Double betrayal

[alsudduth]

But, how will she be able to sit across the table from her daughter in law who betrayed her? It isn't just the son's feelings that have to be taken in to account.

 

Her son already filed for divorce.

[stillafool]

Her son already filed for divorce.

 

Oh, I didn't see that part. I thought he was keeping her for the kids. Good for him. I hope OP does decide to follow his actions.

[doublebetrayed]

I’ve retained a lawyer and will be filing for divorce. It’s come out that they’ve been sleeping together since before we got married. He claims it was on and off, but it doesn’t matter anymore. He’s out of my house and I suspect he and my son’s wife are living together.

 

I feel like such a fool that I didn’t pick up on anything for the last five years. He denies it, but I think he only married me to be close to her.

[BaileyB]

You clearly made the right decision.

 

I'm glad he is gone from your home, and soon to be gone from your life.

[Colin Grant]

I’ve retained a lawyer and will be filing for divorce. It’s come out that they’ve been sleeping together since before we got married. He claims it was on and off, but it doesn’t matter anymore. He’s out of my house and I suspect he and my son’s wife are living together.

 

I feel like such a fool that I didn’t pick up on anything for the last five years. He denies it, but I think he only married me to be close to her.

 

I rarely tell people I'm sorry for there misfortune. Not because there unworthy, but it just seems a little disingenuous. However, I sincerely hurt for you. Some stories are so horrific, I can't even read them. This is one of them, however for reasons unknown, I read it and it sucks just like I thought it would.

 

Are you F'N KIDDING ME! I often wish I can jump through the internet and console some, but kick the axxes of others. You AND your son (pains me to say that) should sue AND seek damages (if permissible in your state), not to mention go completely dark on both for the remainder of your life. Pure f'n scumbags. How does one go from being a father-in-law to f'ing the daughter in-law. By putting to f'd up people in the same environment.

 

Your eyes should never have to be laid on his sorry ass again. Your former daughter in law is a whore. I've never even used that word on this or any other site, but she fits the bill big time.

Edited September 2, 2018 by Colin Grant

[merrmeade]

You're doing the right thing. My husband had more than one affair. One was with my brother's wife; another was with someone who became his brother's wife.

 

You never forget it. You never completely get over it. And it's much harder to do so if you stay, the main reason being you have his presence to remind you every single day. The other reason is that I have only seen a handful of cheaters on here that really did the work of understanding the betrayed spouse's pain and and became a person that would never again sacrifice the truth for their personal interest. Nope. Who does that? I think now that you grow into adulthood with a core set of values and are yours and who you are and it's next to impossible to change that.

 

So it means you don't really know your husband; you never did. He's been hiding a whole segment of his personality, thoughts, character from you. Who he is and your marriage are built on lies. Unless he gets that, it's really hard to start over.

 

I'd say my husband gets it 70% Not great odds but not terrible either. So in general I see it this way now:

Staying together may be the right thing for some people (it could happen!) , ; but a clean and final separation is NEVER wrong. It's the best solution for the betrayed spouse. You might be able to make reconciliation work, but you might not. So you have less risk making a clean break, starting over and becoming your own person and never looking back.

 

I think you're doing the best thing for you. This way it WILL be mostly over one day in the not too distant future.