geartips Posted August 16, 2018 Posted August 16, 2018 (edited) Hello to all I will try to keep this thread little bit shorter so you can read it better. Recently i met a girl who is few years older then me, she has a sort of boyfriend but she doesn't like him at all, she wants to break up with him for over 1 year now but he is still stalking her in some way and somehow they end up again together...long story Anyhow, what is your advice in secretly dating this girl? I was with her few times, but i am always on needles sort of speak if he will come, or he will call her or something similar and he will catch us together..I like the girl, but i am not in love with her or anything, i would love to hang around with her and see how it goes, but this guy is problem.. She clearly states even to him that she doesn't want anymore with him but he is like a crazy person who is obsessive over her and he always forgives her all and wants to come back etc.. She is little bit wild about that, and i think she likes to manipulate some man...anyhow i don't want anything serious with her, i want to fool around because i am not ready for any full time relationship too, but again i can't see her if i have fear each time that he will bang on door or something similar... What is your advice and have you been on similar situation? Thanks Edited August 16, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Clean up sentence structure for clarity
BaileyB Posted August 16, 2018 Posted August 16, 2018 I wouldn't date a girl secretly that has a boyfriend... And, if you do, you get what you deserve. If you like her and you want to date her, tell her to break up with her crazy boyfriend and call you when she is single. It's not rocket science. 2
Zahara Posted August 16, 2018 Posted August 16, 2018 I would leave her alone. They both sound like a toxic mess. Don’t get involved with people that have partners. It’ll only bring drama to your life. This guy is probably still in the picture because she wants him there. You said she manipulates men so you don’t know how she’s playing him as well. If he’s unbalanced, then stay away from both of them.
ExpatInItaly Posted August 16, 2018 Posted August 16, 2018 Not very smart to mess around with this girl if she's got a boyfriend, OP, especially if he's as obsessive and unbalanced as she claims. There isn't really much more advice to give, other than sleeping with one eye open and avoiding dark alleys and late-night callers to your house, I suppose. 1
smackie9 Posted August 16, 2018 Posted August 16, 2018 This girl is feeding you a line. She still loves her BF, and you are just some strange on the side. If this guy is checking up on her, she has a history of cheating/messing around. He's not cray cray, he's being a concerned BF. You are taking a big risk dating someone like her. This BF of hers is going to mess your face up for your troubles. 1
Rockdad Posted August 16, 2018 Posted August 16, 2018 An obsessed crazy guy in a dysfunctional relationship with some girl and you would even consider jumping into the drama pit with them? Do you know what this guy is actually capable of if he personally zero's in on you? Is a roll in the hay worth the aftermath to you?
kendahke Posted August 16, 2018 Posted August 16, 2018 (edited) What is your advice Leave her alone. If she didn't want to deal with him, she'd take steps to not deal with him. She's not doing that, so there is still something that he does for her that she's not prepared to relinquish. You don't want him and his boys to ride up on you because you can't keep your mitts off his girlfriend. And what's with this "secret" mess? If right is so on your side, you should date her openly and not fear what her boyfriend has to say or do. People do things in secret that they want to hide because they know they're in the wrong. and have you been on similar situation? No because I don't waste my time on people who are already in active relationships or in relationships with "crazy" girlfriends. Edited August 16, 2018 by kendahke
carhill Posted August 16, 2018 Posted August 16, 2018 Considering you were just dumped and your ex is pregnant... I got left by my gf after 8 years, she is pregnant now? I'd keep things light, date other ladies and whatever happens happens. Romance, and breakups, don't follow rigid rules and anyone can break any rule at any time. I've seen this back and forth happen a lot in life, the guys who were cool, analyzed the social power gain/status of the lady, used the estranged husband's/boyfriend's territoriality against him craftily, they got what they wanted. It might not be what you or I want but our lives, and opinions, are irrelevant to them. They do what they want to benefit themselves. Since you're fresh out of a breakup, and apparently want to date women, do that but avoid focusing on any particular lady for now. In time, perhaps. This one might still be around. Might not. Hard to know.
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