She wants to make decisions for herself

[d0nnivain]

You do have things left. You have your health. You have your family & your friends. You have your job & your interests / hobbies. You have your whole life. You still have to find your perfect match / soulmate. It just wasn't her. That hurts so bad right now.

 

Your life is not over. Hang in there.

[ExpatInItaly]

She slept with two guys, not just one. I have nothing left.

 

Are you still asking her about her sex life, OP?

 

If so, you have to stop.

[joemax]

I didn’t ask, I received an anonymous text about it, and she confirmed that it was true.

 

I can’t get out of bed I don’t know what to do

[d0nnivain]

I can’t get out of bed I don’t know what to do

 

Take the weekend & wallow. But know you have to get out of bed come Monday morning. As hard as it is, you have to put one foot in front of the other but for right now you do get to grieve the loss of this relationship.

 

Do you have a good buddy who will come over & commiserate with you?

[ExpatInItaly]

I didn’t ask, I received an anonymous text about it, and she confirmed that it was true.

 

I can’t get out of bed I don’t know what to do

 

And you are sure she didn't sleep with him while you were together?

 

It seems very odd to me than an anonymous source would update you about her sex life, when you are her ex.

[marky00]

I respectfully disagree. I was ready to commit once she was done school, I was ready to move in together, and she wasn’t.

 

Yeah, saying she was outpacing him doesn't sound right.

 

I experienced this once when I dated a younger girl. Over 10 years age difference. I asked her years later why she left and she said something about thinking that I wasn't advancing myself. Of course I had a job, was doing well for myself and actually saved her from being kicked out of the country. She on the other hand dropped out of uni and had no job.

 

Yes, in her mind she might feel "she is outpacing him" but its just in her mind. Its the amazing feeling of new found freedom that makes her feel that way.

 

It comes down to perceptions and feelings, not a "real" comparison of who is advancing faster.

[joemax]

Take the weekend & wallow. But know you have to get out of bed come Monday morning. As hard as it is, you have to put one foot in front of the other but for right now you do get to grieve the loss of this relationship.

 

Do you have a good buddy who will come over & commiserate with you?

 

I do. But I don’t wanna cry in front of people.

 

And you are sure she didn't sleep with him while you were together?

 

It seems very odd to me than an anonymous source would update you about her sex life, when you are her ex.

 

I’m not sure. I don’t think I should ask

[ExpatInItaly]

I’m not sure. I don’t think I should ask

 

Probably not, no. What's done is done now. I just find it bizarre that anyone would tell you otherwise.

 

What did this message say?

[d0nnivain]

I'm not talking about crying in front of "people" just your very best BFF.

[joemax]

Probably not, no. What's done is done now. I just find it bizarre that anyone would tell you otherwise.

 

What did this message say?

 

I deleted it as soon as I saw it but it said something like “Your ex slept with her ex I have proof”. I asked her and she confirmed it was true.

[marky00]

OP, your not expected to just "get over it" over the weekend. Yo were dumped by someone you loved and have now found out she's been sleeping with other guys. Even if it started 1 day after the BU, that still indicates she had zero investment in your relationship when it ended..

 

Take the time you need. Lean into the pain. And for now, go full No Contact. Admittedly, you can't really block anonymous text messages.

Edited August 24, 2018 by marky00

[d0nnivain]

OP, your not expected to just "get over it" over the weekend.

 

Take the time you need. Lean into the pain. And for now, go full No Contact. Admittedly, you can't really block anonymous text messages.

 

He doesn't have to get over her over the weekend but he can't take a week or longer off from work. He can totally wallow this weekend but be prepared to appear for work on Monday. That's all I said. It's obviously going to take a while to recover but he can't let the rest of his life go to pot.

[joemax]

I can’t believe she slept with her ex and another random. And she posts a picture with the other guy on social media. She has no respect? I know she’s single and can do whatever she wants but do I count for nothing? How can you **** someone not even a week after breaking up with supposedly the love of your life and best friend?

[joemax]

How do I get the image of her and the other guys all over her out of my head

[ExpatInItaly]

I can’t believe she slept with her ex and another random. And she posts a picture with the other guy on social media. She has no respect? I know she’s single and can do whatever she wants but do I count for nothing? How can you **** someone not even a week after breaking up with supposedly the love of your life and best friend?

 

Because unfortunately, she emotionally checked out of the relationship a long time ago. It's hurtful but she was gone when she first mentioned breaking up several months back. No, it doesn't mean you counted for nothing, but it does mean that she no longer felt the way she once did about you. I know, it's a painful realization.

 

The image of her with someone else will sting for a little while. The best you can do is distract yourself with other activities when the thought enters your head, and trust that over time, it will start to hurt less and less. It hurts like hell now because it's fresh.