I have my ovaries, uterus, eggs left, and the ability to have a very high likelihood of conceiving, and only need to work on hormonal balance/ovulating.

 

I have ovulated for 3 months in a row thus far which is still something - before medical treatment. I had another 3 periods too post pill once a month albeit on different days. So my body is for sure trying to work, and is not totally dead/unresponsive.

 

Many women with pcos get 0 periods. Ever. Yet most of those women respond to ovulation induction drugs. And the women that bleed constantly have it way worse than me - they usually bleed very very heavy with pain and cramps and need blood transfusions. My bleeding is not heavy or worrying although it does suck. When I stick to acupuncture and Chinese herbs my bleeding stopped he last time I bled for months at a time - the bleeding then only returned once I stopped doing acupuncture/Chinese herbs. SO - I may just need that the second time around to stop the bleeding again and then to maintain the treatment long term, to stop prolonged bleeding from occurring again...

 

My doctor is one of the best prefers natural remedies to just throwing women with pcos on the bc pill and only coming off it to conceive - she is all about trying to regulate hormones without quick fixes. She would rather that I have periods monthly and ovulate each month, then get thrown on the pill and then need ovulation drugs to conceive.

 

But I supposed it is a blessing in disguise that it will take a few years longer to conceive and carry - at least we will be forced by default, to be more financially comfortable by the time babies are here!

Edited September 22, 2018 by Leigh 87

[Leigh 87]

Part of the reason I am not yet worrying about my ability to conceive just yet despite being 31 - is because in the year and a half off the pill - my fiance worked interstate as a truck drive most of the time, we did not have sex every week/have it enough to be truly concerned that I am "infertile" just yet.

 

That and the fact I did not have periods for months and was not ovulating - there were no opportunities to conceive - the 3 months my periods were regular, he was working away from home a lot, we did not have sex often and 3 months is still within the normal time frame for normal, healthy women to take to conceive.

 

I have a good feeling that after a year or two I may conceive with minor medical help, I just do not feel it will take longer than 2 years. Just a feeling I have.

[Leigh 87]

Well my parents are being annoying about all this.

 

They think I should wait until a couple of years after I graduate - they said I should use protection until I am 35 or 36, as it is important to have the basics like owning a home and having plenty of savings.

 

I am glad I did not fall pregnant sooner than now - as we were not in the right state in our relationship or financially so in a way, 33 ish would actually be the ideal time for us - but yeah, there is now way we listen to people who tell us that we have to postpone for TOO long.....

 

I think 33 is a good compromise for us to start assisted conception rather than right away however; they were right that Fiance only just got his big break work wise, and it would be nice for him to go full time rather than casual (after 6 mnths probation) and for him to consistently keep earning 2K a week so that way we can save a little for emergencies.

 

I am 31 he is 32, so when I am 33 I feel that is a good time to start trying.

 

In the meanwhile we will not prevent, but with pcos I will need help to ovulate and maybe to carry (progesterone gets low and u need emergency help to maintain and carry the pregnancy)

 

Mentally we are ready for the commitment though and the baby would have its basic needs met and I would be able to stay home - but it is foolish to actively "try" fertility treatments until we.. well, have the money FOR the treatments LOL... let alone a lack of savings.

 

It is one of those tricky situations where.. we cannot in good conscience prevent at this age, as we have the right feelings, right relationship and right future career trajectories that are in his site and close enough in my immediate future that I do not feel we would be poor for long.... YET we will still not actively try- remember - unprotected sex is not "trying" with pcos.

 

I have a feeling in a year or two it will just happen prior to us starting fertility assisted conception type of help. Fingers crossed.

 

Parents will be livid in the meanwhile but oh well, my dad does not understand why a woman would be depressed over her inability to have a child due to having left it too late - he says that "Well, if u have a child before you have plenty of financial security you will just be miserable and regret it and u wold have been happier if u had just not had kids at all" type of thing.

 

I do not think men get it. My outlook is - you know if you want to be a parent and you just make it work - even poor people make it work and manage to work hard enough to provide well enough.

 

If we met at a younger age I have a feeling we would have waited but who knows - it just feels like anything from now is "right" for us mentally and emotionally. A year from now would be ideal though so my PCOS has proved to actually have a plus side - in that we have been forced to wait to have kids until we are more ready financially and dare I say - emotionally due to the stress of study and my degree.

 

I will continue to laugh it off when well meaning friends tell us that we should wait until after 35 since podiatry and career are so important - to them right? Not to me. I Just want to be a mum and work part time and make raising kids meaningful and fulfilling to them.

 

People just impose their own values and beliefs and expect you to listen since they have been there... I could never place career over my ability to conceive children while I am still at a more preferable age...I just cannot fathom holding off deliberately at this stage in my life, it just feels wrong to me and to my fiance.

 

I am surprised at how many people just flippantly say oh just wait, 35 is fine, be financially stable..... I mean I KNOW having money and being responsible is super important but.. again - this is something that CAN be changed after a baby, especially if you are over half way there pre baby with the leg work mostly done.