Collective Problems in Love and Romance

[Mysterio]

Yeah, I noticed the same time. Every single time I actively chased a girl, I got shot down. So, I just stopped doing it. Now, when I am interested, I never chase because I know that will just make her run away. I just try to lure them to me. Seems to work the best.

 

 

So whats your tackle bait Enigma.

Edited September 3, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Fix quote

[hotpotato]

Women have their own problems. If there weren't hoops for them to jump through, there wouldn't be any ladies here asking for advice on what to do. Ladies just have different issues to worry about.

 

While ladies are usually looked at in a sexual way, it's not always romantic. Just because some dude is tryin to have sex with her doesn't mean he wants to call her the next day. That is a problem most men never have to deal with. For example, I have never had sex with a woman and her not want a relationship. How many ladies can say the same about the guys they've been with?

 

Thank you! That's basically what I tell guys I know. There's a guy who says these women want to use him for money. However, these women spend time with him, go on trips and dates with him gladly. They'd commit to him in a heartbeat and more or less 'love' him. If a man just wants sex from me, he'd maybe take me on one date, then ask for sex, never spend quality time with me. I've had very few men put in the time and try to get to know me.

 

I certainly can't say 90% of men look at me romantically, maybe 10%. Most of the time, guys want the sex up front and then want to figure out if they like me later.

[OatsAndHall]

When dating, I just take it as a given that I will have to make the first move and then I go from there. If a woman's interested, she'll reciprocate and we'll move forward. If she doesn't, then I'll ether take it as she's not interested and move on. And, I've learned to be assertive so that a woman knows I'm asking them on a date and not tossing myself into the Friend Zone.

 

 

 

I cold called a woman a few weeks ago and we went out on a few dates. I thought they went well but apparently she didn't as she pulled a slow fade on me. Our last date actually finished up with a heavy petting session that I thought was a good sign. She didn't respond to the last message I sent, asking her if she wanted to meet up again so I chalked it up to experience and moved on.

[KatCha]

I am old-fashioned, I suppose. And simple. And a terrible romantic. That is where I am at, and that is where I have always been at in my life, when it comes to dating. (Lets out a dramatic, long, romantic sigh). Lol. haha.

I have always done the leg-work in the past, and it has never turned out well for me. I ended up doing everything and I did not even realize that that gave the guy the opportunity to walk all over me, use me for his own purposes, and date more than just me.

I plan on letting the man take the initiative in the future, if I decide to date again. My dream guy would do everything perfect without me having to tell him how I like it because he is intelligent and intuitive enough to understand me and what would make me happy (on the surface of things, and can read the signs right)--which doesn't take a lot of brainpower. I have never met one guy who took the time to look at me in any kind of setting long enough to understand the kind of woman I am. I see that in other people and adjust my behavior to meet their's so that they feel comfortable around me. I like to treat people how they like to be treated by what they show me about themselves. I suppose society tells us to be "you" around others, but that is not what I am talking about, really, here. I am talking about being old fashioned I suppose. A lady is always a good hostess in any situation and will kindly make sure that the people around her are comfortable and treated well and I take it a step further, as they show me or tell me how they like to be treated. (It took me a long time to learn that I should not do this for people who just want sex and drugs!!) And I like to think I embody that heritage, which I was just naturally born with and learned from my grandmother-who was beautiful and full of grace and very sweet and her strength was her gentleness and charm when she was around other people.

[thefooloftheyear]

IMy other male friends just basically had their women just drop in their lap. I do talk to a lot of people a week. I don't always try to be scoping out romantic prospects all the time. I find that when I am in a not caring to try to be out to date a woman. Thats when certain women find me romantically appaling. Never when I am straight to the point with them.

 

'm not particularly tall. ..I am kind of a jerk, completely closed off to people I don't know, don't approach women and know nothing about "game", yet in my entire life, At any given time, I have always had at least 1 or 2 women around that I could be with, probably more as unattractive women don't even register on my radar(sorry).

 

I don't say this to boast or make anyone that struggles feel bad about themselves...I'm only pointing out that most of the advice given while well intentioned, just won't help a lot of guys...At the end of the day, it's all about them and what they bring to the table.. And a lot of it is intangible...Are you an interesting enough person for someone to want to get to know you?

 

It must be maddening for some guys to sit around and hear women talk of how you need to be nice and polite, well dressed, have a nice smile, confidence etc, yet we all know plenty of broke ass unaccomplished bums that have zero trouble finding women(yes, even well accomplished and good looking women) to not only date them, but marry them, financially support them, etc...If you listen to a lot of women, guys like these wouldn't get within a 100yds of ANY woman...Nonsense.,.,

 

As for the OP. My only advice is to study and examine what it is about those guys that you know that had women "fall into their lap",, , What about them is different than you?, and don't necessarily focus on looks.. Also. I know you routinely speak of having a wide circle of female friends....I know guys that do the same...There is something about those guys that make them unappealing to other women looking for men for real relationships...No offense and I am not making any assumptions but I believe some women find guys like that to have more of the qualities that gay guys do...I know of no men that are really successful with women/dating that have a lot of female friends...None.,.,..If I were you, id start by distancing myself from those female friends.. I think its giving you negative energy in terms of attracting a viable partner..

 

TFY